A/N: sry for the delay, we had another extra exam that was moved up so I got busy, this chap os 4688 words so I owe u guys 3312 more words thx for your patience.
ps: I cooked on the programming and math exam and shat on electronics, thx for your support.
pss: no time for edits ill edit later if you find problems let me know.
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I am in hell, this is hell, NO this is worse than hell.
"remind me, what exactly are we doing here again?" I asked as I floated upside down in the air, "we're waiting for Loona's appointment" via said playing with her phone, not even looking at me. "why?" I said getting more impatient as the seconds go by, "*sigh* because she cant get her shot alone, so me and you need to look after her" she said as she looked me in the eyes, "whyyyyy? we could be doing something more exciting, hell I can fix her in a second, why are we waiting in this hellhole? and when are you going to introduce me to her, she's getting more confused by the second, at some point she's going to think you're crazy"
"look, just wait a few more minutes and if it's still not our turn we can do things your way" she said as she glanced at a tied up loona, looking at her in confusion.
"alright, ill wait but can you at least ask the receptionist how many people are in front of us"
"*sigh alright" she said as she put her phone in her bag and got up from the chair she was sitting on and approached the recieptionist "excuse me, how many people are in front of us?" the receptionist looked up and said "13 more people are in front of you, it's going to take at least 2 more hours" and then went back to doing what it was doing before, "see lets do things my way, its better anyway look how scared the poor kitten is" I said as I pointed at a shivering Loona, via thought a few seconds before relenting and taking Loona's leash and leading her out the door.
"what is going on?" asked loona as she was being led out the vet's office, at least I think its a vet's office.
"come on ill show you some thing" said via as she freed the tied up loona, she looked a bit confused before she started following via, she led us into the lime we arrived in, looked at the chuefer and said "hey, can you give us a sec?" the driver nodded before going out of the limo, she then looked at me before asking "how can I show her?" I quickly conjured a business card and gave it to her, she took it.
"wow where did that come from" loona asked shocked that the card appeared in via's hand out of nowhere "here put a drop of your blood on this" said via as she put it in loona's hand, she took it, gave it a good look before looking via in the eye and biting her finger and dropping a drop of her blood on the car, immidietly I became visible to her wich freaked her out.
====one ear bleeding screem later====
"are you calm now?" I asked annoyed at how boring today is.
"who is HE? where did he come from? was he here the entire TIME?" Loona asked panicked, understandable "if you are worried about me seeing the thing you did when got here, then you don't have to worry about me judging you" I said as I lied down on the air as it were the floor, while loona was looking more embarrassed than ever and turned to via, seeing as she was going to talk I stopped time for everyone outside.
"this here is cyn, he's my friend-" said via as I interrupted her "best friend" she looked at me with a look I cant interpret "what? it's in our contract" I said before looking at the limo roof again, which in truth seemed like that but I was watching when wolf again, "what contract? what's he talking about via? don't tell me you sold your soul" loona said worried than ever as she put her hands on via's shoulder "HEY, I take offense to that! what would I even do with a little bird's soul? that's a stereotype about us powerful demons, you know souls arent even that valuable, I can make millions of souls of varying quality and that wouldn't even make me break a sweat" seriously, what would I even do with someones soul bbq it on a grill?
"ok wow, I don't know what to say to that" said loona before looking back at via and saying "whats going on?", via sighed then said "look you remember when i took a little trip to the human world?" loona nodded, "well i found a poster about making my every wish come true, so i took it, when i got home i put a drop of blood on it and he appeared, asked what my wish was and i serriously needed a friend, things between me and you was akward so i turned to him, and he delivered"
"wow that's, *sigh* that's a lot but im glad you told me, and look things doesnt have to be akward between us, you were here for me today, so i hope you let me be there for you" loona said as she put her arm arround via, "are you two gonna fuck or what?" they both stared at me with deadpanned faces, "tough crowd, so anyway whats your wish kitten" i said as i looked at loona in the eyes, she looked at me scoffed and said "via why did you wanna be friend with this douche anyway? and what wish?" hmmm, "kitten if you wanted to be so intimate with me you couldve told me sooned" i said as i smirked, "what?" said loona and via at the same time, they looked more confused than ever.
