Let me paint you a picture.
It's a Tuesday morning, I have $11.47 in my bank account, my landlord just texted me about rent, and I'm eating instant noodles I borrowed from my roommate because I can't even afford my own instant noodles. That's where I was in life. Below broke. Subterranean levels of broke.
My name is Caden Wells, twenty years old, junior at Westbrook University, and professional sufferer.
Now normally I could deal with all of that. Broke? Whatever, half the campus was broke. Ramen for dinner? A classic. Landlord texts? Ignore and cope.
But then Sarah had to go and blow up my whole Tuesday.
She called me to meet her outside the cafeteria and the moment I saw her face I knew something was wrong. You know that face. The "we need to talk" face. The face that has never once in human history preceded good news.
"Caden I think we should break up."
Just like that. No warmup, no easing into it, nothing.
"...It's Derek isn't it."
It wasn't even a question. Derek Thompson was a business major. He always wore polo shirts and owned a BMW. The kind of guy who used the word "portfolio" in casual conversation. I already knew.
She didn't even deny it. Just did that thing where you look slightly to the left and say nothing, which is somehow worse than any answer she could have given me.
I walked back to my dorm in complete silence. Sat on my bed and stared at the ceiling while I thought about a lot of things.
I won't get into the details of where my head went that evening but let's just say I ended up on the bridge near Miller Creek and I was not there to enjoy the view.
And then —
[Ding!]
I looked around. Nobody.
[Billionaire System Activated!]
[Spend Money to Get More Rich!]
[The greater the cost, the greater the return!]
I blinked. There was literally text floating in my vision like some kind of HUD. Blue, clean, impossible.
"...am I having a stroke?"
[Ding! Starter Pack Received!]
[$100,000 has been credited to your account!]
My phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out with shaking hands and opened my banking app.
{Account Balance: $100,011.47}
I stared at it for a very long time.
Then I started laughing. Like actually losing it, alone on a bridge at 9pm, cackling at my phone like a maniac. Because what else do you do when the universe waits until your absolute lowest moment to hand you a cheat code?
Okay. Okay fine.
Derek wanted to play?
Let's play.