The wind on this rooftop felt different. It wasn't the usual cold that bites your skin; it was a hollow chill, as if it blew right through my body without finding anything to warm. Dozens of stories beneath my worn-out soles, the city of Seoul was spread out like a man-made galaxy.
An ocean of lights from the skyscrapers, strings of vehicle headlamps creeping along the city's main arteries. It was stunning. An ironic beauty that I could only fully appreciate the moment I decided to leave it forever.
WUUUSSSHHH…
The sound of the wind roaring in my ears sounded like a long sigh from the universe. Maybe it was tired of seeing one more defeated soul like me.
'Enough. Everything ends here.'
I took a step forward, closer to the edge. Small pebbles from the concrete surface crunched under my shoes, some of them tumbling into the void. I didn't dare look down. Not because I was afraid of heights, but because I was afraid a stupid, last flicker of hope might appear and pull me back. I didn't want to go back. Not anymore.
Twenty-eight years. That's how long I lived as a shadow. A shadow of the famous name Kwon Dae-hyun, my father, whose gaze always felt like judgment, and I was always found lacking. A shadow of my older brother, Kwon Tae-min, the perfect crown prince whose every step was an achievement, while every breath I took was a disappointment.
'Father... will you be smiling with satisfaction now? Your son finally knows his place. Brother... you've finally won a landslide victory. There will be no more embarrassing comparison to you.'
A bitter smile curled on my dry, cracked lips. Even in this moment, they were the first ones who came to mind. How pathetic. I didn't even have a life of my own in my final seconds.
My only regret was Mother. The gentle face of Lee Soo-jin flashed through my mind. The only person who looked at me and actually saw me, not a wasted potential or a walking failure. I didn't answer her call this afternoon. Perhaps that was for the best. There wouldn't be any awkward goodbyes.
'Mother... I'm sorry.'
I closed my eyes, spread both arms, and felt the wind gently push me. This was the moment. One small step for Han Ji-woo, one massive relief for the Kwon family. I took a deep breath, inhaling the Seoul night air for the last time. Air filled with pollution and other people's dreams.
However, a stupid, irrelevant question suddenly crossed my resigned mind.
'What time is it?'
For some reason, I felt I had to know. The exact time I died. Maybe it was the last remnants of my gamer self, always paying attention to small details. With a slightly trembling hand, I reached into my hoodie pocket and pulled out my phone.
The cracked screen reluctantly lit up, showing 4% battery remaining. And below it, the time.
23:59
One minute before a new day I would never see.
But that wasn't what caught my breath. Those weren't the numbers that made my previously calm heart pound wildly. Right in the middle of the screen, among the social media app icons and a few games I hadn't played in ages, there was a new icon. An icon I swore to God had never been there before.
Its shape was simple, but somehow captivating. A pitch-black circle, like a bottomless hole, and in its center, a small white dot pulsated softly, gently, in sync with my suddenly racing heart. Beneath it were two words in Latin script.
Death and Life
I stood frozen at the edge of the rooftop. The wind was still howling. The city was still glowing. But the entire universe in my head was now focused on that small icon. My intent to die evaporated, replaced by one burning, idiotic question.
What app is this?
That was the first feeling, pushing aside the fleeting curiosity. Maybe it was just a hallucination. A stress-starved brain creating a bizarre fantasy before finally dying. Or maybe it was some kind of virus, a cruel joke from a random hacker who somehow infiltrated my beat-up phone.
'What does it matter anyway?'
I snorted softly. Hallucination or not, a joke or not, what did I have to lose? I was already at the end of my journey. There was nothing left to take from me. Nothing left to fear. Pain? I'd felt it every day until I was numb. Disappointment? That was the air I breathed.
With a finger that was no longer shaking, I touched the black circle icon.
Click.
Nothing happened. At least, nothing visible. My phone screen didn't change, no app opened. For a split second, I felt foolish. Of course, it wasn't real.
Then, everything went black.
No, my phone hadn't died. My sight suddenly went dark. As if someone had flicked a switch in the universe, the ocean of Seoul city lights before me vanished. The roaring wind suddenly became silent. The traffic noise below was gone. All that remained was total darkness and a deafening silence. I couldn't even feel the cold concrete beneath my feet or the wind on my face. I was just... floating.
In the middle of that void, lines of bluish-white text began to appear before my eyes, as if projected directly onto my retina. The letters were sharp and clean.
[Scanning Biometrics…]
[DNA Confirmed: Han Ji-woo]
[Nerve Synchronization Successful]
[Welcome, Player. The 'Dead and Life' System has been activated.]
I couldn't scream. I wasn't even sure I still had a mouth. I could only "read" the texts that kept appearing before me.
[You are the only registered Player.]
[Objective: Survive and Complete Missions.]
[Start Tutorial?]
