🌌 The Rules of Wishing (As explained by beings who are powerful, wise, and completely tired of everyone's nonsense)Rule #1 — Wishes Always Work
Yes. Really.You asked, it happened.
No refunds.No "oops."No "my bad."
If a wish is granted, reality changes.
Congratulations. You broke physics.
Rule #2 — The Universe Demands Balance
Something must be paid.
Who pays?
…Yes.
Could be:
You
Someone you love
A random bystander
A goat three continents away
The wish granter
The atmosphere
Society
Literally anyone the universe points at
Is it fair?
Absolutely not.But the universe doesn't care about your Yelp review.
Rule #3 — Sometimes the Price Was Already Paid
If your wish was free, don't celebrate yet.
It might just mean:
You've already suffered enough
Life already destroyed you once
Fate said, "Yeah, you've had a rough time, buddy"
Basically:
"Here. Have something nice. You've been through it."
Try not to cry.
Rule #4 — Sometimes Kindness Gets a Discount
Have you been:
heroic?
self-sacrificing?
emotionally stable?
genuinely nice without expecting applause?
Occasionally, the universe remembers and goes:
"Fine. You get one. Don't get cocky."
This is rare. Treasure it.
Rule #5 — Sometimes the Terrible People Get Free Wishes Too
Not because they deserve it.
But because the universe is petty and enjoys a good slow-burn disaster.
Free wish for villains usually means:
"Go ahead. Ruin yourself."
"Let's see how badly this goes."
"Entertainment time."
It's not kindness.
It's bait.
Rule #6 — The Price Isn't Always Fatal
Balance doesn't always mean death.
Sometimes it means:
humiliation
social ruin
pants ripping in public
tripping in front of your crush
cosmic slapstick
emotional cringe so strong you ascend
The universe enjoys comedy as much as tragedy.
Possibly more.
Rule #7 — Kids Get Freebies
Children, the untouched, the innocent?
Yeah, sometimes they just… get what they want.
No punishment.
No curse.
No looming horror.
Just a cosmic:
"Here, kid. Have a puppy."
It's the closest the universe ever gets to being a responsible adult.
Rule #8 — There Are No Clear Rules
There is no chart.
No formula.
No moral alignment checklist.
There's just:
rumors
terror
vibes
Every powerful being agrees:
We do not understand how this works.
They all named it:
Angels → "Divine Mystery"
Devils → "Business Opportunity"
Demons → "Prime-Time Entertainment"
Djinn → "Cosmic Contract Law"
Fae → "Fun"
They are all correct.
Somehow.
Rule #9 — The Universe Has a Memory… and a Mood
It remembers.
It collects.
It occasionally shrugs.
Sometimes it smiles.
Sometimes it bites.
Sometimes it does nothing and leaves everyone confused.
And absolutely no one knows why.