The toilet flush roared like a hurricane, sucking Stark down into the watery abyss. His little cookie arms flailed uselessly as he spun in circles, battered by filthy waves of human waste.
"NOOOO! THIS IS NOT HOW A LEGENDARY VEGAN CHEF IS SUPPOSED TO TRAVEL!" he screamed, his voice muffled by the swirling water. "I DESERVE A HORSE! OR A GOLDEN CARRIAGE! NOT—NOT—POOP RIVER RAPIDS!"
The system, cold and unbothered, chimed:
[Environmental Hazard: Toilet Current Detected. Survival Chance: 42%]
"FORTY-TWO?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" Stark shrieked. "I'M MADE OF DIAMOND COOKIE, NOT—NOT—RUBBER DUCKY!"
The whirlpool tightened, then spat him out violently. He shot through a slimy pipe like a chocolate-chip cannonball, bounced off rusted metal walls, and splashed into a deep, dark reservoir of sewer water.
Silence.
Then… plop.
Stark floated to the surface, covered head-to-crumb in filth. His once-proud cookie body was streaked with unspeakable brown stains, chunks of things he didn't dare identify clinging to him like parasites.
He coughed. "If anyone writes a biography about me, this chapter is getting censored."
Around him, the sewers stretched endlessly—massive tunnels carved from concrete, water flowing in sluggish currents, the air thick with the smell of rot and decay. It wasn't just gross. It was alive.
A splash echoed from deeper in the tunnel.
Then another.
Then… the growl.
Stark stiffened. His chocolate-chip eyes widened.
Out of the darkness slithered a massive… sausage. Slimy, segmented, dripping grease with every undulating movement. Its head was tied shut with a string like some grotesque balloon animal. It hissed, releasing a burst of rancid meat stench into the air.
"OH HELL NO!" Stark screamed. "A sausage worm?! I'M VEGAN, I DON'T DO—"
Before he could finish, the ground shook as something bigger lumbered into the chamber: a mountain of moldy bread with arms like stone loaves and eyes glowing green from fermented yeast. Its breath smelled like a brewery dumpster.
And then, splashing out of the murky water, came dozens of tiny meatballs, squealing like rats. Their greasy bodies slapped against the concrete as they scurried toward him.
"WHY IS THIS MY LIFE NOW?!" Stark shouted.
The system beeped.
[Dungeon Detected: Sewer of Gluttony]
[Threat Level: F]
[Quest Activated: Survive the Sewer]
—Sub-objectives—
• Defeat or escape the Food Monsters.
• Unlock first ability.
• Don't get eaten.
Stark's cookie heart nearly stopped. "Don't get eaten?! That's the objective?!"
The sausage worm lunged, teeth made of sharpened bones snapping inches from his crumbly face. Stark rolled desperately, his chocolate-chip knees scraping the slime-coated ground. The meatballs squealed and latched onto him, gnawing with tiny oily mouths.
"AHHHH! GET OFF ME, YOU GREASY LITTLE DEMONS!" He flailed wildly, smashing them against the walls. Crumbs flew from his arms with every impact. He felt himself cracking.
The mold-bread monster bellowed, swinging a massive arm. The blow sent a tidal wave of sewer water crashing toward him. Stark was swept off his crumbly feet, spinning helplessly in the current.
The system chimed again, almost cheerfully:
[Emergency Adaptation Available: Choose Your First Skill]
Three glowing options appeared before Stark, hovering above the filth like holy relics.
1. Milk Absorption – Allows user to drink milk for stat boosts.
2. Crumb Shot – Fire hardened crumbs from body as projectiles.
3. Stale Armor – Harden body surface into stale, stone-like defense.
Stark's cookie eyes narrowed. "Oh, come on. You expect me to drink milk? I'm vegan! I don't—"
The sausage worm lunged again, teeth glinting.
"OKAY, MAYBE I'LL RECONSIDER LATER!" Stark screamed, slamming his finger into Crumb Shot.
His body tingled. A surge of energy ran through him, and suddenly his right arm cracked, expelling a sharp, hardened crumb like a bullet. It shot across the tunnel—thunk!—and lodged straight into the sausage worm's greasy hide.
The worm shrieked, thrashing in pain. Grease sprayed everywhere, sizzling as it hit the sewer water.
