San Shier raised both hands innocently, looking for all the world like a man wrongfully accused of stealing steamed buns.
"General Cheng, how could I possibly deceive you? Truly—there is no city here."
Cheng Xu, Deputy Commander of the provincial garrison, a man whose beard bristled like a hedgehog in armor, jabbed a finger at the massive wall directly before him and roared:
"No city? Open your dog eyes! That's a blasted city wall the size of a mountain! You dare fart nonsense at me? Believe it or not, I'll cut you down right this moment!"
San Shier's knees wobbled. He had dealt with scholars, farmers, and even rice smugglers. But a military attaché with a knife already half out of its sheath?
That was another matter entirely.
Yet every word he spoke now came straight from Tianzun's divine command. He did not dare disobey.So he forced himself forward, plastered on a confused expression, and muttered:
"General Cheng… did you perhaps oversleep and bump your head? There truly isn't any city wall."
"FUCK!"
Cheng Xu's steel saber flashed out with a crisp shing.
At that precise moment, Li Daoxuan—watching from the sky above—sighed.Enough was enough.
He slipped his phone into the miniature world, suspended it behind the officers and soldiers, and played the audio he had prepared specifically for this sort of crisis:
"WaaAAaaahh… Heeheehee… HAaaHahaa… Toot—ohhehehehe…"
A woman's ghostly laughter—thick, warped, and unnervingly wet—echoed behind Cheng Xu's troops.
The effect was instant.
General Cheng's saber clattered to the ground. He whipped around so fast his helmet almost flew off.
His men turned too, wide-eyed, hands trembling on bowstrings and spear shafts.
Behind them, the wind kicked up yellow dust, swirling into a wall of sand. Nothing moved. There was no woman, no ghost, no anything.
"What was that just now?"
"Who laughed?!"
"Grandma above… that sound wasn't… a ghost… was it?"
Li Daoxuan quickly snatched the phone back into the clouds.
With all eyes turned away, he struck. One hand darted in, removing the entire Lego-built city wall from the diorama and plucking up the bucket-sized water reservoir. From Gaojia Village's perspective, divine forces were sucking objects into heaven—the scene was so dramatic several villagers almost fainted.
Once the props were removed, Li Daoxuan patted the sand off his hands and reclined comfortably to observe round two.
The officers and soldiers searched behind them for a long while, found nothing, grew increasingly unnerved, and finally turned back toward San Shier—
—and froze solid.
Their mouths opened. Their eyes bulged.
After more than ten seconds, Cheng Xu croaked:
"Wh… where… WHERE IS THE CITY WALL?! It— it was right here! A huge wall! Two zhang high! Don't tell me none of you saw it! You ALL saw it!"
San Shier finally understood Tianzun's plan and confidence blossomed inside him like a wicked flower.He masked it with a puzzled frown.
"General Cheng… what city wall? There has never been one. Never. This place is called 'Flat Earth As Always.'"
Cheng Xu howled, almost tearing his beard off.
"I swear, on my ancestors' graves! There WAS a wall! A giant wall! Two zhang high! And after that cursed woman laughed— it vanished! It vanished!"
His voice cracked.
His men looked equally broken. They had seen the wall. But they also did not see it now. Which meant either:
A) They were insane.B) The world was insane.C) Something supernatural was happening and none of them were paid enough to deal with it.
San Shier leaned forward with the smile of an old mountain demon coaxing a lost traveler:
"General… perhaps you are under too much pressure chasing Wang Er's bandits. Why not come into Gaojia Village, rest for the night, refresh your spirit… and tomorrow, resume the chase?"
He licked his lips with exaggerated slowness.
Cheng Xu's face drained of blood.
His gaze drifted past San Shier toward Gaojia Village—where villagers knelt in dust, worshipping something unseen…where piles of strange materials lay around…and where, moments ago, a ghostly woman had laughed loud enough to rattle his armor.
In that moment, Cheng Xu realized a terrible truth:
This village was haunted. Cursed.A place where ghosts cooked porridge and demons carved city walls.If he entered, he would die. Immediately.
He shuddered violently.
"What a damned evil place… I— I think I just saw my great-grandmother waving at me. I'm NOT going in. No. No no no NO—"
He spun around and bolted.
Three steps later, he skidded back, grabbed his saber from the sand, sheathed it, turned, and ran again.
Then he remembered his horse.Ran back.Mounted.Spurred the beast forward.
He made three frantic loops before finding the correct direction and thundering off across the wasteland, screaming:
"I'M GOING TO FIND WANG ER! I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE HERE! GRANDMA, STOP CALLING ME—I'M NOT READY TO JOIN YOU—!"
The deputy inspector and a hundred soldiers stared after him, stunned.
Then San Shier leaned forward, smiling like a carnivorous fox:
"Well? Aren't you going to follow your general? Or… would you rather stay as guests of Gaojia Village? Hehe… hehehe…"
"NOOOOOOO!"
They scattered—running for their lives, tripping over each other, some dropping helmets, others boots.Within moments, the entire troop vanished in a cloud of dust.
San Shier threw his hands on his hips and burst into triumphant laughter.
"Hah! Your surname Cheng—didn't you look down on me before? Surprised now, aren't you? HAHAHAHAHA!"
From above, Li Daoxuan called down:
"They're gone. Yiye, tell the villagers to step back. I'm lowering the wall."
Gao Yiye relayed the order.People fled respectfully, trembling in awe.
Moments later, the massive city wall descended from the heavens like a divine artifact returning to earth—settling perfectly into place.
Even Blacksmith Li's cylindrical house drifted down afterward, floating gently into its original position.
The villagers, old and new alike, watched the descent with collapsed jaws.
Today, they had seen the true power of Dao Xuan Tianzun.
And none would ever forget it.