"If only I had been born under the same fate as Avery, no better a star. I could have had a better life."
We have plenty of Stars, just choose one.
Jordan looked up at the sky above that held two moons and glared. No matter how much he blinked or pinched his now softened belly, nothing changed. He wasn't certain how much time had passed. But the moons head had drawn themselves across the sky from mid point to the southern horizon.
How do I know that? Jordan tried to remember something of how he got to be here in an empty field. He had already checked his body. It was not the body he had grown. It wasn't the body of a D-1 athlete, not one in the first string of the football team.
Jordan sat up. There wasn't difficulty, but his torso didn't rise with its usual ease. His body felt foreign. The knowledge he had that he could rationalize was concerning.
It had been maybe an hour ago when he opened his eyes, and found himself in a open field with a forest at one end and a cliff edge only a meter away. He inhale and immediately began to choke as a foreign object slid toward the back of his throat. Jordan swiftly pulled the offending piece free.
From the scant light, he could see it was a chewed up...stick? Jordan licked around the inside of his mouth and began to spit out stray bits of chewed up wood spinners. Luckily their didnt seems to be any embedded in his flesh or between his teeth. But the residue, which Jordan hope was just sap or left over moisture from chlorophyll, left a over sweetly twang.
Jordan grabbed the top of his collar and scrapped his tongue before wiping along his gum and cheek insides. When he looked down, his collar was tinted red. Jordan swallowed what little of the flavor was left. Had he been bleeding?
But for his mouth to bleed he'd have to have been in a fight. His jaw felt fine nor did his teeth feel loose. But he did feel unsettled. Why was he in and open field? Look out he couldn't see they skyline at all. Absently. Jordan had draw his gaze over head, and thats when to his horror his eyes saw the two moons above him.
When you eliminate all other possibilities, even the impossible becomes possible. Even his great grandmother often chimed him for being too realistic.
"The universe is far too vast, its mysterious was cannot be assume by a single mind. If you see it believe it, even if everyone else tells you otherwise."
His greatgrandmother often spoke in riddles like that. They never quite made sense, but her words were difficult to ignore. And in moments like these Jordan had to relent.
Sure he could dream about twin moons, but that wasnt something he had ever thought about before. And he didnt have a hard it of lucid dreaming. It felt too real. That and the aching in his body like he had been put through the ringer.
Unable to move, he had simple stared at the sky exploring all other possibilities. It's believe in dreams that clocks dont work and you can't determine the passage of time. However, he could see the moons move cross the sky as the cloud past over head. It was then he began to glare, because the moons were moving in the wrong direction.
He had grown up being told "The sun rises in the east and sets in the west." And the moon, one singular moon followed suit. Yet,to see twin south bound moons meant he had to accept the impossible. He was no longer on the earth he'd know for 20 years.
A panic set in and Jordan tried to steady his breath. Succumbing to hysterics wouldn't do him any good. His grandfather would scold him for spineless behavior. Jordan rolled his eyes. He love to drop any of his relatives on an on familiar realm and see how well they adapt. The old man would have a heart attack.
Imagining the scene tickled Jordan. After all, his grandfather made in a point that the Evers were a family of conquerors. He demanded the best from his descendants, though a few got recognized for it.
Jordan grit his teeth a a headache ebbed and slowly receded. He groaned and grimaced. He always fell short in his grandfather's eyes. Even if he did rarely come out in top, some one else unrelated had done better or his accomplishment was deemed unworthy of acknowledgement.
Nigel Evers was the ever present sun of the family 70 years old and just as sharp as when he was 30. Born the bastard child of a plantation owner and a nurse from a once prominent Missouri tribe, Nigel had determined he would take the world and rise above his beginning.
He married a woman pale enough to give him passing children. And those children were kept away from any Native influence, until they drew sick and his mother's old mysterious remedies were the only way to soothe when western medicine fell short.
By the time Nigel had reach 35, his birth father had died, with no legitimate children with his legal wife. And as the only bastard that had clawed his own success, Nigel had been primed to take everything the Evers family had to their name making it his own. Even if that meant continuing his own father's legacy by destroying and stealing the lands of his mother's people.
His children had been unremarkable. Average at best he called them. Even so, he put expectations on his oldest son grooming him to take over when the time came. His grand children came out of order. The middle children marrying and bearing first. But when his heir and the husband of his youngest daughter both present their first born sons to him, he could see the fire in the infants' eyes.
Jordan's family would days Avery was born at an auspicious time. Haralding in the golden era of their family. And Jordan, he was the child of the child that shouldn't have survived. Hardly a life worth celebrating.
Meia Evers was the the last child born the Mrs Felicity Evers, who died shortly after barreling her 7th child. Meia was raise by her grandmother, as Nigel had better things to do than look after a useless new born girl. He chose not to remarry after burying his wife. She had become clingy in her older age of 35, Nigel had no interest in the mewlings of women. Furthermore, he wouldn't suffer the jealous of an even young wife that wanted her born children to inherit first.