Below that last question, two virtual buttons appeared, shining with the same light.
[ YES / NO ]
Slowly, the sensation of the real world began to return. The sound of the wind's roar faintly returned, then got louder. The city's light came back, starting with small flickers until it returned to a blinding ocean of light. I stumbled back one step, away from the edge of the roof, my heart pounding so hard it hurt my chest.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
I stared at my phone screen. It still displayed the normal app icons. As if nothing had happened. But I knew. What I had just experienced felt more real than my life had been for the past few years.
Tutorial. A word I knew well. Every game always starts with a tutorial. But this wasn't a game. I had just felt what seemed like death, and my senses had returned.
But also... something new.
A choice. At a time when I felt I had no choices left, this thing gave me one. YES or NO. To step forward into this ambiguity, or to return to my original plan of jumping.
I looked at my phone, then at the edge of the roof, then back at my phone. The choice laid out before me felt so absurd. On one side, there was a cold certainty of void. On the other, a crazy app that might just be a product of my dying brain.
But the curiosity... that accursed curiosity now had a tight grip on me. Like an itch you couldn't scratch. I was ready to jump. I was ready to die. What difference did it make if I did it by pressing that option?
'Screw it all.'
My fingers felt heavy as I raised them, as if an invisible weight was holding them down. I imagined the virtual interface floating before my eyes again. The [YES] button seemed to be calling me. Without further thought, I tapped the area of the screen where I estimated the button to be.
Once again, the world around me vanished in an instant. The same darkness and silence as before enveloped me. Then, the texts reappeared, cold and unemotional.
[Choice Confirmed: YES]
[Tutorial will begin.]
[Receiving New Mission...]
A new, larger window opened before me, resembling a mission status screen in an RPG game. The details were clearly displayed.
[TUTORIAL MISSION: The Initial Leap]
Description: Every end is a new beginning. To understand the power of 'Dead and Life', you must first understand Death itself.
Main Objective:
Jump from your current location and die.
Time Limit: 10 Minutes
Tutorial Reward:
Full Activation of the Player System
500 Initial Points
Access to [Store]
Failure Penalty:
Deletion of the 'Dead and Life' System
Permanent Death
I "read" the text line by line, and every word felt like a direct punch to the gut. Laughter. A dry, desperate laugh escaped my throat as my senses returned to normal. I laughed hysterically on the edge of that rooftop, a maniacal laugh that echoed in the quiet night.
The irony was so perfect it felt like a joke written specifically for me. I came here to jump and die. And now, a mysterious app was telling me to do the exact same thing, but framing it as a "mission." Not as an end, but as a beginning.
The failure penalty... Permanent Death. How was that different from my plan ten minutes ago?
But now everything felt different. This was no longer my choice. It was a command. A test. Was I crazy enough to believe that this death wouldn't be permanent? That there was something after I hit the asphalt down there?
I glanced at my phone. In the top corner of the screen, a small countdown had appeared, glowing red.
09:43
My heart raced with those constantly dropping numbers. I came here looking for an end, but what I found was a much more terrifying choice. Jumping out of despair was one thing. But jumping because I 'believed' in this insane system?
This was the highest level of madness.
And for some reason, in the middle of all this madness, I felt more alive than ever before.
The countdown on my phone screen continued relentlessly. Seven minutes. Six minutes. The numbers seemed to mock me, giving me the illusion that I had a choice. In reality, my choice had been made the moment I arrived here. This app hadn't changed my goal; it had just changed the narrative. From a miserable end to a insane beginning.
'I have nothing to lose,' I thought, a strange calmness enveloping my chaotic mind. 'I came here to die. This app just... gives me a weirder reason to do it.'
Whether I believed it or not no longer mattered. If the app was a lie and I died permanently, then I got what I wanted from the start. If the app was real, then... I would see what was on the other side of death. This was the one gamble in my life where I wouldn't lose anything.
I hesitated no longer.
I turned off my phone screen, not wanting to see the countdown anymore. I didn't need it. I took a deep breath, not to find courage, but to feel the last sensation of life. The cold night air filling my lungs. Far below, a police siren wailed softly.
Then, with my eyes wide open, staring at the glittering Seoul skyline, I stepped off the edge.
For a moment, there was no sensation at all. Just emptiness. A feeling of lightness as my body left its last foothold on the world. Then, gravity pulled me with a brutal jerk. The wind tore at my clothes and roared past my ears, drowning out all other sounds.
The city lights that were static dots moments ago now blurred into vertical streaks of color. My stomach clenched. Time seemed to slow down, giving me a chance to see my failed life flash by in one long, painful instant. Father's disappointed face, Brother's satisfied smile, and Mother's tears.
I closed my eyes.
'This is it...'
Then, everything stopped.
CRASH!!!