"You shouldn't have come here," Jasper says. His words are an ice-dagger being plunged into my heart.
A cold breeze drifts through the clearing.
"Why not?" I try to keep my voice from quivering too much.
He doesn't even respond.
"Is this the plan? Just ignore me forever?"
His eyebrows arch and a crease appears in the center of his brow.
"I'm not ignoring you…" His voice is monotone and rough, he speaks as if he's talking to himself.
"Then what do you call this? Hiding out in the forest, not coming to dinner on the last night of camp?"
"I came here to meditate––" "To get away from me!"
The words burst out of me as if they have a will of their own. I don't want to seem hysterical in front of him but I can't help it. The moon is a giant ghostly presence in the clearing, and clearly, she's still amping up my emotions.
Finally, Jasper looks me in the eye and I feel a bolt, like a static shock, pass between us.
"Max, whatever you think is going to happen here. You're wrong."
Jasper uncrosses his legs and hops down off the boulder gracefully.
"You can't just pretend that nothing happened," I say.
"I can," he says through gritted teeth. "Because I have to."
Jasper takes a step as if he's about to leave but he doesn't get far.
"Bullshit!"
He stops and I want to step closer––I want to take his hand. I want to turn him to face me and hold his pretty, angular face between my palms, but I'm too scared. Scared that whatever this is, it's already ended before it's begun.
"Look, I never even wanted to come to this stupid festival. I thought mates were a big, dumb joke. A fairytale that everyone made up to make themselves feel better! But last night, when we were wolves, something happened and I knew...I knew…" "What?" he mutters when I can't finish my sentence.
"I knew it was real. It's all real!"
Jasper doesn't move. He tenses his jaw and balls his hands into fists.
Why won't he look me in the eye?
"What happened last night was not supposed to happen," he says. "It was just a weird trick of the moon. It doesn't mean there's something between us."
He swallows.
"It doesn't mean that we're mates."
With every word, he sounds more and more disgusted, as if the thought of being my mate is sickening to him.
"It doesn't mean something else is going to happen now and it definitely doesn't mean that I have to listen to you."
Jasper finally looks at me. His eyes are obsidian black, like starless galaxies, cold and empty.
"It doesn't mean anything."
My stomach crumples and I hunch over, as if I've been sucker-punched. I wrap my arms around myself, clutching my aching belly.
I shake my head. My lips move but no sound comes out.
The moon bears down on my shoulders, like one of those machines that crush cars.
"No...no…" Jasper's vacant look softens and for a second I wonder if he might even approach me, might even try to comfort me, hug me, anything… But he doesn't move.
"Yes, Max," he says, finality thumping in his words like soil tossed onto a casket.
I press my lips together and suddenly feel my anger return.
Who does this jerk think he is!?
I'm not some kid he can gaslight into believing there's nothing going on. I'm a person in this as well and I was here in this clearing last night too.
I know what I felt––what I feel.
"I know you feel it too!" I shout. "You can pretend all you want.
You can be a jerk, you're freaking good at that. But I know what you're feeling."
"How could you possibly know what I'm feeling?!" Jasper roars, spinning to face me head on.
His chest is heaving. Every muscle in his body is tense, veins are popping out on his arms and forehead.
"You have no idea what my life is like," he says. "No idea what I've been through! I am the next alpha of this pack and you're some kid from the suburbs. How could you possibly know anything about what I'm feeling?!"
I'm scared Jasper's head is about to blow off but even so, I remain calm. Somehow his anger has sapped me of all of mine. I don't feel scared or sad or lonely anymore...I feel confident.
I take a step forward.
"I know what you're feeling because I'm feeling it too."
He doesn't say anything, so I take another step.
"I felt it last night. I've been feeling it ever since we met that day in the city."
Another step.
"This feeling is too big to ignore. We can't just pretend it doesn't exist."
"It doesn't," he hisses. I freeze mid-step. When he doesn't bolt I carefully lower my foot to the floor.
