Keika trudged down the dirt road with the slow, dragging steps of a man whose sanity was being tested by divine-level nonsense.
Behind him followed ten of the most suspiciously attractive people the world had ever seen.
Silver hair gleamed in the sunlight. Eyes glowed faintly like jewels. Their movements were elegant, graceful—too graceful. Every time one of them breathed, birds literally flew away.
"Alright, listen up!" Keika spun around, pointing dramatically at the group. "We're about to enter a village. That means you will—repeat after me—act normal."
"Act… normal?" echoed one of the women, her long hair fluttering like silk.
"Yes. Normal. As in—no glowing, no calling me 'My King,' no licking, no divine aura, and definitely no transforming into tigers in public!"
They all tilted their heads in unison.
"Understood," said the red-eyed leader, who had taken human form as an absurdly good-looking man in white robes. "We shall act perfectly ordinary."
"Good." Keika exhaled. "Now, let's go buy some food and pretend to be tourists. Easy, right?"
He started walking again.
Five minutes later, chaos.
The moment they entered the village, the peaceful market square erupted.
"By the gods, look at them!""Such divine beauty… are they nobles?!""That man! His eyes! They're glowing!"
"I told you to TURN IT OFF!" Keika hissed, tugging at the leader's sleeve.
"Apologies, My Ki—ah, Mister Keika," the leader corrected awkwardly, lowering his gaze.
A crowd of villagers had already gathered. Merchants peeked out from their stalls. Women blushed. Men stared. Children pointed.
"Mom, that uncle sparkles!""Don't look too long, honey. It's rude to stare at divine beings."
Keika rubbed his temples. "Oh yeah. Totally normal. We're doing great."
One of the female tigers leaned down toward a fruit stand, her eyes wide.
"Human food looks so tiny…" she murmured, picking up an apple like it was an exotic gemstone.
The vendor nearly fainted when her golden eyes shimmered.
"Ma'am, please stop glowing on the produce!" Keika pleaded, throwing money onto the stall and bowing. "We'll take… all of it. Just all. Everything you have. Please stop staring at her."
"What currency is this?" the vendor asked, bewildered.
"Um… divine gold?"
The coin melted through the table with a hiss.
"Ah. Great. Now we're committing alchemy-based vandalism."
The red-eyed leader glanced around. "My King, perhaps it would be faster if we simply used our magic to summon provisions."
"No magic!" Keika whisper-screamed. "We're trying to blend in, not start a religion!"
"A religion dedicated to you would not be unwise," another chimed.
"Shut. Up."
He looked around. Villagers were already whispering. Some were kneeling. One man even held up a loaf of bread like an offering.
"Oh no."
A priest appeared from nowhere, panting. "Praise the heavens! The White Messengers have come! The prophecy was true!"
"Nope. No prophecy. Just tourists!" Keika waved frantically. "Definitely not divine! Totally human!"
"Then… the human before you must be the chosen ruler…"
"I AM NOT—!!"
Too late. The crowd erupted in cheers.
"All hail the King of Light!""Our savior has come!""Bless us, O Beautiful One!"
Keika froze as flowers and food started piling at his feet.
The red-eyed tiger smiled serenely. "My King, congratulations. You have already gained your first worshippers."
Keika's expression went blank.
"…I wanted bread and maybe a bed. How did this turn into a religious revolution?"
"It is your natural charisma," one of the tigers said reverently.
"No, it's your glowing faces!"
He sighed, staring at the sky, praying the gods would at least give him one normal day.
A sudden gust of wind blew past — and a new voice called from the crowd.
"Wait! Isn't that the man from the capital? The one who vanished from the King's summoning chamber?!"
Keika's blood turned to ice.
He turned, very slowly, toward the source of the voice — a soldier carrying a royal insignia.
"…Oh, come on."
The soldier squinted, recognition dawning.
"It is him! Capture—"
Before the man could finish, the red-eyed tiger raised a hand, and a faint shimmer of magic washed through the air. The soldier dropped to the ground, snoring.
"Neutralized," the tiger said proudly.
"That's not neutralizing, that's kidnapping!"
"Shall we destroy the evidence?"
"NO! Absolutely not! What are you, a fluffy mafia?!"
Keika crouched down, gripping his head. "This is bad. So bad. The royal guard is gonna hunt me. Again."
He peeked up at the surrounding crowd — who were now kneeling.
"Our King has struck down the enemy with a glance!""Behold his mercy! He only put him to sleep!"
Keika groaned. "Of course. Because when I try to not stand out, the universe doubles down."
He looked back at his beautiful, glowing entourage.
"Alright. New plan. We leave the village, we hide in the woods, and no one—absolutely no one—casts another miracle, got it?"
"Understood," the tigers chorused.
"Also, someone carry the unconscious soldier. We can't just leave him lying there."
"Shall we tie him with divine silk?"
"NO!"
By sunset, Keika and his accidental cult of tiger-people disappeared into the forest, leaving behind a small village now fervently worshipping the "King of Light."
Somewhere in the distance, the Achsharah King felt a sudden, inexplicable pang of jealousy.