We're getting closer to resuming school, and my anxiety keeps on increasing. What if Samuel told someone? That's all I cam think about. I can't text him to ask him though because I hope he forgets about it. I know he never will though. I'm sure of it. He wanted it as much as I did. Strangely enough though, that was it. My attraction to him was cut off after the incident. He repulsed me now, honestly, with his rat face. I wonder how i even used to like him. Like i said, he led me on. And I was sure he liked me too. But I thought that way of any boy who stared at me too long, smiled at me, held me by my waist and all. It's crazy, honestly. But it makes me feel wanted, desired, beautiful. For a boy to like me, out of all the more beautiful girls, me! It flatters me, and i do like flattery well myself. Maybe too much for my own good. But, it's not my fault, is it? It simply can't be.
Maybe if I felt good about myself, how I looked. Maybe if I thought and knew that I was worth it, enough, beautiful. Maybe, just Maybe, none of this would've never have happened.
But I was none of these, not even good looking. And that made me angry. So very angry.
Ah well, there's no time for that. I do even worse things, more stupid things are ahead. Stay tuned