In fact, Meia was the only daughter born to her parents, and had never seen her father or brother's faces until she was 18. That day her father presented to her the man that she would marry. Those were the words Meia used when Jordan asked why she and his father were not like other families.
"The man that I married was not for love. It eas my duty. Just as it was my duty to have you."
Jordan's greatgrandmother had fused and demanded Meia to properly explain. But no further words came from her lips. Jordan's mother always looked disinterested in matter of the family. She appreciated Jordan's goal and accomplishments. But Jordan found their relationship was best when she would teach him about medicine.
While his greatgrandmother had her herbal remedies and secretive rites that only those who ventured to her closet could see, Meia kept to the simple understandings of the human body. She had wanted to be a doctor. But that was no path for a wife. So she occasionally helped out the school as the nurse or look after those who needed immediate medical care but with no means of visiting a hospital.
"Mom..." Jordan's face scrunched. Strange for him to be thinking of her at this time. True between Meia and the 97 year old matriarch, Jordan had never seen the inside of a modern hospital. He had learned how to care for his ailments enough. And if Greatgran's tinctures didnt do it, a massage or suppository from Meia always did the trick.
Perhaps it was do to the residual pain that Jordan felt in his body. However he came to be in this strange place, the journey had not been gentle.
Jordan rolled into a table top position. He had aimed to stand up, but a strong waive of dizziness kept him low to the ground. That feeling he knew.
It was after 10 rounds of suicides on Art Hill in the steady Midwestern sun that only the most dedicated athletes would brave in June. The weightless feeling in his legs, followed by the spotty vision. The only thing that was missing was the extreme thirst and labored breathing where he was begging to die.
Ah. Now he remembered. He had wanted to die.
17 years. 17 years Leah Jones had been by his side. Their mothers were best friends, and Leah's mother always joked about the two of them growing up and getting married. Meia would smile and shrug, "That would be nice if they could love each other."
But the smile never quite reached her eyes. Meia would always give Jordan a knowing look as if she could see past Jordan's fate. Like her eyes were telling hum to give up. Still Jordan and Leah were inseparable. From the beginning, he liked having a younger sister by his side, when everyone else in his family ignored him. Through preschool, and grade school, magnet high school programs and even both choosing Wash U together. They had always been together.
Jordan's insides lunched and his stomach spilled its contents on to the ground. Of course he felt sick. He had seen it all. The carelessly thrown clothes on the gym closet floor. The lunchbox he had carefully put together, with gentle meals to helo ease Lesh nervouness over umher upcoming tests. The friendship necklace, made in their 25th year, discarded near the trash bin Leah's naked and sweaty body undulating on top of the lead striker for the team, his counsin Avery.
Maybe Jordan had just assumed. Was it really just him that had expectations? It was all too much.
It was as if his entire life flashed before his eyes. It wa almost comical on how he had failed to see until now. Jordan had genuinely believed his grandfather and tried to work harder to prove himself worthy. But at that moment he realized, it wasnt that Avery was better it was because he was Jordan, his mother's son. And that meant he wasnt deserving.
It was an unspoken rule, one that his greatgrandmother never ceased to refute every chance she got. His relatives called his mother a curse, because his grandmother Felicity died after baring her.
It didnt matter that his twin uncles had been born only 8 months ahead of her. That she had been 3 months premature. That Felicity Evers had always been a frail woman, or even that Greatgran had earned against any other children. It was Meia's fault that her siblings no longer had a mother.
That curse passed to Jordan. And just like for Meia, his greatgrandmother did her best to shield him. But Jordan had been naive. He just needed to prove that he was capable, that he was good.
At first, he thought Avery just wanted someone to rival with. Jordan welcomed it. Jordan joined jujitsu and Avery got a private karate tutor. They both earned gold medals at their respective tournaments. But when forced to spar against one another, Jordan was punished for cuasing Avery to twist his ankle. He had been cruel and deserved a beating. It was his greatgrandmother that nursed him back to health because Meia's hand couldn't steady themselves.
When Jordan got into a merit scholarship for a magnet schools escalator method, his grandfather sent every to the premier school in the Midwest. Even though Jordan's grades were higher his graduation certificate didnt compare to Avery's.
Only his mother and greatgrandmother came to his school events. It was always too far and Avery had a conflict that the rest of the family had already chosen to attend.
It was only once that Jordan complained about the difference in treatment. His grandfather slapped him across the face in front of everyone calling him a tumor to their good fortune.
"Blood protects its own!" His greatgrandmother had shouted. "The reaping of fools is death."
After that, Jordan and his mother were not allowed to attend gathers at the family home anymore. Jordan begged his mother to try again and she cursed them. "Let them die."
