What... where am I? I thought to myself, my mind spinning as I looked around and saw only a multicolored, kaleidoscopic void swirling in every direction. There was no ground, no sky—just infinite colors folding and unfolding endlessly.
I thought I was completely alone until I suddenly heard someone clear their throat.
Startled, I turned—or at least, my awareness shifted—toward the sound. Looking ahead with my non-existent eyes, I saw something I never expected.
And all I could say in that moment was, "Holy crap. Are you... Tet?"
The figure before me—a boyish figure with two-tone hair, mismatched eyes, and a grin that could only belong to a god of mischief—chuckled in delight.
"Yes, indeed, little disembodied soul," Tet said with a theatrical bow. "It is I—Tet! The multiversal God of Games and ruler of multiple worlds!"
I was stunned—staggered by what he'd just said. Up until now, I didn't even think Tet was real, much less some outer god level being. He was supposed to be from fiction. From anime, not... this.
"Wait—did you say disembodied? Why am I disembodied? What happened to me?" I asked, confusion flooding my glowing orb of a soul.
Tet gave a dismissive wave, grinning like this was all a silly story he was reading. "Oh, that. You died," he said, as casually as if we were discussing the weather. "While riding on the back of a crocodile shouting I'm crocodile Dundee naturally it threw you off and ate you."
I blinked—or would have, if I had eyelids. "Oh yeah. How could I forget something like that..." I muttered. "I must've been hammered."
Then I looked at Tet. "So... are you gonna give me another life?"
Tet sighed, floating lazily through the void, rotating like he was weightless in space. "Ordinarily, I'd just let you go to where you're supposed to. Buuut... I need someone for a certain job. And since I can't do it myself—because the world in question is neutral territory, and going over there would be seen as an attempt to invade the multiverse next door—I can only send a proxy. And you... fit my needs."
"And what needs are those?" I asked, suspiciously glowing a little brighter.
Tet floated closer, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "You're a chaotic-neutral, selfish asshole," he said bluntly. "But you do know where the line is between being a prick and a world-destroying sociopath."
"Um... thank you?" I replied, flickering uncertainly.
"What I mean," Tet continued, "is that I don't need a good guy. I need a bad guy to fuck up a worse guy."
I paused. Then let out a surprised, amused burst of light. "Ha! Deadpool reference."
"So what I'm getting here," I said, "is that there's someone in the multiverse you want dealt with, and you don't care how it gets done—just that I limit collateral damage?"
Tet pointed finger-guns at me, smiling wide. "That's correct! Do a good job, and I'll send you to another place for more dirty work." His voice shifted dramatically, full of performative flair. "But for now... I'm sending you to Overlord! Your mission: defeat Nazarick."
I dimmed in pure disbelief. "You're fucking nuts, aren't you?" I said. "You want me to beat Ainz and his army of overpowered worshippers?! You might as well tell me to cover myself in steak and lay down in front of a hungry lion!"
Tet wagged a finger at me, chuckling. "Ah, ah, ah—I'm going to give you... Six wishes. Use them wisely."
I pulsed with frustration. "And you're not listening. Great. Fine. For my first wish... I want to be The Overlord."
Tet's eyes narrowed slightly. "Elaborate," he said flatly. "Because I'm sending you to kill him, not be him."
"No, I mean from the video game," I said, my glow tinged with irritation.
Tet rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Ohhh... that Overlord. Wow, it's been so long I actually forgot about that game series—especially after the third one ruined the franchise. Alright. Wish granted!"
He snapped his fingers. "I'll give you everything from the Overlord video game series—his form, his spells, his servants. But to keep things interesting, you'll get the Netherworld Tower from 2, and the spells from all three games. You'll have all the tower upgrades from the start. You will not be getting his wives, though. Find those on your own."
"I wasn't thinking that," I replied quickly.
Tet gave me a knowing grin. "Yes you were."
"Now... second wish?"
I thought for a moment. "I want a daily spell gacha. And for my existing spells to be a part of me instead of being totems in the tower."
Tet grinned wider. "Alright. That's technically two wishes, but since I'm glad you caught that potential issue, I'll grant it. The limit is five spells a day. Now—third wish?"
"The minions can be a powerful force in large numbers, sure," I said thoughtfully, "but against Nazarick? I might as well be throwing goblins at a dragon. I want the ability to create stronger soldiers as time goes on."
Tet twirled through the air. "Alright," he said. "I'll give you the power to create different spawn pits. Your method to acquire them will also be through a gacha—but this one will require a ticket. You'll get these tickets once a month. Just like any gacha, it'll be random. But fair warning—stronger mobs will require more mana to spawn."
I tilted slightly in the air. "Mana? I thought it was supposed to be souls."
Tet blinked, then waved his hand. "Oh yeah, forgot to mention—I don't like the whole 'trade a soul for a soul' thing. So instead of that, minions will be spawned using mana. It can be your mana... or someone else's. The mobs spawned will only obey you, anyway. Oh—and the resurrection system? That'll also require your mana. Bringing back the dead shouldn't be something everybody can do."
"Next wish?"
"I can't let Ainz resurrect his allies every time I kill them," I said. "So I want my own Netherworld soul prison to hold them."
Tet clapped with approval. "Good foresight! I'll create a soul containment cell in the resurrection chamber and add it to the list of things Mortis does now."
"Fith wish."
I floated silently for a moment, gathering my thoughts. "I want my health and mana capacity to grow over time, with no negative repercussions."
Tet actually looked impressed. "You caught that, did you? Yeah, having the ability to spawn an infinite army doesn't mean squat if you lack the fuel to do it. I hate systems, so I'll just give you a HUD that keeps track of your health and mana stats. Your health will increase by 100 points a day and your mana by 50."
He raised a finger. "As a bonus, I'll give you a minimap and a dropdown menu that displays how many minions you have left, as well as your spells. And finally, it'll let you select which minions to command directly."
"Alright, final wish," Tet said, floating in the air like a child upside-down on a couch, spinning slowly with his arms folded behind his head. His mismatched eyes sparkled with curiosity, clearly wondering what chaos I might conjure up next.
I dimmed in thought, pulsing slowly in the void. After a long moment, I finally said, "I'll need a way to deal with Ainz divine weapons, and world items. So... can you help me with that?" My voice echoed with caution, knowing full well the terrifying artifacts the Sorcerer King had at his disposal.
Tet stopped spinning, his grin widening like a kid realizing he could bend the rules just a little more. He tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Hmmm... I'll give you one final gacha," he said, theatrically holding up a finger with exaggerated flair. "Because good things come in threes!"
Then he spun mid-air and snapped his fingers with a flick of his wrist. "This one'll be a monthly draw that gives you ten random items from anything game-related."
I flared slightly in exasperation. "You know that's a lot of potential flops, right?"
Tet gave a little giggle, his expression as smug as ever. "Yep! But that's half the fun~" he sang, twirling like a dancer mid-jump before floating to a lazy stop.
I let out a resigned sigh, my light flickering low. "Alright... that'll do, I guess."
"Now that's everything. So I guess... good luck."
"Thank you," I said. "I'm gonna need it."
As my form began to glow and pulse with magical energy, I could feel myself being pulled from Tet's realm—launched toward my new fate.
But just before I vanished completely, I heard Tet's voice one final time.
"Oh yeah—totally slipped my mind," he said cheerfully. "But if you die before finishing your job, you'll be sent straight to Hell."
"Wait—WHAT?!" I screamed, just as the light consumed me, flinging me into the unknown.