Chapter 14 – Preparing for Erasure
Ne Job did not sleep that night.
Mostly because the shredder-gremlins wouldn't stop whispering, "Goodbye forever, unauthorized intern," from under his desk. He had tried stuffing scrolls into his ears, but that only made their giggles louder.
By dawn, his eyes were bloodshot, his hair resembled a failed calligraphy brush, and he had nearly convinced himself that erasure wouldn't be so bad. After all, how painful could being deleted from all of existence be? Like… getting your file dragged into the celestial trash bin, right?
Then Assistant Yue slammed a pile of documents on his desk.
"Sit," she ordered. "We're doing survival prep."
Ne Job blinked. "What kind of survival prep? Like sword drills? Meditation? Improvised bomb disposal?"
"Paperwork drills," Yue said grimly.
Ne Job's face fell. "Oh. That's worse."
---
The training began with Yue firing rapid questions at him while shoving forms into his hands.
"What is the proper procedure when reincarnating a mortal who committed minor fraud but donated to orphanages?"
"Uh… send them back as a… generous raccoon?"
"WRONG. Section 7, Sub-clause 12. Next. How many witnesses are required to validate a karmic transfer of heroic deeds?"
"Three! No, four! No, uh—can I bribe them with dumplings?"
Yue groaned. "At this rate, you'll be erased before lunch."
"Maybe I'll come back as a dumpling," Ne Job muttered.
She smacked him with the intern manual. "Focus!"
---
Meanwhile, Lord Bureaucrat Xian paced the hall like a condemned man rehearsing his last speech. His beard quivered, his fan snapped open and shut, and every so often he muttered, "Sixty-three percent efficiency… ruined, ruined…"
When Ne Job wandered too close, Xian grabbed him by the shoulders. "Do you realize what this means, boy? If you fail tomorrow, not only will you vanish, but the Bureau will be marked as harboring anomalies! They might dissolve us entirely!"
"Dissolve? Like… into soup?" Ne Job asked weakly.
"Into nothingness!" Xian thundered. "And it will be YOUR fault!"
Yue sighed. "That's not helping."
Xian jabbed his fan at her. "Then YOU make him less useless!"
"Trying," Yue said through gritted teeth.
---
As if things weren't already tense, the Evil Manual Spirit chose that exact moment to poke its inky head out of Ne Job's satchel.
"Ohoho," it purred, "trial at the Heavenly Tribunal, is it? How deliciously dramatic. Wouldn't you prefer my help? I can forge legitimacy documents faster than you can say 'unauthorized existence.'"
Ne Job shoved the manual down, panicked. "Not now!"
Yue narrowed her eyes. "Was that… the Evil Manual again?"
"Nope! Just… indigestion!" Ne Job squeaked.
The manual chuckled from inside his bag. Indigestion, indeed. Wait until you taste nonexistence.
---
Later that morning, as Ne Job struggled through more practice questions, a familiar chill filled the hall. The doors swung open, and in strode Ao Bing, his pristine armor glinting, his expression the very picture of icy disdain.
"Well, well," Ao Bing drawled. "I heard rumors the Bureau's favorite disaster is about to be erased. I came to confirm the good news."
Ne Job flinched. "You didn't have to sound so happy about it!"
"Oh, I did," Ao Bing said smoothly. "In fact, I've brought a front-row seat reservation for the Tribunal."
Yue rolled her eyes. "Do you ever get tired of gloating?"
"Never," Ao Bing replied. "But… even I admit, if the Tribunal decides he was never authorized, it raises questions. Who approved him in the first place? Perhaps some superior officer will take the blame."
Xian froze mid-fan snap. "Nonsense! Utter nonsense! I approved nothing!"
Ao Bing smirked. "We'll see."
Ne Job paled. Great. Not only am I on trial for my existence, but Xian might be dragged down with me. If that happens, Yue will definitely kill me before the Tribunal does.
---
By evening, Yue had crammed so many rules, sub-clauses, and cross-references into Ne Job's head that his brain felt like an overstuffed scroll cabinet.
"Remember," Yue said sternly, "tomorrow, you must answer confidently, cite regulations where possible, and—most important—don't joke."
Ne Job nodded. "Got it. No jokes. I'll be serious. Stoic. Deadly boring."
"Good."
"…But if I am erased, can I request to come back as a celestial dumpling vendor?"
Yue facepalmed so hard it echoed.
---
That night, Ne Job wandered outside the Bureau to clear his head. The stars glittered above, indifferent to his impending doom.
He sat on the steps, hugging his knees. For once, the chaos in his head was quiet.
What if I really don't belong here? he thought. Maybe Lady Qilin's right. Maybe I slipped through the cracks. Maybe I was never meant to exist.
A soft voice broke his spiral. "If you were never meant to exist," said Princess Ling, who had appeared beside him with her usual graceful calm, "then why do you leave such a large mess wherever you go?"
Ne Job jumped. "Princess! Uh—I mean, mess? That's not—"
She smiled faintly. "What I mean is… existence is proven not by approval, but by impact. You irritate Yue, you terrify Xian, you even make the gremlins laugh. That is proof enough that you are real."
Ne Job blinked at her. "…That was… actually really nice. Thank you."
Ling tilted her head. "Don't thank me yet. The Tribunal doesn't care about impact. They care about records. And if the records say you don't belong…"
Her smile faded.
"…then even I might not remember you, once they erase you."
Ne Job's stomach dropped. "Not remember? As in… poof, gone?"
She nodded. "Like you were never here."
For the first time, Ne Job truly grasped what was at stake. Not just his life—but every bond, every argument, every stupid joke… erased from everyone's memory.
He clenched his fists. "No. I won't let them delete me. Even if I have to fight the Tribunal itself!"
Ling gave him a worried look. "…Please don't fight the Tribunal."
---
At dawn, the Bureau gathered to escort him to the Heavenly Tribunal. Yue stood rigid, clutching her manuals like weapons. Xian looked ten years older. Ao Bing smirked in the background.
The sky split open with golden light as a celestial staircase unfurled, leading upward into the clouds. At the top, the outline of a vast, shimmering courtroom loomed.
Lady Qilin's voice echoed from above. "Intern Ne Job. Step forward."
Ne Job swallowed hard, then forced himself to climb the first step.
Yue whispered fiercely, "Remember everything I taught you!"
Ao Bing added helpfully, "Or don't. I prefer the erasure outcome."
Ne Job shot him a glare, then squared his shoulders. For once, he tried to look like someone who belonged.
But as he reached the top of the staircase, the golden doors of the Tribunal opened, and a thunderous voice boomed:
"Let the Trial of Existence begin!"
The light was blinding. Ne Job stepped inside—