MATHIAS
¿El cazador está perdiendo su presa?
How many times will I have to curse the damn sound of my phone in the mornings? The little sleep I've gotten these past weeks... and today, when I finally feel like I'm actually resting.
When I open my eyes, I realize I'm not in my dorm room at the Institute, but in my father's mansion.
How much did I drink last night?
On one of the nightstands next to the bed is the damn phone, along with a note that reads:
"I hope you actually slept well this time. I'll be back in a few hours. Make yourself at home. Nefertary I."
I have no fucking idea how I got here, but here I am.
The damn phone rings again, and I grab it, but not before checking the time.
Noon. Shit. How long did I sleep?
~ What do you want, Henry? —I mutter as I sit up in bed.
~ So I show up at the Institute to visit you and you're not there, and that's how you answer, idiot? Where the hell are you?
~ I couldn't even tell you for sure…
~ You broke out of the fucking Institute, didn't you, Mathias? —that mocking tone in his voice is impossible to miss.
~ Not exactly... —just then, someone opens the door— I'll call you back. —I hang up when I see Nefertary walk in, dressed in workout clothes.
—Did you eat anything or did you just wake up?
—I just woke up.
—Good thing I had someone from the staff bring food up, in case you were hungry. It's like oatmeal but with Greek yogurt, chocolate, and kiwi, plus whole wheat bread. I don't really know what drink they'll bring... or do you prefer...?
—No, I think that's fine.
—Alright, I'm going to take a shower now.
—Nefertary, I...
—I told you to stay at my mansion. The reason you're in my bedroom is because you didn't want to stay in the guest room. Do you remember the party?
—Kind of... I remember being with you most of the time.
—It wasn't much. After two hours, I bailed. With you, obviously. —A knock at the door interrupts.
—Come in.
—I brought what you asked for, Miss Nefertary.
—You can leave it there. —The girl does as instructed and leaves a few seconds later.
—Enjoy your meal!
As she walks past me, I grab her by the arm, catching an incredible glimpse of her blue eyes, streaked with grey.
—What's wrong? —Why does she have to be so perfect, so ordinary on the surface, and yet have such a rotten soul? Why can't she just be normal?— Mathias?
—I'm going out with a friend —I say, letting go of her arm. I have no fucking clue why I said that. I haven't even made plans with Henry.
—Alright! Do you need anything? Because I already anticipated the clothes —she points to a few shopping bags on the sofa.
—I think that's all. Thanks.
With that, she heads to one of the rooms —I assume the bathroom— while I sit down to eat what the staff girl brought, texting Henry that I'll meet him at the same café as last time.
A few minutes later, I'm done eating —breakfast or lunch, honestly who knows— and I take a shower to get ready to see that idiot friend of mine.
Who would've thought I'd be here, with the same person who's been haunting my nightmares these past days, weeks…
The one responsible for me…
Just thinking about it makes me hate her so damn much.
—Are you ready? —my eyes lock on hers, hypnotized by those two colors that always seem to be fighting for dominance.
—Yeah, I'm ready.
—Alright, I'll take you to the garage so you can pick one of the cars —before I can argue that it's unnecessary—
—Since you don't want one of my drivers taking you, you don't really have a choice. And I'm not going to argue about it.
—When have I ever had a choice? —she ignores my comment and turns to walk out. I follow behind her.
In the hallway, we run into Natasha, who's just coming out of one of the rooms. When she sees us, she immediately heads our way with a wide smile on her face.
—Mathias, I didn't know you were here. How have you been? —If I hadn't seen her at Ibagon's father's funeral, I wouldn't have even known these two were cousins. Though the resemblance is pretty obvious.
—Good… I guess.
—"I guess"? —she asks teasingly, glancing at Nefertary, who's wearing a deadly serious expression—. What did you do to him, Nefertary?
—None of your business, Natasha —Ibagon grabs my hand and pulls me along with her.
I have no idea what's behind her sudden mood swings. They're absolutely unpredictable. So much so that I wouldn't be surprised if she slit your throat just for pissing her off.
