PROLOGUE
The silence inside the Dragon Pavilion felt suffocating, interrupted only by the rustle of parting silk. Under the dim, flickering light of swaying lanterns, Xiaoxi lay helpless.
His body, now trapped in the form of a soul-bound doll, felt so light and fragile beneath the confinement of the powerful Emperor.
Longwei did not utter a single word.
His rough fingers traced Xiaoxi's jawline with a wild, possessive intensity. To the Emperor, this was merely the exploration of a fascinating new toy a magical object that could sigh and possessed a strange warmth beneath its porcelain skin.
But to Xiaoxi, every touch was a reminder of his crushed dignity. He was a university student, a human being who once had dreams in his former world.
And now? He was nothing more than an invisible kept thing, touched only when the ruler needed release.
"You are exquisite tonight," Longwei whispered, his voice heavy with a passion that began to ignite the air around them.
Longwei began to taste Xiaoxi's neck, leaving contrasting red marks on the pale skin. His kisses were demanding, slightly rough, asserting an absolute dominance that knew no refusal.
The Emperor's ragged breath against the crook of Xiaoxi's neck made the young man tremble. Not from pleasure, but from a cold, biting fear.
Every time Longwei moved further, seizing more of him, Xiaoxi could only stare at the pavilion ceiling with eyes that began to glaze with tears.
He stopped fighting. He allowed his body to be moved according to Longwei's will, letting himself sink into a pain that began to mingle with a strange, unwanted sensation.
God, if I truly must be an object, why did You leave me with a heart that still feels this heavy? Xiaoxi thought bitterly.
Above him, Longwei lost even more control. The Emperor did not realize that the more he demanded and quenched his thirst, the more he destroyed the tiny soul held in his arms.
He wanted Xiaoxi entirely body and soul without realizing that his way of loving was exactly what made Xiaoxi want to disappear.
That night, under the moon of the Eastern Sky Kingdom, Xiaoxi finally gave up. He surrendered his body to be enjoyed, while slowly burying his heart deep inside so he would no longer have to feel the sting of being loved as a toy.
CHAPTER 1: Echoes in an Empty House
The evening sunlight in this big city always held the same hue a coppery orange reflecting off the glass of skyscrapers, clashing with the green of the neatly lined Ginkgo trees on the sidewalk.
To most people, this was a nauseating rush hour. But for Xiaoxi, this was the most peaceful moment. The muffled sound of vehicles filtered through the lush leaves and the gentle autumn breeze was his favorite melody.
Xiaoxi walked with small steps, his school bag slumping listlessly on his shoulder. He stopped at a small bakery on the corner, where the warm aroma of butter and yeast welcomed his senses.
"Uncle, one milk cream bun, as usual," he said softly, almost in a whisper.
After paying with exact change, he stepped out holding the warm package. Xiaoxi took a bite of the bun, closing his eyes as the sweetness spread across his tongue. In that second, he felt whole.
No piling college assignments, no expectations from others just him and a piece of bread under the shade of trees turning gold.
However, that peace lasted only a flicker.
THWACK!
An empty plastic bottle struck his shoulder before falling and rolling onto the asphalt. Xiaoxi winced, nearly choking on his bun.
Coarse laughter exploded behind him, followed by the screech of bicycle chains being pedaled fast.
"Hey, Robot! Eating alone again?" shouted one of the three students who sped past him.
"Look at his face, it's stiff like a statue! No wonder he has no friends!" another chimed in, deliberately veering his bicycle tire close to Xiaoxi's feet, making him stumble sideways.
Xiaoxi remained silent. He stood frozen, staring at their retreating backs amidst the hustle and bustle of the street. He knew why they targeted him.
At campus, Xiaoxi was known as the 'weird' student. He was stiff, struggled to express emotion through his face, and often appeared awkward when forced to speak with others.
They saw his silence as a weakness a fun thing to bully.
He took a long breath, an exhale that carried the weight of the world. Slowly, he leaned over and picked up the empty bottle they had thrown at him. He walked a few steps toward a trash can and disposed of it with a neat motion.
"At least I don't litter," he muttered to himself, trying to find a small victory amidst the creeping shame.
The journey home felt longer than usual. Each step Xiaoxi took led him away from the crowds toward a quieter alley where his small apartment sat. The sun began to sink, leaving long shadows that seemed to trail him like ghosts.
When he reached the door of apartment number 402, Xiaoxi paused. He reached into his pocket, pulled out his key, and turned the lock with a click that echoed in the lonely hallway.
The door opened. Darkness and cold air greeted him.
"I'm home..." Xiaoxi said in a clear voice, as if there were someone waiting in the living room to welcome him back.
But there was no answer. Only the ticking of the wall clock filled the void.
Xiaoxi still took off his shoes neatly, placing them on the rack, then walked to the kitchen to set down the rest of his bun. He said that greeting every day on purpose.
Not because he was crazy, but because it was the only way he didn't feel completely erased from the world. If he made a sound, at least the walls of this house knew he still existed.
He turned on the living room light. The pale neon light illuminated the cramped space. He sat at the dining table which had only one chair.
"The bun was really delicious earlier, I should have bought two," he murmured again, trying to fill the silence with his own voice.
He offered a thin smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. Xiaoxi was an expert at one thing: pretending he was fine in his solitude. He convinced himself that loneliness was a form of freedom, that having no one meant no one could hurt him.
Yet, deep in his heart, there was a gaping black hole. A longing for a warmth he hadn't felt since his parents passed away. He didn't know that soon, the silence he embraced so tightly would be snatched from him, and he would wake up in a world where his voice was no longer even considered a human voice.
Xiaoxi closed his eyes, leaning against the cold wooden chair.
"Tomorrow... I want a day quieter than this."
He did not know that tomorrow would never come for him as a human being.
Once the house felt a bit warmer with the lights on, Xiaoxi walked to his room. His room was simple, but very tidy. He immediately collapsed onto the bed, hugging his bolster.
This was the most precious time of his day: time to "escape" from the real world.
He took his tablet from the bedside drawer. His fingers nimbly opened a comic reading app.
There, a list of BL (Boy's Love) manhwas he hadn't finished waiting for him.
To others, Xiaoxi might be considered weird. But to Xiaoxi, reading these romantic stories between men was his only way to not feel alone.
He loved seeing how the characters in those comics cared for each other, protected each other, and loved each other with such bravery something he never felt in the real world.
"I wonder if there will ever be someone who wants to protect me like this?" he whispered softly, looking at an illustration of an emperor hugging his partner protectively.
Xiaoxi loved the historical/kingdom genre the most. He loved imagining living in a grand palace, having servants, and of course, having someone who considered him special. In the real world, he was just a clumsy student who got hit with trash bottles.
But in his mind, he could be anyone.
He kept reading, scrolling down enthusiastically. Sometimes he smiled to himself at a funny scene, sometimes his chest felt tight during a sad one.
"Huft, if only my life was as beautiful as these comics," he sighed, turning off the tablet because his eyes were starting to sting.
He stared at the dark bedroom ceiling. Slowly, drowsiness began to set in. Xiaoxi curled up under the blankets, trying to find a comfortable position.