"you know what a douche is right?" i said as i continued smilling, "yeas/of course" they said pretending to know "yeah i thought as much, who are the wittle cute birdie and kitty, of course you are pft, hahaha "i said as i made fun of them, they looked annoyed, oh i found my new favorite hobby, messin with these two "look im not gonna explain everything but basically a douche is a tool you stick up your ass" i said as a made twirling gesture with my finger, as they both grimiced and blushed and said "why would you do that???"
"im not your daddy pft, i dont have to explain the birds and the bees to you, althou if you call me daddy i might" i said as i kept laughing and they kept blushing
after i calmed down i looked at loona and said "jokes aside the reason you are able to see me is becuase you summoned me for a wish, that was the only way, so whats ur wish kitten?" well the only way you would have been your self anyway.
"you can grant any wish?" she asked intrested "of course, what do you want, a boy or a girl to fall for you? power? or the secrets of the universe ask and it shall be yours, and the only catch is that i will give you a price based on your wish" i said as i started tempting her, she started thinking before saying "i dont need anything specific, could you give me the same contract you gave octavia?"
i stared at her, "really? thats it? dont you want anything else?" she looked at me confused before saying "uh no?" sigh, this fuckin multiverse "deal, sign here" i said as i conjured the same contract i gave via, she read it before signing.
i started sulking as i laid down at the floor of the limo, "whats wrong?" they asked as they saw me sulk, "oh nothin, its just that I've been turned into a glorified imaginary friend, do you have any idea how powerful I am?"
"I imagine very powerful, from what you told me" said via as she started thinking about it, "come on, how powerful could he be at most he will be on the same level as lucifer" said loona as she gave a smug look to via
"hahahaha, that was one of the funniest things I've ever heard" I said as I stated laughing my ass off, at some point I saw the seroiuse face they had and asked "you weren't serious were you? i mean come on you cant expect me to belive you think I'm on the same level as lucifer" I said as I stated hovering in the air.
"duh" said loona as she gave a look to via and stared at me, "look outside" I said completely serious. they opened the limo door and went outside, I followed.
"whats going on?" asked via as she started looking around at everyone and everything frozen in place, "I froze time, duhhhhh" I said as I looked loona in the eye, "this entire time, time as been stoped, even your "strong" and "powerful" lucifer is frozen" I said as I hovered higher in the air, "I have conquered universes for fun, I could kill every being in this universe with a thought, you can read all about it in this pamflet" I said as I conjured a small pamflet and gave it to them, it read:
@#$@@%$^!@!$!??!'s most famous quotes:
"Attention please! Time is a joke, physics is temporary, panic responsibly, GOODNIGHT!"
"Surprise! Free will is a glitch, fate is pay-to-win, invest in chaos"
"BREAKING NEWS! You're a simulation, I'm the admin, refunds are denied, SO LONG!"
"The laws of nature are written in pencil. I brought an eraser.:
"All of reality balances on a number that isn't supposed to exist. When it changes, so will you."
"Your brain is a soft-boiled supercomputer pretending to be a person."
page 1 - page 2 - ... - page 666
"what are these supposed to be anyway, and why's your names all gibberish?" asked loona not convinced of my greatness. "those are not only quotes but facts, to me anyway, for example I can change reality as easy as pie. and my names all gibberish cause you cant read it duhh, if you know my name it will shatter your soul" I said looking smugg. "I dont buy it, how can you be as powerful as you claim, nature needs balance, if it gave you this much power it would have put an equal amount of limitations, and why would a name shatter our souls?" said loona still not accepting my words.
"oh nature sure loves its limitations, but its not nature persay, well not like you need to know the specifics anyways, listen kids cause I'm gonna lay some grade A octane knowledge down, when powerful beings are born they have limitations, such as not being able to go to a multiverse at all and that's why they create avatars, and even then the avatars cant co down to a world until let in by an inhabitant, and even then they cant use all their power, but I'm different my limitation is more mental than power based, I cant feel ANYTHING I'm stuck in this godamn second dimension, so it takes a toll on my psyche, but I can be freed, and I'm going to, very soon" I said ominsoly as my red eye started showing different scenes, a dead angel, a crucified old man, an skeleton in the sky singing, and me in my cartoon form.
"as for the name thing, names have power If you say the name of a higher being they will notice, although many of them are lazy and sensing you to be insignificant will ignore you, but there is a group of higher begins so powerful, even saying their name can shatter someones soul if their soul isn't strong enough, which by the way yours isn't"
at this point they looked slightly terrified, which is good better they have a wake up call and dont underestimate me.
