Dao Xuan Tianzun's grand temple was rising day by day.
Ever since Tianzun had toyed with the provincial officers like a bored god flicking ants, the newly arrived villagers were shocked into wholehearted devotion. Overnight, they transformed from regular peasants into zealots who would happily work themselves half-dead for their god.
And once a person begins laboring for their faith…well, they become terrifyingly efficient.
For six days straight, Gaojia Village was ablaze with industry.Today marked the seventh.
Blistering Noon
The sun above was venomous—truly poisonous.The temperature was crawling toward 40°C again.
Li Daoxuan had just leaned over the edge of the diorama, preparing to check on the tiny villagers' progress, when Gao Yiye shouted up from below:
"Tianzun! The two sculptor-uncles request an audience!"
"Let them speak," Li Daoxuan replied calmly—but inside, he grinned.
It was finally time.
The two sculptors approached, knelt deeply, kowtowed, and reported:
"Tianzun, both your clay image and the wooden statue of Sun Wukong you asked us to carve have been completed and are ready for painting."
"Excellent."
Li Daoxuan had been waiting for this.
He dropped a small square of aluminum foil into the box, then used a straw to pull up a minuscule bead of red paint—no larger than 5 millimeters—dripping it onto the foil.
To the sculptors, that same droplet landed like a three-inch sphere of crimson lacquer, bursting open with a strange wet splack! They shivered at its divine power.
The sculptors leaned close. One touched the paint with a stick, sniffed, and sighed:
"So this is heavenly lacquer! Far finer than mortal lacquer."
Indeed, traditional Ming-era lacquer peeled easily and required tung oil afterward to shine.
Meanwhile, Daoxuan's "divine lacquer" was a modern 15-yuan polymer paint—bright, durable, glossy, and needing no tung oil at all. Its brilliance shamed Ming lacquer as utterly as a greasy middle-aged man's forehead shames a washbasin.
The sculptors studied it only twice before concluding reverently:
"This is celestial paint—no mortal hand could craft such colors."
"Red for now. I'll give you green and blue next."
He dropped another two beads—just enough for their scale.
In the early days, Daoxuan had been careless and thrown entire eggs or huge items into the diorama, wasting resources. Now he had mastered micro-delivery.
The sculptors trembled in excitement.
In the Ming era, they had only three to five dull colors to work with; gold lacquer, especially, was so precious that estate stewards hoarded it, allowing sculptors to touch it only under supervision.
But here?The Heavenly Venerable casually gifted them more gold paint than they had ever seen.
They eagerly dipped their brushes and began painting the Supreme Classic Edition Sun Wukong, blissful as children given an entire candy shop.
Heatstroke under the Scorching Sun
Leaving them to their work, Li Daoxuan shifted his gaze toward the laborers building the temple.
Just then, he noticed a villager stagger and nearly collapse. Another caught him just in time.
"Heatstroke?"
Of course.July. Severe drought. Blazing noon.People working under direct sunlight—it would be strange not to have heatstroke.
San Shier rushed over, calling for water from the pond. Villagers gathered around the collapsed man in a panic.
Li Daoxuan felt a pang of guilt.
Time to help.
He hurried to his refrigerator, pulled out a box of ice, then plucked out a single chunk of crushed ice and lowered it gently into the diorama.
Villagers were preparing a wet cloth to cool the heatstroke victim when—
A giant block of ice descended from the sky.
They froze, then gasped:
"Heaven has bestowed ICE!"
Someone immediately froze the wet cloth directly on the block; others chipped off ice and dropped pieces into a bowl of water, feeding cold water to the stricken man.
After a few minutes, his breathing steadied.
Li Daoxuan exhaled in relief.
But helping one wasn't enough—others might collapse too.
So he did what any modern man would do:
He made… miniature iced Coke.
He chipped off some ice, placed it in a bottle cap, then opened a bottle of Coke and poured it in.
Fizz!
A miniature pool of ice-cold Coke was ready.
He lowered it into the diorama.
The Birth of Fat House Happy Water
The villagers gaped at the pool of bubbling brown liquid, chilled by a man-sized ice block sitting in the middle.
"What… is this?"
"Never seen anything like it."
"It smells sweet—there's sugar!"
"Sugar?!"
"But it's bubbling strangely. Could it be poison?"
"How dare you! When has Tianzun ever poisoned us? Watch your tongue!"
"Someone beat him!"
"Wait wait—I was wrong! I didn't mean it!"
The scene devolved into chaos, with everyone forgetting the heatstroke patient entirely.
Gao Yiye stepped forward:
"Enough. No fighting. Tianzun says this is called Fat House Happy Water. Drinking it cools the body."
The villagers cheered and rushed to the "pool," scooping Coke in their hands and drinking it like divine nectar.
"Ah!"
"Cough cough cough!"
"It's so spicy! But… strangely refreshing."
"I feel so happy!"
"No wonder it's called Happy Water. But… what does Fat House mean?"
All eyes turned to San Shier, the resident scholar.
San Shier cleared his throat importantly:
"'Fat' means big. 'House' means home. 'Fat House' together means a big household. Thus, Fat House Happy Water is heavenly water that brings happiness to the entire household. This is the secret of the Immortal Realm."
The villagers nodded in awe.
"As expected of Third Master—so learned!"
San Shier laughed proudly, then filled a large teacup with Coke and gulped it down.
He immediately squinted, coughed, gagged—and then grinned.
"Strong taste! But… refreshing! Happy!"
The heatstroke victim, long forgotten, croaked weakly:
"Has… everyone… abandoned me…?"
"Oh right! Quick, give him some too!"
"No!" Gao Yiye barked. "Tianzun says those with heatstroke must drink plain water first. Only after recovery may they taste the Happy Water."
The collapsed villager whimpered:
"So… I'm not worthy… of Tianzun's blessing…?"
His head lolled dramatically to the side.
"BROTHER, DON'T DIE!"
They rushed to him—only to find he was pretending.
Everyone burst into laughter.
"He's already lively enough to fake death! He must be fine. Come on—give him one tiny sip!"
"HAHAHA—hic—so… happy…"
And thus, Fat House Happy Water became the most sacred and beloved beverage in all of Gaojia Village.