I leave my parents' room not too long after my bold declaration.
None of them said a word to me on my way out, but their expressions did all the talking for them, so I already know this isn't the end of it.
As the door gently closes behind me, I can hear muffled conversations between my father and mother—or rather, a one-sided berating speech the old man hurls at her.
"You stupid woman! How did you raise your son? Look at how he talks back at me! See how disrespectful he has become because of your spoiling! What an ingrate! After spending so much time and resources nurturing that useless, talentless boy, this is how he repays me? I don't even blame him, I blame you! If you raised him right… If you taught him the right manners, he wouldn't turn out this way! Or is it my fault that I expect greatness from my seed? But look! It seems your child will be the ruin of my great Household! Tch… was it a mistake to have chosen you as my bride? All your children are problematic…"
Just listening to those words triggers me.
This isn't the first time I have heard my father talk like this. In fact, I have grown so desensitized to it that my expression doesn't change despite realizing just how harsh and unfair he is being to my mother.
Anytime any of us made a mistake, my father would often turn around to blame my mother.
He would call us our mother's children.
However, whenever we achieved something great or received praise and recognition from outsiders, he would laugh very proudly and only then address us as his seed.
Such an attitude made me want to work very hard to gain his approval in the past.
Ever since I was a child, I would seek out many ways to win his love and attention. I would try everything I could so he wouldn't dismiss me, but instead call me his own and recognize my worth.
But now? Things are different.
His words no longer move me at all. But…
"… This is very vexing." I whisper under my breath and cast a glance at the door.
Frankly, I feel the need to return to their room and stop the conversation.
But to what end? My mother will surely side with my father, and I will remain the enemy in the eyes of both of them. Besides, right now, I am nothing but a powerless child who hasn't even been officially recognized as the Heir.
I hold no real power in the Aditi Household, so I can't change anything.
There is also the fact that my father is infinitely more powerful than I am. Even in my prime, I was unable to surpass him in strength. The same went for my siblings. No matter how hard we tried, none of us could escape that man's shadow.
Perhaps Craig could have surpassed my father, but he died before his talents could fully blossom into greatness. If he had trained a lot more during his early years, I sincerely doubt it would have taken him very long to surpass our old man.
He probably wouldn't even die on that battlefield if he had worked even a little harder.
But so what? That simply wasn't what he wanted to do.
There is no helping it…
'I'm not naive. I know fully well that this family has nurtured me all my life, and I still require the support of the family to properly live in this world. I enjoy a lot of privileges due to being a part of the Main Family, and also because of my status as Heir. Privilege often comes with responsibility. But…' My eyes narrow as I quietly walk down the hallway with Leon trailing right behind me.
'… I will decide what method I will use to repay this Household!'
There aren't many ways to secure wealth and glory in the Randalorion Kingdom, but I know of a few. As long as I leverage my position within the Household properly, I can even elevate myself and the family to greater heights.
Of course, a lot will have to change, and many will be unwilling to accept it, but this is the compromise they will have to make to accommodate progress.
'The problem is whether or not I will be allowed to seek out my own way to help the family, or whether they'll still try to enforce their standards on me.' A helpless smile forms on my face as I shake my head, not because I am worried, but because I already know the answer.
'It seems the biggest obstacle to me having the life I want is none other than my family…'
***********
Night eventually descends, and the entire Estate is engulfed in darkness.
Of course, torches light up the compound and inner walls, and there are still some minor activities going on all around the grounds. Patrol guards walk around in silence, and the night is a little more rowdy due to the preparations being made for my Coming-of-Age Ceremony. So many important guests are coming, so naturally, the Aditi Household must prepare.
I remain in my dimly-lit room, now lying on my bed after the strangest day of my life.
The first thing I did after returning from my parents' room was get a notebook and journal all the important future events that I remember. In the process of writing, I came to realize that despite my having knowledge of the future of the Kingdom, I do not know most of the details surrounding it.
For example, I know that the Randalorion Kingdom becomes engulfed in a two-year Civil War, but I have no idea how it started and how it truly ended. Such matters belong to the realm of High Nobles and Royals.
The Sarvosia Kingdom invaded barely a few months after the Civil War ended, most likely to capitalize on Randalorion's weakened state. Despite losing in the end, they managed to cripple the main source of Randalorion's wealth—its Special Resources reserves.
Due to this, the Kingdom entered a recession, and the inevitable decline began.
'We were unable to recover, and the collapse only worsened with time. Even at the point of my death, the Kingdom was still experiencing this issue, and unless something miraculous happened, there would be no stopping its ruin.'