"anything else?", they looked scared and hurriedly said "No!"
"good, now lets get to why we skipped the clinic" i said as possessed via and snapped then released my control "your hellvies? hellbees? shot whatever the fuck its called is done, and you dont need one in the feature, your welcome"
"wow thanks, that's nice of you" she said as she looked at her body, "well, what now?" i said as they both looked at each other and asked "shopping?" before nodding to each other and looked at me, sigh i unpuased time as they started walking towards the mall near the clinic.
====and eternity later====
this is worse than the clinic, i was wrong that wasn't hell, this is.
ITS BEEN 4 FUCKIN HOURS!! and they still arent done, they bought so maaaany clothes, if it weren't for the poor driver carrying their bag it would take even longer, honestly my respect for the poor guy is through the roof, i can literally feel his misery, its almost as bad as the misery i feel but he hasn't complained once his face is in a constant poker face state.
"how much longer?" i asked the girls tired as they tried on different bikinis, "i dont get why you are whining, two beautiful girls are asking your opinion on what bikini should they wear" loona said as she tried a new one "why are you even buying bikinis? the nearest body of water is 2 circles down" i said as i picked up the 2 sign score above my head, loona and via grmiced before trying another, "how do you even know that?" asked via as she got underessed treating me like air.
"oh I know lots of things"
"like?" asked loona, "well, I am a GOD, if you didn't know and my Domains of power are but not limited to knowledge, chaos, nightmares, time, space, clairvoyance, souls, perception, mischief, music, ciphers, etc there's too many to name, if I were to name them ill be speaking for half an hour, anyway back to your question because I have a particularly strong influence and talent in my knowledge domain, I automatically know Everything, but as I'm not a native of this multiverse my domain is taking its time connecting to this realm", they looked at me with a mix of awe and terror that was strangely satisfying? "YOU'RE A GOD?" asked loona flabergasted.
"yes" I said as I picked up the 5 sign score above my head, "why? i don't look like a god? that's racist, you mortals think we gods all look alike" I said in contempt for this kind of thinking, "no we don't!" they both said in a hurry like they were going to be "canceled", "yes you do, imagine what the god in heaven would like, I bet you think of a kind old man with a grey or white beard, that wears white or grey" they started thinking about it and unconsuously nodded "that's not god, that's gandalf the grey" they looked at me in confusion, via asked "who's gandalf the grey?"
"your universe needs better filmmakers and writers, you are seriously uncultured, all your movies are cliche trash" I said as picked up the 9 sign score above my head while conjuring another sign that read "rotten triangle score: -666" they gave me a weird look before trying another bikini.
====mean while in another place in hell====
3rd POV:
(A/N: FYI this is AU)
??? was in a lift that was going up while flipping a coin in the air before catching it and repeating, as lift reaches the top of the building and opens, ??? can see other demons coming out of other lifts, he can see Alastor, Zestial and an egg? walk out. ??? watches as other Overlords come out of other lifts and go into another room, he follows and sits on a chair, The overlord sitting next to Alastor turns to look at ???, he stares. She smiles widely at him, showing her pointed, knife-like teeth. ??? doesn't react as Carmilla Carmine walks to the head of the table and says "Welcome, Hell's sovereign overlords. I've invited you all here because you represent the controlling powers of our city. Together, you own millions of souls. Souls at risk with the new Extermination schedule" she pounds her fist on table and continues " We need to discuss what can be done to minimize the impact to our interest, but before that let me introduce our newest member, The Smiling Overseer" the overlords apluad, ??? nods his head.
Carmilla then turns to zestial "Zestial, so good to see you, my friend" Zestial summons a teacup and saucer "Enchanted as always, Carmilla", she then notices Alastor "Alastor?", he turns to her and says "Yes, I know I've been absent some time. I'm sure you've all been wondering!"
