The house was great and huge, with the great history touched it with full bless.
I loved it the way I did love everything. Maybe it was a surprise, for me, as I do not like things nowadays. That was the first step of mine in this home, with welcoming hugs and petals of flowers. We again cut cakes for me, as I was the newcomer, or more a family. The uncomfortable feedback was decreasing abruptly, as I could not adjust it, but was perfectly genuine with the certain moment. The family members were sweet and kind. They even feed me some with fondle and care. I never had those. But if it is their ritual, then obviously they deserve an honorable price. I smiled midly, fake, it wasn't. It was from the good side of mine.
Everything was good until,
After dinner, I came upstairs, and one of his sister-in-law ushered me in the room, I entered. It was beautifully decorated. Flowers, candles, tea lights, smell of fragrance scent, and white curtains covered the bed. It just stole my mind. I felt a soft shove on my back, moved my face, and had her laughing with a questionable face. I know I was standing there, with wide mouth, rotating my eyes over, all around.
I was sitting there raising my knees up and locking those with my hands. Japanese calls it- Taiiku-zuwari. Whatever, she left, setting me sitting in a good position, as my uncomfortable feedback again came. When she closed the door behind her, my mind got a huge jolt with the shutting sound, I started trembling faster. I do not want to face anybody at that moment.
Everything has started feeling uneasy. It was a dim and sweet light a few minutes ago. Now, I am feeling it is turning into something spooky. I closed my eyes under my veil, what she used for covering my face. I felt a sudden tranquil when I found all was dark under my eyelash and threw myself to waste some minutes thinking about memories.
My mind was never scared of anything. I was thinking about the things I should not, but wanted. The person, always comes to my dream, has become my nightmare. With all the fame, he chose whatever left there for him, but no. He chose the right. I still have not forgotten the word- CHOSEN since 2021. Sometimes, why we feel, through some sentences, we can not hear, our mind can not take some of those words? It feels like a flame spilt on my ears, with all its heat and wrath. I took the damage, like each time I did, how I fit with it perfectly.
Priority has never been an old vibe for me, but it is repellent, as one of them, who had gotten it, was expulsive. You can not fetch a person from another. It will never be a sacrifice you make all the time to show some good humanity out there. We are all humans with more and less abilities. But the word- Perfect, created the difference, with the priority, we each time gave.
Some praises can also be extra added behavior when the other side is finding strength. We just can not vary things properly, as a human, we all should keep them.
Only we matter is winning something over keeping it. Even after we shout out loud, life is a journey, not a game.
There were so many things in a row, one by one. I had no questions, as I feel, it will not help me fix myself. But still, I feel like a rigorous heart feels, I do need the answers. To make myself clear, God does for welfare. Maybe it can be a forever-consolation for me to spend the rest of my life, demur it will be, but I will make myself willing for each time. That is another promise, for making myself, meeting with another forceful attempt.
I stoically opened my eyes, keeping my memories and hesitations aside, making my heart normal. I rotate my eyes underneath the veil, all was good like the wedding. I sighed as there was no one to judge my each step. It was the comfort zone I was creating for me, but it did not last for longer. It did break my concentration, I heard some footfalls, echoing the floor, coming fast toward the room. I took a deep breath, and my mind started beating faster again. I can not sallow the air. Someone opens the door.