The Randalorion Kingdom had shrunk so much in size and influence that it would eventually become indistinguishable from a Small-sized Kingdom. Based on that trend, it's clear that the Kingdom was destined to implode after a few generations or to be swallowed by one of the surrounding Mid-sized Kingdoms.
'If I remember correctly, the Great Shamahk Kingdom was already on the rise and was targeting Kingdoms in Eariel's Northwestern Region. In the end, our Kingdom would be consumed by that Large-sized Kingdom…'
None of this is strange, since this is how things are in the Eariel Continent.
Kingdoms rise and Kingdoms fall.
All my life, I was so focused on a single Mid-Rank Knight Household that I didn't realize just how small it was compared to the rest of the world.
All of this is to say that, despite coming from the future, I don't have a lot of useful information due to my lack of sufficient influence in my past life. There is no shame in admitting my limitations, and realizing this has put a lot into perspective for me.
For example… how useful knowledge is compared to honor and glory.
"If I were a Scholar, I would know a lot more than I do now. Scholars hold immense value in the Kingdom, and they are privy to so much information regarding its affairs. A lot of Scholars are even placed above Knights, and they even employ Knights under their service."
Even the Aditi Household served a lot of Scholars in the past, and that trend doesn't change in the future. Imagine training your whole life with the sword, yet you end up serving a spoiled Noble who happens to be a First-Rate Scholar.
I happened to be in several mortifying situations like this in the past, where my pride was bashed without mercy.
'Scholars have more renown, more wealth, and more influence. If I am to choose a path that allows me the freedom I desire, accompanied by the knowledge I seek, and a life without much worry… I believe being a Scholar is the right way to go.'
The mere fact that I am a sixty-five-year-old man in the body of a fifteen-year-old gives me an edge in terms of cognitive skills, so I don't think I will lose out to my peers when it comes down to becoming a Scholar.
I am certainly more suited for the academic world than a life of violence.
Since I led the Aditi Household, I have a lot of experience with administration. I also attended basic linguistics classes in the Knight Academy and received Informal Education once I was ready to take over the Estate.
I can read and write in the native language of the Randalorion Kingdom, and I am sufficiently fluent in the Nowe'aric Language—the general language of my Race.
With these serving as my foundation, as long as I work hard enough, I believe I can make it as a Scholar. Even if I am not a genius, I am very confident in my disciplined nature. Even if I do not pour it into being a Knight, I can still use it for something I actually want to accomplish.
"Javier… It's your mom." A knock suddenly interrupts my thoughts, causing my expression to darken a little. "Are you asleep? May I come in?"
I cover my body with my sheets and try to pretend like I'm asleep, but only for a moment. It doesn't take me long to realize how silly and cowardly such an act is, so I sit back up and respond to my mother's voice.
"No. You can come in."
My mother enters with a very modest gown, a scarf covering her yellow blond hair, while wearing a strained smile to hide her distraught demeanor. Her eyes are puffy, showing how much she has been crying, and she even sniffs a little upon entry.
I silently wonder what brings her to my room so late at night, but I can already guess.
I should know better already.
These people… they won't just let me make my decisions on my own.
"How are you doing? Did you have a good rest today?" My mother asks with a soft voice, slowly approaching me as if I were a deadly animal that she must be careful around.
I stare at her in silence, observing her every demeanor.
Honestly, I am tempted to feel bad for her.
My father probably told her to speak to me, which is why she is here. Even if he didn't, his rage would serve as enough motivation for her to seek me out on her own.
But… how can I feel sorry when I know that is exactly what she wants from me?
Her modest wear, her tear-filled and swollen eyes, the helplessly sad expression on her face, her cautious, pathetic gait… everything is designed to draw the greatest amount of sympathy from me. This isn't the first time I have seen my mother do this.
She hardly ever had to resort to this method for me, since I was always the obedient and filial child, but I have seen it play out with my younger brother, Craig.
He was always the black sheep, so he often had many ideas that disregarded his role in the family. He played around, chased after his passions, and—unlike me—did not care much for my father's approval.
But, somehow, he never strayed too far from the path set out for him.
The reason… was this woman!
Every time she resorted to this method of hers, without exception, Craig would back down and do as he was told. Of course, it wouldn't last forever, but he would be on his best behavior for a long period of time before his rebellion began again.
Then, all she had to do was repeat the same process, and he would be back under her leash.
Never once have I seen it fail.
'Looks like it's my turn…' I sigh silently and watch her take a seat right next to me.
"Javier, are you still the same son I carried in my womb for nine whole months? You won't even rise up from your bed to greet me. You won't ask your mother what's wrong with her. It's like you don't care what happens to me at all… " My mother laughs while staring at me with sheer disbelief, and I watch her with a calm expression.
"You… You have really changed."