Once i regained my conscious, i was surrounded by nothing but darkness.
How did i end up here? I myself don't know, but anything is better than returning to this hell hole i used to call home.
I was born in the slums, in a family of five. My mother, my father, my older sister and my older brother...
My family didn't have enough money to support us all, but even if they had it... They would just gable it all away.
Our father was a womanizer that would treat women to a "good time" once he was in possession of just one bronze coin. My mother? not any different. She had fun for free. We would have to listen to said "fun" every night.
My siblings and i aren't completely blood related. We have different fathers.
My older sister Diana, is the daughter of the Womanizer. My older brother is the son of some baron that just used our mother for fun and gave her false hope. And i? I'm the son of some guy that took advantage of her...
What a sane family, right?
Since mother and father were always out to have fun, we children were left alone.
My older sister was usually the one going out and trying to make money since she was the oldest. Though we knew that she was selling her body, even if she never told us.
But one day she stopped coming home. My brother and i just assumed that she found a better place to stay, so we wished her the best.
My brother went to the capital to become a knight. I don't know how he managed it but he was accepted by the order.
He started sending me money each month but my parents would take it all and leave me with nothing.
They didn't stop their "fun times", god forbid they become responsible adults. It would have genuinely surprised me if they did.
Good fortune never lasts though.
At the same blink of an eye that changed our lives, we were now attending my brother's funeral.
I would be lying if i said i wasn't crying. I did cry... My parents didn't. They were more annoyed about the fact that they couldn't receive money anymore.
Once it started raining, i went inside the church. The funeral was already done anyway, they couldn't bother holding a long funeral for some slum kid.
But that's when i heard it.
I passed two knights who seemed to have been fellow squad members of my brother.
"This is so annoying. Why would they send us to attend it and give our condolences?" The one with the blond her said.
"Right? He was some lowly slum kid. They're all so filthy." The black haired one gave a small smirk.
"At least that scum was useful. Not everyone would "volunteer" to be a human bomb." Another knight approached, i couldn't see his face but i could hear the smile on his face.
They seemed to have noticed me staring.
They were looking at me and giving me disgusted looks before walking away and muttering things to each other. I could already guess what these words were.
I should have figured that they did something for him to die. After all... he would never just die like that... Not my brother.
He must have been scared.
Weeks passed and my parents money was running out. They didn't think long about it and sold me off.
At least not to an old man with perverted thoughts.
But that's how i ended up becoming a guinea pig for some mad scientists.
I was slice and diced, electrocuted, poised and whatever not. But overtime i felt the pain less and less.
I was in my cage thinking. I would now be at the age were nobles have their coming of age, if i go by how many years i have lived so far.
I don't remember on what day my siblings always celebrated my birthday. It doesn't matter anyway... They're gone, so i have no one to celebrate it with nor a reason to do so.
I still wonder how these coming of age ceremonies look like, i have only heard about it from people i could hear outside this prison.
Everyday my routine restarted. Being cut open, taking things out and putting them back in, i could feel their hands moving inside me each time
And Everyday i could feel my body rotting more and more.
Until...
A knight came to me and freed me from that very prison.
That's when i felt hope for the very first time since my brother passed away
He taught me how to read, to hold a sword and all the things that i found very fun to do.
I saw him as a friend, as my mentor.
This also didn't last, because the very man i viewed as a friend, was now telling me how filthy i am and that i should be happy to die on a battle field for my country. He only got me out of that prison and taught me these things to create a new weapon by the emperor's orders.
The other people that used to be experimented on, were send to the battle field along with me.
We were nothing more than weapons, bombs and shields....
Once the war was over, i felt relieved.
Maybe i can finally be free— oh... Right. I got executed by the knights after the war.... So were the others.
The last thing i saw before everything faded to black, was the soldiers celebrating their victory and setting the bodies in flames that they piled up. Including us.
I couldn't scream, my throat was cut open.
Thus... I was burned alive.
That's how i ended up in this nothingness.
