Keika woke up to a strange warmth.Not the comforting kind — no. The too-much-fur-and-weight-on-my-chest kind.
Something soft and heavy was pressing down on him.And something wet brushed his cheek.
"…If this is Jouzo trying to prank me again, I swear I'll kill him."
He opened his eyes — and found himself staring directly into the massive golden pupils of a tiger.
"MORNING, MY KING," the tiger said in a deep, echoing voice.
"GYAAAAAAHHH!!"
Keika flailed backward, colliding head-first with another large, furry body. His scream startled half the pack, and in seconds, five enormous white tigers surrounded him protectively, tails flicking like worried house cats.
"M-My King! Are you under attack?!""Who dares to frighten His Majesty?!""Wait—it's just His Majesty himself again.""Ah, the king's morning roar is truly majestic."
"THAT WASN'T A ROAR!" Keika shouted, clutching his pounding chest. "That was called a panic attack!"
He looked around, utterly surrounded by fluff. Fluff to the left. Fluff to the right. Fluff all over. The clearing was basically a luxury fur carpet with fangs.
"W-why are you calling me 'King' anyway? I'm just—uh, a civilian! A regular guy! A perfectly harmless host who accidentally pressed the wrong teleport button!"
The largest tiger — the one with eyes like rubies and a mane that glowed faintly in the sun — stepped forward, bowing its majestic head.
"We sensed the divine command within your soul, My King. The title appeared in our instinct the moment you arrived. You bear the mark of the Harem of All Kind."
"…Don't call it that," Keika muttered, facepalming. "That makes me sound like some walking dating app."
"But it is your holy power, is it not?" the tiger asked reverently.
"It's not holy! It's embarrassing!"
The pack murmured among themselves.
"The King is humble…""Truly divine humility.""As expected of the chosen mate of the White Heavenly Tribe…"
"Wait—MATE?! Hold on, HOLD ON—don't you dare finish that sentence!!" Keika backed up until his foot hit a rock. "I am not—repeat, NOT—anyone's mate! I'm not into—uh—cross-species relationships! I don't even have a pet back home!"
The cub from earlier climbed onto his lap again and started licking his face.
"You smell nice, My King."
"HELP. ME."
But help, of course, did not come.
Keika slumped against the ground, defeated. The realization hit him like a truck (or maybe a tiger).
"So let me get this straight…" he said, rubbing his temples. "I accidentally teleported to the middle of nowhere. Got surrounded by giant cats. Then some cosmic system decided to crown me as their king because of my stupid passive skill. And now I can talk to them because of that same stupid skill?"
"Indeed," the red-eyed tiger said proudly. "You are our eternal ruler, our divine mate, and the one destined to lead us to—"
"Stop. Please. Don't add more titles."
He flopped backward into the grass, staring at the sky in disbelief.
The cub curled up beside him, purring.
The other tigers sat in a circle, tails swishing as though awaiting royal orders.
"I swear," Keika groaned, "if Jouzo shows up right now riding a horse and calls me a 'beast tamer protagonist,' I'm biting him myself."
The red-eyed tiger tilted its head.
"Would you like us to find this 'Jouzo' and bring him to you, My King?"
Keika sat up instantly, eyes wide.
"Wait—you can find people?!"
"Of course. We are the White Heavenly Tigers. We can track the scent of any living being within a hundred leagues."
Keika blinked. His mind, tired as it was, began calculating.
"…Okay. Okay, that's actually useful. If you can find Jouzo, I might finally—"
A pause.
Then realization.
He looked at the massive beasts around him — ten of them, all glowing faintly with divine aura — and sighed.
"—Actually, no. If a pack of giant holy tigers suddenly walks into civilization looking for a half-naked guy, I'm the one who'll be arrested."
The lead tiger blinked. "Should we go in disguise?"
"…You can do that?"
"Naturally. We possess transformation magic. Though we have not used it in centuries."
"Show me," Keika said.
In a flash of shimmering light, the majestic white tiger transformed — into a tall, beautiful man with long silver hair, amber eyes, and a faintly dangerous smile. His clothes were made of white light and fur-like silk.
Keika's jaw dropped.
"Oh no. Not again."
The man bowed elegantly.
"Your Majesty, how do I look?"
"…You look like every woman's dream and every man's confusion," Keika muttered, burying his face in his hands. "Why does my life keep turning into a host club?"
The others began transforming one by one — men, women, all absurdly beautiful, all radiating divine energy.
Ten pairs of golden eyes gazed at him in unison.
"We await your orders, My King."
Keika took a deep breath.Then screamed into the forest:
"I HATE THIS WORLD!!!"
Somewhere far away, Jouzo sneezed in his luxury bath.