"It does," I say. "I know it doesn't make any sense and, if I'm being honest I probably wouldn't have chosen you either, but, Jasper, you're my…" "Don't say it."
"You're…" "Don't…" "You're my mate."
My foot hits the ground as Jasper's mouth tears open, letting out a ragged, high-pitched roar.
Fangs sprout from his gums. His muzzle elongates and his eyes move apart. Pitch-black fur spreads across his face. His shoulders hunch and his bones look as if they're about to burst through his skin.
His legs crack backward, with a spine chilling crunch, and he tumbles forward onto his paws.
His expensive clothes explode into shreds as his muscles swell.
It takes less than a few seconds for Jasper to shift completely into his wolf form.
I stand frozen.
Jasper growls, snaps his jaws once, and then spins, darting off into the woods.
He's running away!
I can't let him. If I can face up to the truth about us, so can he.
I know I won't catch him if I don't leave now, so without taking my clothes off I shift, tearing the fabric of my jeans and shredding my favorite hoodie.
I land with a thud, and shake out my fur, before leaping in his direction.
His scent is like a trail of tantalizing breadcrumbs––visible to my wolf eyes. I follow the bioluminescent trail leading me to him.
I can sense his determination to outrun me, which only makes me run faster.
Then all of a sudden the path is gone.
I skid to a halt at the edge of a dark pool of water. Jasper is nowhere to be seen, the trail's gone cold.
In front of me a waterfall is streaming down the side of the cliff face. Crystalline water, like falling diamonds, crashes onto the ridge and tumbles into the pool.
For a second I'm distracted by how stupidly gorgeous it is, too caught up to notice Jasper stalking up behind me.
I turn with just enough time to brace myself as he lunges, knocking me onto my back. I kick frantically and try to right myself.
The second I'm standing, Jasper lunges again but this time I'm ready. I swipe with a paw and knock him to the side.
Even in the heat of the moment, I'm kind of amazed that I managed to land a blow on the alpha's son.
But my celebration is short-lived. Jasper runs at me again, ramming his shoulder against my side and sending me flying.
I grunt as I hit the earth and roll onto my back. Jasper crashes on top of me, pining me to the ground.
I lie helpless beneath him.
Scared that he's lost control completely, I do the only thing I can think of...shift back into human form.
He won't tear out my jugular if I'm human, right?!
I wince and groan as my muscles shrink and suddenly the massive weight of Jasper's wolf is crushing me.
To my relief, Jasper shifts as well. He returns to human form, but he's still on top of me.
His eyes are forest-green once more, his black hair hangs over his brow. Our faces are just inches apart and I notice for the first time the pale freckles speckling the bridge of his nose.
He's shaking and can't catch his breath.
I tremble as the cold from the ground seeps into my body. Suddenly, I'm extremely aware that I'm naked and so is Jasper.
But I can't move, all I can do is wait to see what his next move is.
I'm scared I've pissed him off, pushed him too far. Maybe I shouldn't have poked as much as I did but I had to...I had to tell him how I feel, even if it means he's about to punch my face in.
He moves and I flinch.
Before he headbutts me I have to do something...
"Jasper, I'm sor––" Jasper presses his lips against mine.
His kiss is hard––angry. I can feel the hair on the back of my head being mushed into the soil.
But I don't mind. My body is tingling all over and not from the cold.
I'm floating and falling all at the same time. Rocking in a sea of iridescent rainbows. Streams of color are rushing past––glitter and sparkles.
I part my lips and kiss him back.
He tastes like cherry soda.
I reach up and place a hand on the back of his head. I feel the bump on his skull where it meets his spine and think how strangely intimate that is.
My fingers dig into his soft, glossy hair.
Our faces are pressed together, our noses flattened against each other's cheeks.
Just when I'm starting to think I might pass out if I don't come up for air, Jasper pulls away.
"There," he says bitterly. "Is that what you wanted?"
Jasper stands without saying another word and walks into the forest.
He's gone in an instant.
I lie on the soil, cold, alone...and naked.