"Oh, sorry," Jasper says, panic rising in his expression.
I rub my head and take him in. My body is tingling in all the places we just made contact––my left arm, my forehead, my knee, my chest.
"Man, you're bad at not running into people, huh?" I ask.
Standing beside Jasper are Olivia and Aisha. Olivia has one eyebrow raised in a way that says 'pot–kettle–black,' but Aisha is eyeing me curiously. I catch her glancing back and forth between me and Jasper.
Being in such close proximity to Jasper is making my head start to swim and I know I need to get out of here. My knees are weak and my hands are desperate just to reach out and touch him.
He doesn't say anything else. In fact, he looks like he might be sick.
Same old Jasper.
I glance at Olivia then to Aisha. Maybe he doesn't want to say anything in front of them.
Sure, I'm not about to flood my Tiktok with posts proclaiming I've found my soul mate either. But why does he have to stare at me like I'm a piece of roadkill?
"Is there something on my face?" I ask, deadpanning.
Aisha steps forward.
"We were just at your cabin checking in on Simon. Double mates," she says, lifting her brows, "that doesn't happen every blue moon."
"Yeah," I say, not breaking eye contact with Jasper. "A lot of firsts this year."
I'm making things awkward on purpose and I'm not sorry. Olivia looks completely uninterested, while Jasper's jaw is so tense he could crack a molar. Aisha is rocking onto her toes, nodding.
"Well, we should get back, right Jasp?" Aisha says, taking him by the elbow. "There's always a bunch of paperwork the alpha needs after a Mating Run."
"Sure," I say, but I'm not moving anywhere. If Jasper wants to remain silent, if he wants to ignore the fact that we're mates then that's up to him.
"Jasp?" Aisha says.
I keep my stare focused on his eyes as he darts his gaze to the ground.
"Yeah," he says, monotone as usual. "Let's go."
Jasper and Olivia walk straight past me and I turn to Aisha. My cheeks begin to tremble as tears well in my eyes. What is going on with me?
She reaches out and gently takes hold of my wrist.
"Sit with me at dinner, okay?" she says, quietly.
I give her a pitiful nod.
I stomp the rest of the way to my cabin, swallowing the tears that I won't let fall.
Why am I even upset? I'd decided I didn't want anything to do with Jasper, or mating, or this dumb festival. So why when he ignored me did it feel like my heart was shrinking?
Inside the cabin I'm hit with another wave of Jasper's scent. They said they'd just been here.
Great! I roll my eyes. I can't even get away from him in my own cabin.
Across the room, Simon––freshly showered and in a clean set of clothes–– is curled up into a ball on his bunk, facing the wall.
I'm tempted to do the same thing, but I don't want to give Jasper the satisfaction. All I need is a distraction, that's all. I grab my trusty sketchbook and my headphones and head back out.
I spend the rest of the day down by the lake drawing, listening to music, and wishing there was better reception so I could at least doom scroll on Tiktok. I do everything I can to try and keep my thoughts from wandering back to Jasper.
It's super hard.
Every time a romantic song comes on my playlist I skip it but turns out there's a whole lot of songs about love. Every time a longing thought enters my head I flip the page of my book and start a new sketch but I'm quickly running low on pages. I draw boring unromantic objects––a stone, a tuft of grass, my shoelace. Yet whatever I do my thoughts inevitably creep back to him.
What is he doing right now? Did he really have paperwork he needed to do? That seems like a lie. Will we get to figure everything out before we go home tomorrow?
I'm glad when the sun finally starts to dip below the horizon. It's nearly dinner time and Aisha asked me to sit with her. At least I won't have to eat alone. And maybe, just maybe I can speak to Jasper.
As much as I hate to admit it, I want to see him again. Even though I'm still mad. Maybe he's just as confused as I am. Maybe he's just as freaked-the-fudge out as me.
Plus, my family is nothing like Jasper's. They're chill. Yes, the thought of telling them I'm mated to a guy is terrifying, but deep down I'm pretty sure they'd still love me.
From what I heard of Jasper's phone call with his dad, I don't know if he can say the same.