Stark stared at his arm in shock. "Did I just… shoot myself at it?!"
Another notification popped up:
[Skill Unlocked: Crumb Shot (Lv.1)]
—Fire hardened crumbs at enemies. Damage based on Cookie Integrity.
"Cookie Integrity?! What the hell kind of stat is that?!"
The meatballs swarmed again. Stark spun in circles, crumbs firing in all directions like a deranged popcorn machine. Meatballs exploded into greasy paste, splattering the walls.
The bread golem roared and stomped toward him. Each step rattled the tunnel. Mold spores puffed from its body in green clouds, filling the air with choking rot.
Stark gagged. "This is literally my worst nightmare. Mold! Meat! Gluten-based abominations!"
The system chimed again:
[Warning: Bread Golem emits Spores of Decay. Exposure will weaken Cookie Integrity.]
Sure enough, his edges started softening. Cracks formed along his doughy torso.
"Oh no no no no no! I'm not about to become a soggy cookie!"
Stark dashed forward, his tiny cookie legs moving faster than he thought possible. He zigzagged, firing Crumb Shots to distract the golem. Each crumb lodged into its moldy flesh, releasing bursts of green smoke.
But the thing wouldn't stop.
It raised its loaf-sized fist and swung.
Stark barely rolled aside as the ground shattered where he'd been standing. Shards of bread and chunks of concrete flew everywhere. The shockwave tossed Stark into the water.
He surfaced, coughing. Sewer water dripped from his chocolate-chip face.
"I swear," he gasped, "if I live through this, I'm going to open the world's first cookie rights activist group."
The sausage worm slithered back, still bleeding grease. The meatballs regrouped, squealing in fury. The bread golem lumbered closer, spore clouds thickening.
And Stark realized something terrifying: he couldn't run. The tunnel was blocked. His only way forward… was through them.
The system chimed once more:
[Hidden Quest Activated: Embrace the Cookie Within]
[Objective: Defeat the Sewer Guardians. Reward: Stat Upgrade + New System Function]
Stark's cookie eyes burned with fury. "Fine. You want me to embrace being a cookie? I'll embrace it. I'll EMBRACE IT SO HARD THESE FOOD MONSTERS WILL REGRET THE DAY THEY CAME OUT OF A TOILET!"
With a battle cry that sounded suspiciously like someone biting into a crunchy biscuit, Stark unleashed every crumb in his arsenal. His arms cracked and fired like machine guns. His legs spun, kicking meatballs into mush. He vaulted off walls, ricocheting like a chocolate-chip ninja.
The sausage worm shrieked as crumbs peppered its body, each impact sizzling its greasy flesh. The bread golem stumbled as shards of hardened cookie embedded into its moldy chest.
Still, they pressed forward.
Stark was cracking all over. Pieces of him littered the battlefield. He was exhausting his very body to fight.
Then, instinct took over. His system pulsed. His body hardened. His edges turned sharp and jagged. Without choosing it consciously, he activated a second ability—
Stale Armor.
His entire body stiffened, transforming into something between steel and stale biscotti. The bread golem swung again, but this time Stark caught the blow. It hurt—oh, it hurt—but he held, his body unyielding.
The worm lunged. Stark spun and slammed it into the wall, crumbs exploding from the impact.
The meatballs leapt. Stark stomped, crushing them underfoot like greasy grapes.
Finally, with one last desperate Crumb Shot, he fired directly into the bread golem's glowing green core. The crumb pierced it cleanly. The monster froze.
Then, like a collapsing bakery, it crumbled into dust.
The worm shrieked and fled into the darkness. The surviving meatballs scattered.
Silence fell.
Stark stood in the sewer, cracked, battered, filthy, but alive. His system chimed:
[Quest Complete: Survive the Sewer]
[Reward: +5 Cookie Integrity, New Function Unlocked: Inventory]
A glowing interface appeared. Small icons hovered in neat rows.
"Inventory?" Stark asked, panting. "What do I even put in there? Sewer water? My dignity?!"
But deep down, despite the filth, despite the cracks, despite everything—he felt stronger.
He was still a cookie. But now… he was a cookie who could fight.
Somewhere in the darkness, something massive stirred. A roar echoed down the tunnel, shaking the walls.
The system chimed ominously:
[Boss Approaching: The Pizza Beast]
Stark froze.
"…I hate this world."