"Mother, Father… I have something important to say. I do not wish to walk down the path of a Knight any longer." With a firm voice that appropriately displays my resolve, I finally utter the words to my parents.
Both my hands are placed behind me, and I bow my head respectfully.
I let the silence wash over me for a few seconds before raising my head and absorbing the current state of my surroundings.
The luxurious room, far larger than mine, is engulfed in silence.
To distract myself from the piercing gazes fixed on me, I observe the fine embroidery on the purple curtains. I hold deep admiration toward its interwoven bindings—what an artistic choice!
Such workmanship would be rarely seen in the future, which makes me believe this was imported.
Imports and exports drastically reduced after the war with the Sarvosia Kingdom. Despite the Randalorion Kingdom winning, too much of our foundation was expended, and the two main Special Resource channels were lost.
This room contains a lot of valuables that I no longer had when I inherited this place, which means they had to have been sold to keep the Household afloat.
The carpet is luxurious red, and the stone walls shimmer with glossy paint. Everything sparkles with such newness, and the large bed that parents currently sit on seems far grander than the one I had as Head of the Aditi Household.
Indeed! I am in my parents' bedroom.
I sought them out right before they went out for lunch because I knew they would be in their room at this hour.
I could have also made this announcement in a more open or formal setting, but that would not be the most appropriate, at least to me. Such a statement had to be made privately, and I believe I have done my utmost in offering consideration.
"J-Javier, what are you s-sayi—?"
"It is as I said, Mother," I emphasize my words, now lifting my head fearlessly. "I do not wish to be a Knight any longer. I do not have the talent or interest in pursuing that path. I have devoted my entire life to it, and so I am certain of this decision of mine."
None of my statements are lies.
I indeed devoted all of my life to being a Knight! Even after retirement, I ensured to train the other Knights in my Household, and the only interaction I had with my children involved beating the Household's Martial Techniques into them.
Needless to say, I have been a Knight all my life, and frankly speaking… I am sick of it.
I want something more from life.
I often asked myself what I would do if I weren't a Knight. It was a question that had plagued me since my past life. There were a lot of answers that came to mind back then, so I know that I am not without options when it comes to figuring out what I want to do in place of being a Knight.
But none of that is relevant at the moment. Right now, I simply need to inform my parents of my decision before the Coming-of-Age Ceremony.
… And I need to be firm about it!
"Javier, my son… are you unwell? What are you saying right now?" My mother jumps to her feet, her bright yellow hair swaying gently, barely obscuring the worried expression she displays for me. Her jade-colored eyes are darker than Craig's, but they still shimmer with such immense concern that it gravely bothers me.
"I am fine… really."
Without warning or restraint, she draws near to me and begins to check my temperature, her jumpy body swirling around me in panicky observation.
"You can't be fine. How can you make such a statement and claim you are fine?"
"Mother!" At this point, I have no choice but to grab her hands, preventing them from touching me any further. Not only does it overwhelm me with unwanted sensations, but it also distracts from the topic at hand. "Please stop! I have already made up my mind. I just came to inform you out of courtesy for being my parents."
"J-Javier, you can't be serious. You are our Heir. You are the firstborn. What about your responsibilities? Your siblings look up to you as an example… so why would you be saying such a thing?" My mother's thin voice shakily leaves her lips, and she nearly falls as if struck by a fainting spell.
I have no choice but to hold her, but I can't help but feel very perturbed by the situation.
"Goodness… what will the other families say? What will our allies think? I have been bragging about you to my friend, Margaret, the other day. She and her daughter can't wait to meet you in three days, and yet you suddenly come and say this?"
"Mother…"
"Why are you doing this? Why do this now? Do you want to break your mother's heart? Don't you care about the family? Please don't make us upset…"
"… Stop it!" I raise my voice mildly, letting my mother go once I guide her towards the bed.
My brows furrow in annoyance now.
"What exactly are you trying to do? You make it seem like I'm intentionally trying to harm you or the family when I am simply making a decision based on how I would like to live. And don't act like I could have said anything sooner. All the pressure and training, everything you put me through has been to ensure that I had no choice in the matter and only exist to be the family's heir and a noble Knight of our Household."
My mother is distraught after hearing me speak. She places her hand on her lips, glancing at my silent father in worry. Her eyes plead with me to stop, but I won't.
This is scary…
It is very heart-wrenching for me.
But if I can't overcome this barrier, how can I hope to change anything in the future?