That didnt deter Jordan. With Leah as his cheerleader he struggled for notoriety. Between mma, soccer, and school competitions he collected trophies across disciplines. It wasnt long until he and Avery began to show at similar events. Sometimes Jordan would win. And his family would be say the judging was too partial, but if Avery didn't place at all Jordan would get dragged away before he could accept his reward. And he relatives would blame him for giving Avery bad luck. Then his prizes and trophies would end in Avery's because he was more deserving.
The position of captain, his mvp award, even the trust of his coach...and now Leah. Somehow Jordan was always undeseving.
Their grandfather donated a wing to the university in order to buy Avery's way in. But when it was discovered that Jordan got in by early adimission his grandfather threatened him one final time.
"The sun on this family rises and sets on my word. And there is but one reflection of the sun in the sky. This family doesn't need two scion. Drop out and stay in the shadows where you belong."
Jordan hadn't needs his greatgrandmother'a or Meia's encouragement to stand up for himself. He knew he had earned it.
"I guess its time for a second moon." He left knowing that he was refusing to obey the head of the family. His father blamed him for his opportunities a work drying up. Jordan didnt care. He thought with enough time he could prove that he was the better grandson.
And Leah had encouraged him. Her dark brown eyes and toothy smile were always directed at him. "One days they'll see you the way I do. Trust me. They'll be sorry they missed out on your greatness."
It was just a kiss on the cheek. They had never progressed further. Truly Jordan had been too focus being the best in school to worry about dating. But Leah m, he assumed was a given.
Jordan didnt shift when Avery bought his way on to the team. He did like the fact that they all got new equipment and a brand new field. He though Avery meant well. After all, they were cousin's in the same university. Things like fate and omens didn't exist in academics.
So he didnt begrudge the new player being made team came after he'd shown generosity. The soccer ratherly got new things before the football team. There was no reason to complain. And sure, every voted Avery MVP because post game dinner were always one him at the best restaurants.
Maybe he wasn't always the best player. But Avery was good for the team. He even uplifted Jordan for picking up is slack.
Every time Avery failed, Jordan was there to make it happen. Every time Avery missed a crucial game. Every time Avery missed the goal. Everytime coach needed help running drill and planning stay away games. Dealing with the Boosters. Getting approval to open the field on off season ao they could practice and win against other teams. When people needed him, he ran to fix it. Even if Avery got the recognition afterwards.
When Leah needed him. When her parents divorce, it was him who held her as cried all night long. He was the one that helped her studied to get her ACT up. He help her before every major test, even for classes he didnt take. Even now he had planned to work with her on midterms.
But none of that had matter. Jordan had thought as long as he had Leah, being acknowledged at in his for his hard work didnt matter. All he need was Leah.
But she apparently didn't need him.
Jordan had spent the afternoon locked in his room and huddled under his covers. Leah jad been a constant in his life. When had Avery start to take an interest? He knew what Leah meant to him. Jordan taken Leah to every school formal since 8th grade. When outsides could come to family dinners, Leah was with him. There was no way Avery didnt know.
And Leah. She knew how Avery was to him. Maybe Jordan hadn't hated him. It was Leah who would call him out for hogging attention and claiming his feigned ignorance to the family's behavior was just to cover his own failures. Jordan believe Leah was on his side. How could she do that to him...with Avery or all people.
That day he skipped practice. Even as calls from the coach rang through his. His teammates. And finally Leah. He ignored the all and focused on the 40oz he'd grabbed from Schnucks on his way through the college city, walking around, aimlessly.
Jordan couldn't recall what happened after that. The heartache and liquor had clouded his thoughts. At the time he didnt care about meeting the expectations of others anymore. He was tired of coming up short the last few years.
At 20 years old, he had never done anything for himself. He had always accepted the labels given by other and done their bidding without question, and look where it got him. Second to Avery once again.
In the blurred images of the rustic plane atop the City Museum, he felt the acceptance. He accepted he would always be a footnote in his cousin's legacy because that was his fate; no matter how hard he fought, you couldn't change your fate. And then just black.
Jordan came to he was here in this field, no longer drunk and a sense of peace had settled within him. As if everything that had been wrong didnt matter anymore, at least not to him.
His mother had tried to tell him. But Jordan's own hubris got in the way. Maybe he was cursed. Cursed to be unloved for the rest of his life. Jordan bit nack his tears. He wouldnt cry over what hed chosen. He had aim for the heaven and failed. Now here he was in a foriegn space. May e his ancestors had chosen to remove him from any further embarrassment. Jordan sighed.
"There's nothing in this world that is permanent," his greatgrandmother had said. "Everything that is here was once gone. And everything you could do is waiting to start."
Jordan grit his teeth. It was his greatgrandmother's constsnt have baked proverbs that made him think success was possible. And now, he couldn't even tell her she was wrong.
Did i die? Jordan wondered what the headlines would read. Would his family cry and regret what they put him through? Would Leah feel sorry?
Jordan scoffed and sat on his heels before leaning in to a clean space away from the spilled content of his stomach. He was tired. So very tired and he wanted a rest. A nice long, uninterrupted rest.
"There you are you lazy sumbitch!"