It's been a few days since grandpa died.
I wasn't sure how long it would take for me to recover.
But everytime I look at grandma.
I always wondered if grandpa left something for her as well.
Part of me wanted to believe that he did, but seeing how untalkable she is, the other part of me thinks that he didn't.
I guess in her eyes his love for her died when he died.
It was clearly evident when during the next day I saw her lying still on the couch of the living room.
My breath shook a little.
Step by step, I slowly walked to her body.
I put my ear against her heart.
I waited.. and waited... and waited.
I wasn't sure how long I would stay in this position.
But at some point I just accepted it.
She was gone now.
I looked up at the roof and took a deep breath.
I wanted to hold the tears back, but couldn't.
I then feel a sudden vibration from my pocket.
It was my phone.
I looked on it to see that Alex asked the entire friend group to play games.
I've never really tried to play games before.
But I accepted without much thought.
But before I did anything else I laid grandma's body on her back.
As I did I noticed a bottle fall from her pocket.
It was a medical bottle.
The ones you get for pills and everything.
It seemed that she bought this a while ago and took in all the pills which probably killed her.
I didn't say anything about it and just covered her face with a towel.
That was the only thing I could give her before I called the ambulance.
I wasn't sure why I called them.
I guess it just felt natural for me to do so.
But either way, they took her body somewhere else instead of leaving it here.
One of them even told me that they'll cover the funeral expenses for her and grandpa.
I just nodded without saying anything.
They then left after that.
Before I left the living room.
I noticed the TV was on and showing the same series they always watched together.
I looked at the couch where they always sat to watch while talking about it.
I quickly looked away before I started crying more than earlier.
I then went back into my room and turned on the console to play games with my friends.
I hadn't told them about anything yet because I wasn't sure how'd they'd react.
I decided that I would tell them over a hangout
While playing games with them I've come to realize why most guys play them.
It helps rid the emotions we feel after everything we go through.
I guess in a way it's like therapy.
Calm games, rage inducing games, and casual games.
For the first time, I understood why people escape into games.
They don't erase the pain, but rather they put it somewhere far away where you could for a little while.
It was interesting and just felt like talking about it for a little bit.
But while playing games with my friends.
Alex revealed that he got a date earlier this week while I was gone.
The girl's name was Jun Liu.
A foreign exchange student from South Korea.
I wasn't sure what to say to him.
I wanted to congratulate him, but I felt empty for that.
I then congratulated in a fake happy tone.
He thanked all of us but I felt like I did something wrong.
But I didn't want to make them think that I wasn't happy about it.
This then brought me the idea of getting into a relationship with someone.
I've never spoken to girls before.
So I wondered if I should try talking to one or not.
Maybe one day I could talk to someone I can speak to about how I actually feel rather than just an empty shell.