My world was slowly breaking apart.
As I listened to the CEO of our agency shout at me through his phone , I could not help going into circles in my head.
Where did I go wrong ? Where did I go wrong ?
" Seymore, please , about the reporters," I could not finish my sentence.
I walked into the hospital, barely remembering to wear my make and cap .
Both of my friends were in a private room . Winter was sleeping on the bed and Rain sat beside her by the chair .
Her hair was a mess , there was a patch of green dye at the root of her hair , her mascara was running down her cheeks .
I immediately went to hug her .
Her soft strawberry perfume was comforting to me . It felt like home .
" What did the doctor say ?," I asked again.
She broke into sobs.
There were no words , but I consoled her with my arms and fingers , holding her , brushing her hair , wiping her tears .
Winter woke up soon afterwards and started crying again .
" I swear that we were using protection," she said between the hiccups.
" Let me kill that jerk ," I offered .
" Stop it , it's not his fault , it is mine !"
Seymore walked in , with bottles of water ," I had talked with the hospital management, no one will speak about it . I am booking a visit to Goryan Abortion Clinic , in two days. Take some rest before that ."
I and Rain stared at Winter . She thought for a while and then wiped away her tears ," Yes , that will be for the best ."
" Also Winter , you know what you should do right ?," Seymore put a hand on her shoulder.
She noded , sorrow made her shrink smaller and smaller .
" I will break up with Reynolds."
I sat with her there as she bid Reynolds last goodbye. Rain patted her showering her with compliments afterwards.
Winter took in all the smiles and tears and compliments but I could see how her world was breaking apart .
Something inside her was tearing open and maybe it would never heal . She could be never whole again.
I placed a fist on my chest , feeling the aches inside my own ribcage .
Would we heal ? How long would it take ?
The next day was in a blur . CEO of our Agency called for me to give lectures on my scandal and sudden absent from the show ' Tea with an Idol '
They were going to kick me out of the show anyway but by not staying through the length of the whole schedule apparantly I was the one who had violated the contract .
The news were over exaggerated for a day about the downfall of ' Four Seasons ' led by Autumn Dane. Even though Sunshine corporation kept trying to cover up the news , the images kept popping up in internet again and again .
Ofcourse I did not go back home . I spent two days in my studio working on my voice .
I was not a genius when it came to singing , but I loved losing myself in the rhythms -
I don't like what you made me do
I wore a collar with your name
You say it's love , but it's over due
I am just a pawn in your game
So I threw away the crown you made me wear
I am the owner of my own hell
I will show you how I shine like a star
In a kingdom I built with my blood and flesh .
Honestly rapping was not something I was good at , especially if it was going to be in a foreign language. Often we had rap part in Spanish or French - all that were mostly handled by our youngest member Winter.
But I did not know when she would be up for practice. A dread passed through me as I thought about the tour coming up .
We could not cancel that .
With everything going on , we could not handle the backlash of cancelling the tour - something our fans had been looking out for since it has been announced in the last year .
My head throbbed and my vision swam if AI thought about it too much .
Seymore looked genuinely concerned when he informed me that my promotional vedio shooting had been cancelled. With the scandal going on they did not want me there .
I had expected as much as this . In the past week all I had given hard work to build was slowly breaking apart , I did not know if I had the strength to hold onto any of them .
I still had to pull myself together as my father kept calling me asking about the scandals and my relationship with Liam Anderson.
I was just glad that he did not know about Jasper yet . That man was so drunk into his job and protection the prestige and property of Dane family, he could not even recognise his own son in the picture.
The conversation with my everly detached parent went on as cheerful as it usually was .
" Over the years , I had never pressured you with having kids since I know that Mr. Anderson has been busy over the years , but now you go around dating some moron and pissing him off ! Do you understand the backlash our company will face ? What is even worth of that face if you can not even seduce your own husband!"
The ears kept getting redder and redder hearing him speak like I was some object , solely used as a sexual object to please my father's owner Andersons .
" Use you body , buy some lingeries !"
" Father !," I could not take it anymore , I had still some dignity left so I could not bear to hear this from my own parent .
" How useless you have to be for another woman to some and swipe him away ," my father shrieked on the other side of the phone ," I am prohibiting you from living in that damn dorm. Go home and get on your knees !"
I did not understand. I was not a child anymore. Why did he think that he could ban me from staying at my only safe place - the dorm with my friends.
He was not paying for it . I was paying for the dorm .
" I can manage my marital life all by myself, you do not need to worry about it ," I said as politely as I could .
My father was silent for a second and then he said in a cold sweet voice ," Then I guess that it is time I give a visit to your mother, Autumn."
A lump formed inside my throat. He knew my mother was in a psychiatric ward . He knew whose fault was that .
He knew what would happen if my mother had to face her rotten husband again .
" I will go home and stay with Anderson today ," my voice broke as I accepted my defeat .
" Thank you Autumn," my father said in a warm voice that burnt my flesh ," I always knew that I can count on my daughter to lift off my burden ."