And I'm no better, standing next to a nuclear bomb that could go off and destroy me at any second. But what other choice do I have?
My father's right —I'm just a kid who likes getting into trouble.
And if he knew everything that's happened these past few days, he'd probably kill me himself.
I don't even know what's worse anymore: getting murdered by my father or by a psychotic maniac.
I roll my eyes at my own stupid question. 'Focus, idiot.'
When we get to the garage, there's a massive collection of cars.
Unlike Henry with his obsession for classic vehicles, these are all modern. The kind you'd kill to have in some underground racing circuit.
—Which one's your favorite?
—I think I'll go with something not too flashy... just to get to a café —she laughs at my words.
—We're billionaires, Mathias. Just breathing already draws everyone's attention.
—Sometimes I think life would be easier if I were just... ordinary —she steps closer, cutting the distance between us until she's right in front of me.
—Don't lie to yourself. If you were "ordinary" like most people, you'd be dying to have this —she runs her hands across my chest, up to my shoulders—. Simply because we're never satisfied. And we've never cared about hurting others to get what we want —she moves even closer, bringing her lips to mine.
She moves them in perfect sync.
This isn't a kiss born from love.
It's fueled by hatred, desire, lust.
It's violent, addictive, and disgusting all at once. What we feel for each other is sick, toxic, and it's going to destroy one of us.
Nefertary pulls back slightly to catch her breath. I don't give her much time before I bring her lips back to mine, pulling her closer.
I still don't understand this need to have her near.
And I hate myself for it.
It makes me want to take it out on her.
Blame her for everything... even though it's partly my fault too.
It was my choice. My decision.
I fell at her feet like a fool.
This time, I pull away to breathe.
—I'll be late.
—Is it that important? —I know I'd stay for a stronger dose. One that would be signing my death warrant.
But I need to be out.
Away from her.
I need to be around people I know won't hurt me, who won't lie to me.
—Can you let me go…? Can you release me for a couple of hours, monster? Have a little mercy on me… —that came out more like a plea. I've never begged anyone before.
—As long as you come back to me… I'll make the effort to show you a bit of compassion —she kisses my cheek and then steps away from me completely.
✧────── ༉───✦───༉ ─────✧
In the end, I left there in a black SUV. The ride to the café was shorter than I expected. I didn't take long to get to that place, which was half empty, something I appreciated since lately I was feeling anxious being in places with too many people. I felt suffocated.
I took a seat at one of the tables in the corner, next to the windows. Henry didn't take long to arrive. After a few minutes, we ordered some drinks.
—Where the hell have you been, Mathias?
—I already told you I've been busy.
—Busy? —he lets out a sarcastic laugh—. Even your father wouldn't believe that. —He inhales deeply, and I know perfectly well that every time he does that, it's to keep his composure—. Let's start over: what kind of trouble have you gotten into? Not even sending me a "Hey idiot, I'm fine," which takes less than a minute to write. And secondly: how the hell are you here? I mean, how did you get out of the Institute? Because I doubt your father signed any permission. —I roll my eyes.
—I had no idea I already had a damn girlfriend. You're worse than the women, huh...
—Jaa. That's another question: why that shitty attitude? —Just when I was about to say something, he points at me—. And don't you dare change the damn subject. —This time I take a breath.
How do I tell him I've been like this because I've set my eyes on the wrong girl, the one I fucked. That a few weeks ago I was kidnapped and I killed two people. That I've basically gotten involved with mafia people. That I can't say anything, because I'd be signing my death... and his.
—Are you going to talk?
—Do you know who Nefertary Ibagon is? —He opens his eyes wide in surprise, leaning over the table.
—Of course! That girl is from one of the most powerful families in Switzerland, she practically controls everything. And, besides, she's Natasha's cousin, remember her? —I nod at the question—. Well, what does she have to do with you?
—I imagine you know about her father... She's not doing very well, and since we share some classes... let's say I've gotten close.
—You're joking, right?
—Why would I lie to you?
—The girl you're talking about doesn't let any guy get close to her. I, who have gone to her underground parties and am on her VIP list, have never seen her interact with others. She always gives short speeches, stays for two hours, and leaves. At school, the only person she hung out with — or let get close — was some Lucia.