Remembering all that... It makes my blood boild. It makes me angry.
I loath them. Every single one of them. If i knew everything would end up like this, i would have killed them all. Starting with my parents, down to the emperor.
I couldnt even have that childhood nor adulthood that all these people were talking about.
While i was out here suffering, all these people got to live their lives!
I hate my parents for being so incompetent and making my older sister leave us, i hate the scientists for causing me so much pain, i hate the knights for taking my brother from me, i hate my mentor for giving me false hope just to turn me into something i didn't choose to be, but the person i despise the most is the Emperor... everything comes back to him for being so incapable. He could have done something, stopped all this but even he was a part of it!
"I WILL KILL THEM ALL. KILL THEM, KILL THEM, KILL THEM, KILL THEM—" while i was slowly turning insane, a voice was heard from the darkness.
"You hold so much resentment."
It sounded like it surrounded me but also like it was right in front of me, yet i couldn't see a thing.
"They have wronged you, haven't they?"
Just that reminder made my hatred overflow. The thought of everyones actions that led to my death.
"I can help you get your revenge."
This made me come back to reality.
"I can bring you back to live" the voice sounded so sure.
"How—"
"But you will have to do one single thing for me~" the voice sounded so smug.
I didn't respond but the voice could tell that I'm interested.
"Destroy the principles of this world... And rebuild them anew" The voice didn't hesitate.
I wasn't sure what the voice was talking about. His words were starting to confuse me.
"Are you wondering what I'm talking about?" It sounded more like an observation than a question. Even if it were one, I'm sure he would already know the answer to it.
"Yes I'm wondering but also no. No... I would never make a deal with the devil. It doesn't matter how much resentment i hold. Everyone knows better than to shake the hand of the devil himself."
It's true that my resentment towards everyone is enough for me to burn this world into a crisp but shaking the hand of something or someone i don't even know...
"The devil, huh? So that's what I'm called now... And what makes you believe that you would meet the devil instead of a god? As far as i have seen, you were the one being wronged. But call me as you wish."
He didn't give me the time to react to what he said, he continued talking right after.
"Don't missunderstand. I did not come to deceive you nor comfort you"
"Then why did you come?" I spoke with venom in my voice.
"Because someone has to teach the truth." The voice was shooting the same venom back at me
"Ha. What truth is there? A truth that the devil has to teach himself, I can't say that you're known for that." I cannot help but be guarded towards the voice.
"You have experienced it, yet you're still too stubborn to understand. I mean take a look at you. Your pain didn't come from the beings you call demons, they came from the very things that are men just like you. From men that believe themselves righteous! Do you believe that anything that has happened to you was Justified?"
I didn't have anything to say back as i started thinking about it all again.
"I'm asking you. If so, what is Justice?"
"You were taught obedience since little and call it freedom, but once you start acting up, you become a heretic. So can it still be called freedom if there are rules to it?"
"Take wars for example. People kill each other but somehow it's justified, but when someone kills outside of it, it becomes a crime. So why is it? It doesn't matter how you look at it, at the end of the day it's still murder. So why is the latter worse than the former? Who set the rules?"
"If you still don't understand than least go even deeper. Why is it that no one questions it? They take it as it is and deem it justice because it came from someone who is above them. And that's the problem. Justice exists, oh trust me, it really does. But it's not like you think. The ones creating justice are on the top, thus no one dares to oppose them. Their words become rules, which turn into laws and finally come down to Justice. Just because someone said so."
I felt a shiver run down my spine as the voice become angrier and angrier as he spoke, but there was no denying the truth in his words. I have already experienced this "Justice" first hand but even i never questioned it.
"So what's your point." Yet i couldn't help but still guarded.
"Help me. You hold resentment for this "Justice" that befell you, and i hold resentment for the very things that wrote them. Thus our goals align."
I had to think about it. Everything the voice said so far makes sense, and for someone who has experienced it...
"You want guidance? I offer it. You want power? I will give it to you. You want the truth? Then see it with your own eyes... So what do you say?"
"I..."