So, I fold up my sketchbook and head back to my cabin to change.
In the dining hall I find Katie and Todd sitting at our usual table.
They're play-fighting and laughing. I think I might die from cringe overload when Todd literally picks Katie up and puts her on his lap. She seems to be enjoying herself so I'm happy for her but still...totally, get a room.
Sitting across from them is Eleanor, slouching like a cloud of sadness. Simon is nowhere to be seen.
I think about going over but then I spot Aisha. She waves for me to join her.
It's still early and the dining hall is only starting to fill up. Aisha is alone at the alpha's table.
"Hey baby," she says when I flop into the seat next to her.
"Hi.".
"Big weekend." I'm not sure if it's a question or a comment.
"For some," I huff.
The chairs around us start to fill up and I keep glancing toward the door where Jasper usually makes his entrance.
"So," she says. "How was your first Mating Run?"
I chuckle a little. "That's the big question, isn't it?"
At tables around the hall, couples are pressed tightly shoulder to shoulder.
"Are you disappointed?" she says, turning in her seat and lowering her gaze. Has Jasper said something to her? If he was going to tell anyone, it would be Aisha. Hell, I'm this close to spilling my guts out to her myself.
I stop and think about the question.
"No," I say and she smiles just a little. I'm kind of shocked by my own words but they're true. I'm not disappointed and I can't keep it in any longer.
"The truth is…" Here come my guts. "I wasn't expecting much from this festival. Mostly, I just wanted to get through it. And no, things haven't turned out the way I was expecting, but there's this crackling ball of electricity in the center of my chest that wasn't there before and it feels...it feels cool."
Aisha's smile widens as little pools of tears appear along her lower eyelid. She takes my hand with both of hers. They're warmer than I was expecting.
"Oh baby," she says. "For the record, I think any wolf would be lucky to have you as their mate. I want you to know that, okay? I want you to remember how special you are, Max."
"You don't have to say that...I…" I glance over Aisha's shoulder. People have started eating but we're not supposed to start until Jasper is here. Two place settings away his chair sits empty.
"He's not coming, is he?"
From the pity in her eyes, I can tell Aisha knows what's going on.
She knew before I even sat down that Jasper was going to be a no-show.
And she knows what that means to me.
"That jerk," I say, pushing away from the table.
"Max!" she calls out but I don't turn back. "There's more to it than you know!"
Maybe I should listen to her but I'm too angry. My body is vibrating again, only this time it isn't the mate bond, it's blind fury.
I can't believe he's too cowardly to even show up.
And I thought I was the one who didn't care about all of this mating bullshit.
He isn't just uncaring, he's low, a worm––a cold, unfeeling, slippery little worm.
I exit the dining hall and am immediately accosted by the moon's brightness.
All of the power she had the last few nights has fallen away. Now she just looks mean, like an empty promise. A big, cheesy, crater-faced lie.
It's too much.
I need to get away from it. So I turn and run. I run into the forest, wanting to get lost in the darkness.
My plan is just to run until I can't feel the moon's presence any longer. But I quickly realize I'm choosing my path with purpose. I know where I'm going.
I'm not trying to escape.
I'm not running away.
I'm marching toward my fate. To Jasper.
I want to confront him, I want to tell him how big of a coward he is.
And I have an inkling I know where I can find him.
It's easy to find this place now, like second nature. I walk out into the clearing, ~our~ clearing, and I'm not surprised to see he's already here.
Jasper is sitting on the top of his rock, legs crossed, eyes closed, palms facing skyward.
I step into the moonlight and let it wash over my face. I thought I was coming here to give him a piece of my mind. I wanted to call him scared and pathetic. I wanted to tell him I didn't care if we were mates. That I wouldn't want to be mated to someone like him anyway. But the second I see him all of those thoughts vanish as if I'd never thought them.
I want him to talk to me, but I'm scared of what he'll say.
I stare at him, my lip trembling, unsure of how to begin.
Jasper doesn't even open his eyes. He parts his perfect lips and speaks.
"You shouldn't have come here."