—What can I say? —I say while taking a sip from my drink bottle.
—What you're telling me is impossible. Nefertary Ibagon is the untouchable girl. Both at that Institute and... better said, anywhere.
—I inform you that her social circle has grown. She doesn't talk to Lucía anymore. —I cross my arms.
—I try to believe you, but honestly, it's hard. —He takes a few seconds to process the info. And I don't blame him for being shocked; I'd be the same if I'd been here these years—. Who got you out of the Institute?
—Who do you think? —He puts a hand to his mouth, leaning slightly back on his chair.
—And where the hell are you staying?
—At her mansion.
—What!? Are you kidding me? —God knows if I were mentally well, I'd be mocking him right now.
—What would I gain by lying to you, idiot?
—I still don't believe it. God...
—Then believe it.
—One more question: you and her have... —To not be more obvious, I had to choke on the damn soda — When?
—Does it matter?
—Of course it matters! You've hooked up with the most desired and unattainable chick in all of Switzerland. Of course it matters!
—Yesterday. And I'm not giving more details.
—Oh, come on, Mathias. —Truth is, I've never been good at sharing details about the girls I've been with. I always keep that to myself, because it disgusts me when others talk about them like they're fucking objects.
—You know what I think about that. —He raises his hands in surrender.
—Just one more question: what's the deal between you two? —I don't even have a damn clue. Because for some hours she's with me, and other hours, there's the idiot Michael making out with her.
—I don't know. She's going through dealing with her father's death and well... I don't want to mess her up more. —I excuse myself.
—And what do you want from her? Because that "something casual" bullshit doesn't look real. To be absent and missing for Ibagon...
—I just know I hate having her close... and far. —The confused look he gave asks for more context—. I mean, she has a difficult personality... and at the same time she drives me crazy.
—Are you falling in love?
It could be everything... but that. It could be feelings deeper than love.
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After spending a few hours with Henry, I decided to go to the cemetery, the best place to find silence, simply because people forget to visit their loved ones, leaving them alone. I admit I envy them right now; they're in such a peaceful place that I even wish to be in their spot, to be one more among them.
I could say that before coming to Switzerland, my thoughts were only about going to parties and fucking every girl who wanted to, spending my father's money as I pleased, besides finishing my last year well. Now things are different, I never thought I'd ask myself: 'What the hell is my purpose in life?' If technically I had the luck to have it all... except my mother... she's the only thing the world stole from me. Since her death, everything changed. My father became colder, distant, only focusing on business. When I needed him the most, he just chose to stay away. Although I must admit he was dealing with his grief differently, at the same time building walls between us.
I don't want to go back in time. I'm aware of my decisions, their consequences, and that's why I'm in this place... anyway, I'm already dead, it's just a matter of hours.
✧────── ༉───✦───༉ ─────✧
My last stop, a distant place, I don't even know why I'm here. Maybe just for the sake of "freedom," how tempting it sounds, that's what brought me.
—I thought you didn't drink.
—I thought so too.
She takes a breath while studying me.
—Nefertary has always been a fool to believe she can create monsters and control them at her whim. That twisted way she has of getting you into her life... —she laughs at that.
—I don't think they're that different. After all, they're sisters. Both use people at their whim, as long as it's useful.
—The difference is she's more impulsive and I'm more analytical. I'll always be one step ahead. I won't deny I need you to do harm. I'll tell you everything I'll do to you, I won't be the one to confuse you.
—What do I get by helping you?
—Now you'd have a "normal" life. You wouldn't suffer shortages, you wouldn't be afraid, and you wouldn't be going through severe depression. Maybe I can't give you your old life back, but I can free you from the one you have now. I won't lie: to get there, the path will be stained with that crimson color you despise so much, Mathias. I offer you freedom.
'I don't think I can spend my life like this, enduring it. At some point I'll hit bottom and I don't know if I can get out of it for having lost myself in a world that's not mine, to which I don't belong... what else can I lose?' That's why...
—What do I have to do?