"Hinata looks too mid in Boruto, right?… They simply wasted the looks she had in Naruto: The Last..." I muttered as I scrolled through the latest Boruto manga chapter on my phone, sighing in quiet disappointment. Boruto — yeah, it's a dumpster fire at times, but the manga? Surprisingly tolerable. Still, watching Hinata's downgrade felt personal.
Like watching your first crush show up to the reunion wearing Crocs and a potato sack.
I glanced at the time.
"Damn… it's already five in the morning. Ughhh, another day without sleep." My voice echoed through the empty apartment as I stretched, back cracking like I was made of rusted joints and regret. "I'm genuinely starting to think my lifestyle's gonna kill me one of these days…"
And maybe it did.
Because the next thing I felt was pressure. Not pain or an attack — more like gravity forgot how to behave. The air thickened. My vision blurred, and the edges of my sight dimmed. My chest tightened, and suddenly I was aware of every heartbeat. Fast. Erratic. Panicked.
"What the hell…?" I stumbled forward. My legs gave out.
My phone slipped from my hand, screen still glowing with Hinata's mid-tier art. I tried to get up — failed. Cold sweat drenched me. My limbs twitched once. Then… nothing.
Darkness swallowed everything.
No fanfare. No tragic background music. Just the cold realization that I was dying, alone, in my one-bedroom apartment, with manga on my screen and three half-finished energy drinks on my desk.
'Seriously? I go out like this?'
Silence.
For a moment, I thought maybe this was it. That death was just... void.
Until I noticed something strange.
I was standing.
Not lying on the floor anymore — standing upright, barefoot, on what looked like a perfectly reflective surface that stretched out infinitely in all directions. Like someone placed me in the middle of an endless, polished obsidian plain.
The sky — if you could call it that — was a swirling void of stars and nebulas, but distant. Cold. Vast. Too vast.
I looked down at myself. I was whole. Not a wound on me. Same old hoodie and track pants combo I died in — classy.
"Okay…" I muttered, glancing around. "So this is either hell, or someone spiked my Monster with LSD."
"Neither."
The voice didn't boom or echo. It came from directly behind me — calm, firm, and far too casual for this scenery.
I turned.
There, standing like he belonged here more than the laws of physics themselves, was a man in a black three-piece suit. Clean. Sharp. Tailored like reality itself stitched it. He looked maybe thirty, clean-cut, expression unreadable but not unkind. No glowing eyes, no wings or halos — just… a man.
He adjusted his cufflinks and gave me a nod.
"You died," he said plainly. "Your heart gave out. Massive system shock from stress, caffeine abuse, and sleep deprivation. In short: your lifestyle did kill you. Congratulations on being right."
"…Well, shit." I blinked. "So you're... what? God? Death? A multiversal HR rep?"
He gave a small chuckle. "You can call me a Random Omnipotent Being. Or ROB, if you want to be cute about it."
"I'd ask if this is a prank, but I don't think my brain's creative enough to dream up you."
"I'll take that as a compliment."
He reached into thin air — and the air parted — pulling out a manila folder that shouldn't exist in a place like this. He opened it, scanned the contents with a slight hum, and closed it again with a flick.
"Well," ROB said, meeting my gaze, "let's talk about what comes next."
"Me getting isekai'd?" I asked. After all, it was the common trope after all this, right?
"Correct again. I have a feeling you would do great in your next life. Anyways, you're going to the world of Naruto, and you can get one in-world ultimate-tier talent, which will be lottery-based. So, good luck." The ROB chuckled.
"A lottery? I don't think my luck is exactly my best suit...." I sighed.
"Well, considering you were an average NEET with a mediocre job, you don't have any particularly strong suits anyway." The ROB shrugged in response, spouting heartless words.
"Well, that hurts more than it should have... hahhh, onto the lottery, I suppose." I resigned myself to my fate. If it's an ultimate-tier talent, it should be good no matter what, I guess.
"That's the spirit. Here you go." ROB laughed loudly, waving his hand, and a big wheel appeared in front of us. It contained several skills — some awesome, some not so much, like:
Ultimate Chakra Amount, Ultimate Fuinjutsu Talent, Ultimate Ninjutsu Talent, Ultimate Senjutsu Talent... these were the awesome ones. Sadly, there were some bad ones too...
Ultimate Shurikenjutsu Talent, Ultimate Kenjutsu Talent... like what, am I supposed to throw a shuriken at Madara, or charge at Kaguya with a sword?
"Well, I don't trust my luck much, but here goes nothing." I said, and pressed the button. The lottery wheel started to spin. After a few moments, my talent was revealed:
Ultimate Chakra Control Talent.
"It's alright, I guess... could have been worse..." These were the words that left my mouth the first time I looked at my talent. Ultimate chakra control. Nothing overpowered, but maybe I can cook something out of it...
"It's not bad, so I suppose that's all. All the best for your next life," ROB said, not a single change in his expression.
"Wait, what about my identity and all?" I asked.
"Oh, don't worry about that, it's already decided. You'll get the standard isekai orphan package, and all the rest of your stats will be completely average. So you just have that one ultimate-tier talent to carry you. How you exploit it — completely upon you." The ROB chuckled, and waved his hand. Darkness engulfed me.
But the darkness ended in a moment as I felt light again. I was alive once more, but with a little extra memory in my head...
I am Inaba Shinkurou now. Five years old. About to become six in a month. I was born in the 15th year of Konoha — roughly the same age as the Sannin.
Well, not the best new name, but I guess this will have to make do.
And another thing: I start the ninja academy in 10 days. Already passed the entry exams, so that's a plus... I think.
Perfect chakra control…
Let's see what can be done with it.