Li Tian had a dream.
It was simple, noble, and utterly shameless.
He wanted to eat good food, sleep for eighteen hours a day, and maybe—just maybe—live forever if it didn't require effort.
Unfortunately, he had been born into the Eastern Cloud Sect, a cultivation sect that believed in hard work, perseverance, and waking up at five in the morning to "greet the spiritual sun." Li Tian had been here for three years and had yet to greet anything except the inside of his blanket.
Today was no different.
While the other disciples were meditating in the training yard, Li Tian was sprawled across his bamboo bed, drooling slightly onto his pillow. In his hand, he clutched a half-eaten pork bun like it was a priceless treasure.
He was halfway through a pleasant dream about floating dumplings when—
BANG!
A teapot—an old, ugly bronze thing—fell from the ceiling and bonked him right on the forehead.
"Ow—!" Li Tian winced, rubbing the spot. "What kind of sect hazard is this? Do I get worker's compensation? No, wait, that would require work…"
The teapot rattled ominously. Then, a piece of paper fluttered out from its spout. It wasn't some ancient cultivation scroll filled with heavenly secrets. It was… a dumpling shop receipt.
Li Tian frowned. "What, am I supposed to go buy lunch?"
The moment he touched the paper, a voice boomed inside his mind:
> [Slacker's Cultivation System Activated!]
Welcome, Li Tian! Every time you avoid hard work, your cultivation will increase.
Nap more, fight less, eat well. This is the Way.
Li Tian blinked.
He blinked again.
Then he lay back down. "Oh. Finally, a system that understands me."
---
Ten minutes later, the System chimed again:
> [You have avoided morning training. Cultivation +10]
Li Tian grinned. "This is the start of a beautiful friendship."
---
Two hours later…
Li Tian finally decided to get up—not for training, but because the pork bun was gone and hunger was now his mortal enemy. He lazily strolled toward the sect kitchen, planning to "accidentally" arrive right when lunch was served.
Unfortunately, before he could get there, a loud gong rang across the sect.
"All disciples to the main courtyard!" an elder's voice boomed. "We have guests!"
Li Tian groaned. "Guests? Is it too late to pretend I'm sick? No, wait, that's more effort than just walking there…"
---
In the courtyard…
The visiting disciples from the Steel Fang Sect were already standing proudly in the center. Their leader, a tall man with the face of someone who'd never smiled in his life, spoke with the confidence of someone who thought he was the main character.
"We've come for a friendly spar!" he announced. "Show us your strongest!"
In cultivation terms, "friendly" meant "We want to humiliate you in front of your Sect Master."
The Eastern Cloud Sect disciples shuffled awkwardly. No one wanted to be the first to get beaten up.
Li Tian, standing at the very back, decided that this was the perfect time to take a step back and blend into the shadows.
> [Avoided combat: Cultivation +20]
Unfortunately, that step back placed him directly under the giant peach tree in the corner of the courtyard. The tree, moved by either fate or pure spite, chose that exact moment to drop a ripe peach on his head.
"Ow! Again?!" Li Tian muttered.
The peach bounced off him, rolled across the ground, and—like the universe itself had a sense of humor—ended up under the foot of the Steel Fang leader.
SPLAT!
The man's foot slipped, his body twisted, and he face planted into the dirt so hard that dust flew into the air like an explosion.
Gasps echoed through the courtyard.
"Did you see that?!" one Eastern Cloud disciple whispered. "Li Tian took him down in a single move!"
"It wasn't even a move!" another hissed back. "He didn't move at all!"
An elder stroked his beard. "The stillness of the heavens… the patience of the mountains… such mastery."
Li Tian froze. "Wait, no, I—"
"Impressive!" the Sect Master declared. "Truly a hidden dragon! Li Tian, you must represent us at the upcoming Martial Exchange!"
Li Tian: "…Huh?"
---
That night…
Li Tian sat in his room, staring at his reflection. "I'm in trouble."
The System helpfully chimed:
> [Accepted high-profile mission unwillingly: Cultivation +50]
He groaned. "System, listen to me. I don't want to fight. I don't want to train. I just want—"
> [Understood. Suggestion: Attend the Exchange and win by standing still until opponents defeat themselves.]
"…I like the way you think."
Li Tian lay down, pulled the blanket over his head, and took the deepest, most cultivation-boosting nap of his life. Somewhere outside, rumors of the "Mysterious One-Move Expert" began to spread like wildfire.
---