By the time we reached the resort in the early morning, everyone was exhausted from the long night's journey. After freshening up, they all fell asleep quickly. But I couldn't. My mind was restless, still replaying the incident from the night before.
To clear my thoughts, I went up to the rooftop swimming pool. Sitting at the edge, I dangled my legs in the cool water, letting the silence calm me down. I stayed there a long time until my sister called, saying everyone was ready to go out and they were waiting for me. I rushed down, but as we left, I noticed none of my male cousins were coming.
When I asked, Mily said they wanted to rest and would join later. But when we arrived at the destination, there he was—already waiting. Our eyes met, and I quickly looked away. My sister asked what he was doing there, and he casually replied that he had just gone out for a walk.
The others were busy laughing, running around, and taking pictures. I asked my sister to take a photo of me; she clicked three shots and then disappeared.
I screamed at her told that I took lots of your pictures before. Don't be a hypocrite
Suddenly, I heard a voice behind me."let me do it."
Without turning, I muttered, "It's fine. I already have enough," and walked away. I headed to a nearby shop to buy a chocolate drink, but he followed me. As I turned to leave, he stopped me.
"Let's talk."
We sat on an empty bench overlooking the others. He asked, "Why are you avoiding me?"
I sipped my juice and answered, "I'm not."
"You are. I can see it."
I stayed silent. After a long pause, I finally asked, "Why did you do that last night? If Mily finds out, she'll be hurt."
He frowned. "Why would Mily be hurt?"
"Don't play dumb. She's your girlfriend. How can you kiss someone else?"
He looked straight into my eyes. "She's not my girlfriend. She never was. Who told you that?"
I didn't reply. He continued, his voice heavy with emotion.
"I was upset when you kept avoiding me. You don't look at me the way you used to. Do you know why I always come here whenever I get a vacation? It's because of you."
I froze. His words didn't match the version of him I knew. Unable to believe him, I stood up. "Stop it here."
I tried to walk away, but he followed, calling me to listen. I changed directions, afraid my sister or cousins might notice us. I told him not to follow me, but he didn't stop. Finally, he caught my hand and pulled me back.
"Let go," I snapped, but instead, he hugged me tightly. My body stiffened as I felt his heartbeat against mine.
"Please… hear me out."
I stopped resisting.
"Your cousin isn't my girlfriend. I've never dated anyone. I knew from the beginning you liked me—the way you looked at me whenever I spoke, I could feel it. What I want is your gentle love."
That day, he became my first boyfriend. That hug was the first I had ever received.
But reality wasn't like the fairytale I expected. Within ten days, I began to feel suffocated. He never restricted me, never told me what to do or not to do—he was so open-minded, so free. And yet, I couldn't breathe.
When he went back home, our relationship turned long-distance. I told him I was busy with studies, pretending I had no time to talk. But the truth was, I had lost interest.
Three years of crush disappeared in just three months of dating. On December 13, 2020, I ended it. I said goodbye to my first boyfriend.
And from that day on, I lost all interest in relationships. I have never dated again.
But fate has its own way of testing hearts…