"Yo yo yo, what's good, my spiritually-deprived disciples! It's your boy, An Rui, back at it with another reincarnation vlog—this time from a realm where people fly on swords and hate my guts for no reason. Let's get it!"
The camera shakes as An Rui spins in a slow circle, revealing the lavish courtyard of the An Clan estate. Jade pavilions, koi ponds, and robed servants holding fruit trays like they're in a period drama. The kid filming this? Shirt open, hair tousled, smug grin like he invented silk robes.
A subtitle flashes in golden letters:
[An Rui, Age 19. Reincarnated. Zero cultivation. Unlimited cellular data(?)]
Rewinding 12 hours, the former Anson Reyes—failed TikToker, Subway sandwich artist, and self-proclaimed "content genius"—was arguing with the algorithm gods when bam—truck, tunnel of light, brief HR meeting with a sarcastic Buddha, and now…
Reborn as Young Master An Rui, heir to the An Clan, number one on the "Most Slappable Faces in the Province" leaderboard.
"Master Rui," a servant says, bowing low. "The Chosen One from Azure Peak is here to… duel."
"Again?" An Rui groans. "Didn't he already try to punch me into a crater last week?"
"He said you insulted his sect's ancestor. On your… uh… broadcast."
An Rui checks his phone. Yep. There it is.
[Title: "Reacting to Azure Peak's Cultivation Method—Mid AF 💀"]
1.2 million views. Top comment: "Bro really said your grandmaster looks like a diseased carrot."
"Oops," he mutters.
Cut to:
An Rui standing at the gate, phone outstretched, framed perfectly for that front-camera wide-angle drama. Opposite him, the Azure Peak Chosen One—glowing sword, angry eyebrows, righteous aura.
"AN RUI! I HAVE COME TO AVENGE MY MASTER!"
"Cool cool, can you do your monologue again, but like—face the sun this time? Lighting's whack on this side."
The chosen one twitches.
An Rui adds: "Also, say your name before the line. My audience loves a good villain entrance."
"I'M NOT A VILL—!"
BOOM! Sword slash. Courtyard explodes. Marble tiles fly.
An Rui ducks, rolls, and pops back up. Phone still filming.
"Yooo this guy's got that rage blade build, y'all see that?! Leave a comment if you think he skips leg day!"
Somewhere in a divine cloud realm, a bunch of immortals watch the livestream on an orb.
"He's an idiot," says one.
"But entertaining," admits another.
"He shall be hunted by every chosen one in the land," says the third.
They all nod.
Back on the ground, An Rui pants behind a smoking pillar. "Okay. So I may not have spiritual roots, heavenly fate, or a single cultivation technique… but you know what I do have?"
He flips the camera around to his face—sweaty, grinning, chaotic good energy.
"Clout."
End of Chapter 1.
Next time: Can you dodge a flying sword while keeping your camera stable?