30. "TIRED OF HURTING"
A father can tell me that I should spend these years having fun with all kinds of girls that like me, a mother can tell me that I should take a break from writing but both of these advices don't really sink in well in my ocean of misery.
I keep searching for a way out in the dark room, each door leads me to a darker room, I stay in this room, painting pictures in these closing walls, at a little bit of light, I see all the pain drawn all over the wall but that's how I'm wired, just pain and misery.
A father should understand that I'm trying to find my way in this dark world but I'm stuck in this phase of misery, a mother should understand that I fell in love strong at a very young age in a loveless world.
I keep writing but it's not helping me, I keep creating a fantasy before I sleep but nightmares wait for me in the middle of the night, I wake up covered in sweat because of the person that I wake up not seeing anymore.
I keep hoping better but all I got in these words is pain, pain, pain, and pain, fuck this..
WRITTEN BY THEODORE.