I would suggest reading this if you haven't read Eminence in Shadow. This is basically Cid before he got reincarnated. If not, skip to the second chapter.
(It's basically a copy of the original but it's all you need!!) (E/n: He's working me like a slave fr)
You should honestly know Cid's character when reading this fic but this should at least save me the effort of having to explain to those who haven't read Eminence in Shadow.
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I don't remember what started it. All I know is that ever since I can remember, I've always yearned for "power in the shadows."
Was it because of anime? Manga? Movies? Actually, it doesn't really matter. As long as it was a power in the shadows, I loved it.
Not the hero. Not the final boss. I'm talking about those unseen existences that manipulate events and reveal their true strength only from the darkness.
I adored them. I wanted to become one of them.
What heroes were to everyone else, "powers in shadows" were to me.
But unlike the kids who eventually outgrew their fascination with heroes, my passion never faded. It burned deep within me like something primal, something that refused to die out and it pushed me forward.
Karate. Boxing. Kendo. Mixed martial arts. I learned them all. To become strong, I threw myself into training and mastered every style I could find, all while keeping my strength hidden waiting for the day I would finally reveal myself.
At school, I was mediocrity itself. Harmless. Forgettable. Mob character A.
But behind that façade was endless, grueling training.
That was my youth, that was my school life.
As time passed, though, reality hit me. No matter how many martial arts I mastered, I would never reach the overwhelming, world-bending power that those shadow figures possessed in fiction.
The most I could achieve would be the strength to beat up a few punks. If firearms came into the picture, things would get tough. And if I got surrounded by soldiers wearing full equipment, well then, that'd be game over.
A "power in the shadows" that gets beaten up by soldiers… how laughable.
Even if I spent several more decades in training, even if I became the world's strongest martial artist, if I got surrounded by soldiers, I'd still get beaten up. Mm, or maybe I would be able to handle it somehow. Perhaps, with enough training, humans might possess the potential to beat up soldiers even if originally surrounded.
But even then, if a nuke dropped on my head, I'd be vaporized all the same. That's the limit of being human.
This much, I knew with absolute certainty: the "power in shadows" I idolized would never be erased by a mere nuclear bomb. Which meant I, too, had to become someone who wouldn't be vaporized by one.
What is it that I needed such that a nuke wouldn't be able to vaporize me?
Punching power?
A sturdy body?
Endless stamina?
Of course not.
I would need something different, an altogether different kind of strength.
Magic, mana, qi, aura, anything was fine. I would need to acquire a mystical power of some sort.
That was the answer I reached after staring reality in the face.
If there was someone searching for real magic, I'm sure everyone would doubt that person's sanity.
Honestly, I would too. They'd have to be crazy.
But then again… how could anyone be so sure?
And if sanity can't grant me the power I seek… then true strength must lie somewhere beyond it.
In this world, no one has ever been able to prove the existence of magic. But on the flip side, no one has ever disproven it with absolute certainty either.
Sanity wouldn't grant me the strength I sought. True power lay somewhere beyond the borders of reason, deep within the realm of madness.
From that point on, my training grew far more difficult.
Magic. Mana. Qi. Aura. No one knew how to learn any of these.
I meditated Buddhist-style, I meditated under waterfalls, I meditated quietly, I fasted, I mastered yoga, I converted (E/n: "whatever gets me in Heaven" looking ahh) (a/n: are you even editing), I searched for spirits, I prayed, I even affixed myself to a cross.
There was no "correct" method, only the lonely path I believed in, one step at a time through the darkness.
With the passage of time, I finally approached the last summer of my high school era.
I still had yet to find magic or mana or qi or aura...
After finishing the usual training, I realize that the sky has become completely dark.
I put on the underwear that I'd dropped next to me before threading my arms through my school uniform.
I still had yet to grasp a mystical power. However, I feel like I'm making some progress in my recent training.
Such as right now.
Having just finished a training session, there is a bright light flickering on and off inside my head, and my vision is wobbling unsteadily. Either magic... or perhaps aura...
I am definitely feeling the effects of either one of those.
I can say that today's training was meaningful indeed.
By taking off all my clothes while in the forest, I was able to feel myself becoming one with nature. By continuously banging my head against a thick tree trunk, I was able to purge my mind of distracting thoughts and stimulate my brain to encourage it to awaken to mystical powers.
It is a perfectly logical training menu.
Aah, my vision is blurring over.
It's almost as if I'm suffering from a cerebral concussion.
With floating steps – it's as if I'm almost floating through the air! – I come down from the forest.
Abruptly, I see a swaying light.
Two lights actually, swerving through midair.
How mysterious they are! They seem to be guiding me, inviting me.
"C-, could it be... magic?"
I approach with tottering steps.
It must be! It's magic!
Finally! I have finally found a mystical power!
Before I knew it, my steps had turned into a dash. There are tree roots in my way, but even when I trip I continue rolling towards the lights, simply plunging forward like a wild animal.
"Magic! Magic! Magic! Magicmagicmagicmagicmagic!!!"
I jump out before the two lights, and grab...
"Ah...?"
The headlights dye my world pure white.
The sound of screeching brakes reverberated inside my head.
The shock penetrates my body, and I... my... magic...
In conclusion, I did find magic.