"...Not reallyv But welcome back in any case" she says as Alastor narrows his eyes and looks offended in Carmilla's general direction, she continues "This year's Extermination was brutal, far more even than years past. We have assessed that about 16% of the population was lost" *slide is projected onto the wall behind her* "With the angelic legions now returning twice as quickly, I think it prudent we-" Carmilla is interrupted as Velvette opens the door and walks in, on the phone "Yes, I've got it handled, Vox. Are you doubting me? Really? Me? That's what I thought. *laughs* Yes, I know. They're all a joke.*laughs* Thank you, V. See you soon. Kisses, darling" says velvette as she hangs up and sits down at the opposite end to Carmilla "Nice of you to join us, Velvette. Will your... colleagues be joining?" as she scrutenize velvette, "No! They have better shit to do than to listen to an old windbag who thinks she's tough shit. I'm here to represent" says velvette as she fiddles with her phone
"Charming. So, as I was saying, we need to discuss-" Carmilla continues before she stops talking as Velvette waves her hand in the air "Yes?" she asks, "On the subject of discussion..." velvette says before she takes out the head of an Exorcist and throws it onto the table. The other overlords look at it and mutter to each other none noticing the color change of the fire under The Smiling Overseer's smiling mask, "Holy shit!" says zeezi, "Oh! Tasty... " says Alastor, Carmilla narrows eyes and says "Where did you get this?"
"We found it during Extermination day. If these Holy Rollers can be killed, the game has changed" says velvette before she stands on top of table "We can take the fight to them. The boys and I have come up with a full assault plan--" velvette tries to continue before being interrupted, she and the other overlords look at Zestial, who is sipping his tea loudly and aggressively to drown out Velvette "If it be true thee and thy colleagues desire to war with such meagre proof, thou art far more... foolish than I bethought." says Zestial
Velvette scoffs and says "Meagre proof? It's a dead fucking Exorcist. I'd say that's pretty fucking definitive. You going blind, old man?" zestial looks umoved as he replies "We know not how this perished. Mayhaps t'was not by a demon's hand at all. If we rush to war without knowing, mightn't they purge all of Hell for daring an uprising?" The other overlords mutter in agreement. Velvette notices Carmilla's expression and smiles
"Oh, I get it. So Grandpa is too pussy to fight, so I guess there's no point, right? " velvette says as she gets up in Zestial's face "Oh, what's the matter, Fossil? Too senile to make a real power grab for-" she tries to taunt, Right before she could continue, Carmilla starts to get into her face, expressing outrage while singing.
Carmilla Carmine: ♪ You better show some respect! Check your behavior! no one speaks to Zestial that way! ♪
♪ Did you expect us to sit back and take your, insolent brazen display? ♪
Velvette: *laughs* ♪ You got it twisted, I'm not the one who needs a new attitude! ♪
The Smiling Overseer tilts his head/
♪ Maybe you missed it, but I'm that #Bitch and I will do nothing less than what I please, whoo! ♪
♪ I'm the backbone of the Vees, ♪
♪ Mad that I acted respectless? Well, it's cause no one could respect this! ♪
she walks across table as she continues singing.
♪ Sorry, group attendin'! Since when are Overlords too scared to fight? ♪
♪ You're long past trending! Sorry, bae, but I ain't swiping right! You've lost your relevance- ♪
Zestial: ♪ We can't act without more intelligence. ♪
Velvette: ♪ Ugh! No wonder I'm so respectless, I could eat you lot for breakfast! ♪
Carmilla Carmine: ♪ You and the Vees are inane and uninformed! ♪
♪ Smug wannabes who don't heed when you've been warned! ♪
the yellow fire beneath The Smiling Overseer's mask intensifies.
Velvette: ♪ 'Oops!' Did I strike a nerve? ♪
♪ 'Cause when I brought out the angel's head ♪
she throws head across table
♪ couldn't help but observe, that your wrinkled face was turning red! ♪
♪ And why are you avoiding war? That's what the guns you sell are for! Thanks to my being respectless, one thing I'm starting to suspect is ♪
she gets in Carmilla's face
♪ You know why this angel's headless! Do you have a disclosure? ♪
Carmilla Carmine: ♪ This meeting's over! ♪
Both Carmine and Velvette glare at each other. The other overlords are all staring at Carmilla and Velvette. Alastor finally decides to break the silence "That was a producti--" but gets interrupted by laughter.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" The Smiling Overseer starts laughing uncontrollably, shaking, "is something wrong?" Alastor asks as his smile intensifies, The mask of The Smiling Overseer falls and the overlords get a good look at him, a body wearing an expensive dark suit, that has a yellow fire with another smaller baseball size cyan fireball inside it, "nothing its just, you don't know the favor you just for did me, pft hahaha" he says before he starts laughing again, "I don't recall doing YOU a favor" says Alastor, "haha, not you, those to idiots" said The Smiling Overseer as he pointed at velvette and carmilla.