I need to live as an example of the words that I imparted to my brother. So what if I am resented for my decision? In the end, I will choose to live however I please!
"I… we can't accept this, Javier!"
"I didn't come here for permission. I have already made my choice. I just decided to inform you out of courtesy—"
"Such nonsense…" My father's voice suddenly echoes in the room, thunderously rendering all other voices moot. His overpowering presence dominates the space, forcing all attention to focus on him. "I thought you were grown, but it seems I was wrong. You still cling to these childish thoughts even at this age? What utter nonsense."
My father slowly rises to his feet, revealing his tall frame.
His dark hair is smoothly combed, though I can see the streaks of gray. His eyes reflect the same color as mine, but that is where our similarities end. That callous, aged gaze is something I could never fully muster in all my life.
I have always prided myself on being a tall man. In my prime, I was 6'3 in height, though currently I am only 5'11 or so. Still, for anyone my age, I am well above average.
But that is nothing compared to this man.
He easily sports a height of 6'5, and his muscular body gives him an air of intimidation that would cause many to falter or lose breath over. Even my body shakes while I face him, revealing several instincts that my younger self possesses.
Do not get me wrong. I am no longer afraid of my father.
I have grown too old to have such emotions within me. Even the deep love and admiration I once possessed for my parents has grown tainted due to the passage of time. The emotional abuse and torture I had to undergo just so I could be fit as an Heir for the Aditi Household are things I do not want to recollect.
However, I do not hold resentment for them in my heart.
They did what they thought was right in their hearts, and they did it all for the family.
I can tell that, despite their forceful attitude towards their children, they bear love—or, at the very least, no ill-will—towards us.
'They were probably raised the same way they raised us. That explains a lot, since I also raised my future children using their method…' A sad smile plays on my face unconsciously. 'The scare tactics, the imposition of guilt and shame, and burdening me with the responsibility of an entire Household, even from an early age… everything was to prevent me from actually having a say in the matter or making a choice until it was too late.'
No more! I refuse to be shackled by such barriers any longer!
"Why are you smiling, Javier?" My father asks me with a mild frown. "Does it please you to distress your mother or upset me? Have you grown so bored without training that you feel the next step of action is to provoke your parents with such drivel?"
"It is not drivel, fath—"
"Silence. I am still speaki—!"
"I said it is not drivel, father!" I make my voice louder than his and ensure I finish my words.
I will not be overshadowed by this man, not anymore.
"Everyone has their own path in life. All my life, I have walked down the path set out for me by you two, by the family… and I no longer desire it. I am tired of the sword, of the endless days of training, and the endless fighting that awaits me as a Knight. It isn't a life I will enjoy, and if that is the case, then how is it a life worth living?"
"You cheeky brat…" My father's scowl intensifies. "When did you learn to talk back to me?"
I shake my head in silence.
My mother silently weeps in the corner, her sobbing voice echoing in my ears. Guilt pricks my heart. That, and the intensity of my father's gaze, nearly tears apart the resolve I have mustered for this event.
But I remain steadfast and firm.
"Javier Aditi… you will return to your room and have your rest. In three days, you will have your Coming-of-Age Ceremony, where your enrollment into the Knight Academy will be announced, and this will be the last time I hear of this absurd nonsense." My father makes the decision for me and takes a step forward, further increasing his large shadow, which has covered me.
My head hangs on my shoulders as I once again absorb my surroundings, doing everything I can to distract myself and not stare into his cold, yet fiery eyes.
"Is that understood? If you understand, then apologize to your mother and leave us."
Silence stretches in the room, and I bite my lips in silent regret while clenching my fists until my fingers whiten.
What did I expect from these two?
That they would listen to me and understand where I am coming from?
No chance!
My parents are set in their ways, and it doesn't matter how I explain it to them… they will never understand.
No, even if they do… they won't accept it.
'There is no use, after all…' I sigh helplessly, finally unclenching my fists once the realization sets in.
"I'm sorry, mother…"
As I say this, my mother's eyes brighten up, and she looks at me with relieved eyes.
"Javier…" Her voice trails, and my father scoffs silently.
It's a shame I have to disappoint both of them.
But I have no regrets.
"… And I'm sorry, father." I proceed, finally raising my gaze to lock eyes with my father.
He is very displeased! His glare is obvious.
If looks could kill, I would have fallen a thousand times over with the kind of stare he gives me.
But… strangely enough, it isn't as scary as I remember.
No, it isn't scary at all.
"I have already made my decision… and I refuse to be moved."