I am bored and melancholy about life. The stagnation of the phone has begun hard as we all are busy with going to our destined paths. For the Rich and Groomed, as my Broke Machivelli always joked bittersweetly about, I'm going to College.
It's Military School actually, but he wasn't wrong. My dad doesn't like the Faux Politician, the Faux Psychologist, whatever they call him this time. They basically had debates so hard in front of me, I am convinced he only hung out with me sometimes to debate my Father because he considered him someone worth politically manipulating. Because he's an Arms Dealer for America and many other nations.
Though he did illegally love me to my family. He basically was a secret boyfriend at one point. Which made Father ban him harder. He's currently messaging me on a discord account called FuckboyMachivelli.
"So you gonna hang out with me if I come out to your college? You're gonna be a soldier now, you gonna let your dad keep you on his leash?" He teases with sadistic lust.
I am offended so hard, I feel an urge to do a break up again immediately. For myself this time.
"I have never let my father control me, you fucking douche. I hate you now." I snap angrily.
"Oh whatever. What if I came over and gave you a massage and thera-" he says seductively.
I end his voice message early, and mute him. I think about life again. As I have like, a girlfriend I'm enjoying. A lot. Probably. I dunno. She does memes at me that annoy me.
"Sex isn't real. Just deal with it. I'm only a cuddler. We can have a baby if we spoon long enough, just deal with it." Christina says with amused seriousness.
"What? Why? You're so mean." I say sadly.
She is so hot. She's tanned, like six feet tall. Nice fit muscles cause she's been trained like me, we're both groomed like Broke Machivelli says. He's not, he's chubby and annoying cause he's not as hot as us, let alone herself. But I'm like, Godly levels of hot with my soldier physique.
But fuck, he actually sucked my dick before. A lot. I at least had sex with him. A lot. It's sad to me that I miss him more cause I had a sex life with him.
So it began around noon today, a long lecture with my father. Which Jacob Hemlock, Fuckboy Machivelli, Broke Machivelli, whatever he calls himself this time, is getting groomed by my Father.
My father is a few inches taller than me, at 5'11. While I'm 5'8. He wears a blue business man suit with white stripes, and a black and red tie. He and I look very similar in the face, so it's basically the same basics. We both have diamond jawlines, black hair, blue eyes.
Our hairstyles are different though. He has a short black haircut with vaguely spiky hair he claims he doesn't use hair gel on. And a moustache and goatee.
I meanwhile, am having no facial hair with a shoulder length's worth of my hair. With a blue ball cap on, a brown and black hoodie that's my ex-boyfriend's honestly. He left it here and refused to ever come get it. Which is what begins this lecture honestly, but before that, lemme finish my outfit.
Half red, half black pants. And black sneakers.
"So I can't help but notice you still have your ex's hoodie on. It's time to remind you as always, you're ungroomed by that fucking prick. It's time to begin. We are republican. Here is why: First of all, taxes are bad." he lectures seriously, annoyed with me as well.
I nod and stifle a chuckle as I receive his own grooming session.
It's just a long lecture of here, I'll summarize to myself quickly for you: Be a traditional christian man or woman, obey the President if they're Republican always, be groomed, gun rights is rad, we keep guns always. Ummm… we hate gay people. We want slavery, but we don't talk about it yet. We don't want any government services, all private businesses. Even stuff like road plowing. And ummm… fucking… No welfare, right. That's it. Oh, and no abortions. And don't smoke weed, drink liquor. Ultimate debate with my ex and him right there, by the way. Ultimate weedaholic, never will give it up to me.
After that, we have a decent conversation about what college is like. It's actually a nice heads up if everything goes smoothly. But the jaded ex in my head says to never trust the path too hard. Especially when war could be coming.
"You could kill the wrong person, and ruin your path if someone gets mad at you during a war, darling." Hemlock says with loving suave in my head.
"Yeah, so here's what's up. You're going to probably be a Squad Captain or something at the start, don't expect more than a Squad. And you have to perform above average, or they'll be suspicious. So make sure to do your best no matter what. You will probably not do real war for at least the first year if everything goes well. But after that, the President Trump is probably gonna get bored enough to do his war with… well, that isn't decided yet. But we're doing an Imperialist streak soon for more resources and farmland and ya know, nation building stuff mainly. We just need resources again, that's all. And the countries are despots, so we're just cleaning the trash of society and robbing them." Father says, blunt and pleased.
I am floored with how honest he is as always with me about what might happen with this war. Then it fucking happens. The stupidest thing. My ex walks in, Jacob Hemlock. Again. For like the fifth in my life here, this illegal fucking Journalist Groomer prick.
"Why is it every time we go to war, it's over resources?! I get that fucking, I dunno, India is like a toxic masculinity disaster pit! But why are we always robbing people, Imperialist style!? We have so much here!" Jacob Hemlock walks in, ranting with annoyance and fierce, ironic amusement.
Jacob is wearing something stupid. Again. For like, five seconds. He was in the plate mail statue outside the room again. He just detaches it all bit by bit as he rants and my Father argues with him.
"HOW FUCKING DARE YOU ALWAYS DO THIS!? I'M SHOOTING YOU THIS TIME!" Father yells furiously.
I'm not stopping him, I'm sick of this too.
"Go fuck yourself, I'm a illegal bio-chemist. Bloodstream plus magnesium plus mushroom spore blood cloud equals I melt your bullets, f@gg3t." Hemlock snaps with cocky pride.
He just keeps casually stripping the plate mail like the stupid r3tard he is to me every time. At this point, I know he's wearing a shirt he stole from me. It's a band shirt for Green Day. The American Idiot Album. Fucking stupid symbolic prick. Black pants, a blue and white plaid button up, and black and green sneakers.
Meanwhile, my Father finally fires at him. And it happens exactly like that fuck said it would. I see a faint burst of blood particles shoot out of him, and a puff of smoke in front of his face happens as the lights dim for a second. Then it stops within seconds as we stare at him traumatized. And he just keeps talking shit.
"Alright, anyway. So like, I know we have enough for like, 12 decades at least based on every store in America. Don't fucking bullshit, just but it from our stores." Fuckboy Machivelli rants cockily.
I hate him. I hate him. Why is he just casually ignoring the fact that he's such a fucking, where he did this power? We have superpowers, yeah. But like, this is too new. He's not supposed to be this cool, he's not a Supersoldier like me. I got groomed with shit like super speed and super strength. Like what the fuck, how'd he do it?
"Alright, anyway for real, what's your counterpoint?" Jacob says, cocky and bored.
Father keeps firing at him. Then he gets mad enough to fight for real. He stands up, and takes off a rack behind him a gunblade. It is a red and black gun blade, the main metal is red, the edge is black. He has a glock pistol grip, so he holds it like a punch dagger or claws to me. It is three feet long, and designed to be fired long the length of the sword's edge. It has two revolver sized barrels sticking out the edges of the guard's horizontal edges. The guard is red and black laced with gold threads.
And honestly, it's such bullshit. It's linked to his magic, so he basically has unlimited ammo to me.
Jacob's Broke Machivelli ass just pulls out his stupid metal stick that his dad bought him from a medieval fair once. He claims, it's stupidly advanced to me to where it's a weeb meme to Jacob. It splits in half to be nunchucks. He never uses it, he only uses it as a stick.
Anyway, they start fighting in his office.