"us?" they asked in union, "yes but before we get to that" The Smiling Overseer said as he picked the angel head using telekenisis and made it drip a drop of blood on the fire that was his head, he then tossed the head aside, "what art thou doing?" asked zestial as he tilted his head.
"do you have ANY IDEA what an idiotic thing you were doing?" The Smiling Overseer asked as he started laughing again, velvette had enough so she asked "WHATS SO FUCKIN FUNNY?"
"before I tell you anything, this singing thing of yours, does everyone here do it?" The Smiling Overseer asked as a he looked at the overlords amused, "yes?, singing helps thee empower thy soul, which can help thee in battle, every competent demon or angel sings to empower thyself with the help of music" says zestial as he takes a sip of his tea.
"why are we even entertaining this fuck head, his a new overlord, he cant be talkin like this in front of us, are all of you like this old man a pussy" velvette said as she wrapped her hands in her power, "oh my mistake, but this isn't The Smiling Overseer" as he said that all the overlords in the room felt and ominus dread, the windows backend as the light in the room dimmed, "what is the meaning of this?" asked carmilla as her daughters got behind her.
"nothing, it just funny to me" he said as he made the smiling mask fall into his hand, "and pray tell what is funny" said alastor, "hmm, you seem like an intelligent one, tell me do you sing as well?"
"yes?" answered alastor feeling like there was something wrong, "well, you see the funny thing is that in my long life, I have never seen people who cripple themselves" at his words the overlords felt a mix of terror and confusion, "who are you?" asked one of carmilla's daughters before she could stop her, "who I am is not relevant to you, I was merely passing time, until I saw something interesting through my servants eyes, tell me how does it feel?"
"how what feels, prick?" asked velvette not liking where this was going, "how the power it gives you feel, how it "empowers" you as you say" he said cryptically, "uh good?" said a random overlord, "of course, what would a bunch of naive sinners know"
"well what do you know that we don't?" asked velvette feeling irritated, "I suppose, you gave me a good laugh so I can share this with you, seeing as you say everyone empowers themselves by singing, not even the most powerful here are aware of this fact" he was said as he walked towards the window, the darkness receded, "every power has a root, some are a mix of multiple roots, roots are simpler words for concepts, a power that physically empowers you is connected to the concept of strength, or speed, or another, depends on how you use it, the simpler the concept the more power it gives, to tap into a concept you need mastery over that power, talent, proper guidance or knowledge, begins that can tap into concept are feared and revered everywhere, even outside this little multiverse, one thing spacial about concepts are that if you gain proper access to one, they will sing on the users mood, they can sing anything, a melody, a song you know or an unknown song you have never heard of, the point is every single idiot out there knows that you are not supposed to take power from music, it has disastrous consequences, the power music holds none are worthy to use, unless it premits it" he then gave look to the overlords.
"you imbeciles used music as a medium to empower your self, which basically means you half baked a half baked concept" the overlords gave him a confused stare "if a cripple had a concept and he could use 0.0001 % of its power you imbeciles can use one fourth of that, which basically ain't shit, and the super funny part is you took the power, the music didn't give it to you, you took it, so trust me when I say it isn't going to allow you to wield a concept"
"what do we even need these concepts for?, we are already part of the most powerful" said velvette looking smug, The Smiling Overseer looked at her and said "the thing is" he got closer to her "if someone has a concept he can kill all of you with a blink of an eye, seeing how you sang and used your phone your power must be connected to the concept of influence, quit a powerful concept, I happen to have it too, go ahead ... try to use your power on me" he opened his arms wide while waiting for velvette.
velvette tried to use her power on him, but nothing happened at all, she felt like when she was a powerless human, "see? this is the problem with what you have done, you rely on a power any one can take away, OH BOY, this is going to be sooo much easier than I thought, honestly by your looks alone I can guess what concepts you are tied to, lets see entertainment, mafia, mystique, party, cannabalism, noble, wrym" he said as he looked at them one by one "I have the entertainment which covers party too, I have dragon which is superior to wrym, mystique and noble, I also have the emperor which covers mafia, I have the demon which also covers cannabalism" he said as all color drained from theoverlords, even alastors smile faltered a little "oh I can smell that delightful brand of feer, the type that only those who consider themselves the most powerful feel, even if I didn't have those concepts I have more powerful ones but don't worry, I don't care about you little ants" he said as he snapped and dissapered.
"WHAT. THE. FUCK"