"Get out, Victor." Malevola pointed her demonsword at her Boyfriend.
Sonar raised his hands in a calming gesture. "Mal... wait, I know it looks bad but."—-
"NO!" She shouts over him. "Victor, there is no BUT." she huffed, "YOU lost my money, lost our house, the car, the FUCKING CAT! I KNOW YOU HATED HER BUT SHE WAS FAMILY AND YOU FUCKING SOLD HER!" The Demoness's eyes glowed bright with rage.
Sonar kept his arms raised, trying to diffuse the argument. "Baby Baby, it's temporary. BlondeBlazerBoobCoin is a LOCK!" Victor pumped both fists. "Yes, I had to sell everything, but... It's okay because we are going to be SOOO fucking rich once this comes through that we can buy everything back, even the shitty cat!" He said with the utmost confidence, gesturing for the demon to follow him as he walked to his day trading and crypto setup.
"Here, Mal, look, with the hundred grand from your savings account, the ~420k from remortgaging the house, and everything else, I was able to get nearly 5 million coins in the presale!" Victor shook with excitement, showing her the coin's chart. "The token is about to go live, and you'll see how quickly we become billionaires!"
The timer on the webpage ticked by '5...4...3...2...1', the page buffered, then refreshed.
Simultaneously, a drop of Bat sweat hit the floor, and a broadsword was lifted from it."Billionaire, huh? Is that right, Batty?" Malevola's voice was a malevolent drawl.
Victor slowly and very lightly stepped away, raising his hands once more. "Look Baby, there's another coin releasing tomorrow and—" A red portal opened behind him
Malevola walked towards Sonar. "I do not know where this portal leads, Sonar," she circled the shaking Batman, "But I do know I do not wish to see you again, and this is the farthest portal I can create." She stopped, planting the tip of her sword in the ground, and faced Victor. "Step through it before I kill you." Her voice was cold and detached.
Sonar's shoulders slumped. "I love you Mal" he said meekly, and stepped through the portal onto a dusty desert mesa.
He stood their for a moment, then turned opening his mouth to speak--
A red arm grabbed his tie through the portal, pulling him into a very passionate, tongue-filled kiss. "My love for you is as everlasting as death. Find your way back to me, Batty, my love." The portal closed.
-----------------
"EEEEEEP" Sonar sonared from atop a small mesa, sensing nothing around him for miles but sand, rocks, and mountains.
Sonar paced back and forth on the mesa a few times, then stopped and kicked a rock off the mesa's edge. "Mal, can I come back yet? I'm sorry about selling Demonwhiskers." Sonar pleaded to the desert winds.
"Mal? Hellooo, lovely lady whom I love so dearly?" No response.
"Man this stinks." Sonar muttered to himself
KABOOM BLAM BOOMBA BOOM BOP BOOM
A series of large explosions rocked the nearby mountain range, shaking the ground and kicking up dust for miles around.
"What the fuck!" Sonar exclaimed in anguish, falling to his knees and covering his sensitive ears to the best of his ability while the bombs' rolling shockwave blasted past him, his suit fluttering in the wind and dust.
Sonar stood up as the shockwave passed. Straightened his jacket, adjusted his tie, and pulled on his cuffs.
"Welp, I guess I'll go see what that's about." Sonar began walking towards the mountains before he paused, noticing A small Gerbil hopping across the nearby rocks.
He licked his lips. "A snack comes first, I need energy for work, of course."
--------------
Sonar crouched in a small rock alcove, gnawing on the desert Gerbil. "Took me ages to catch this little pest... Cringe."
Sonar wiped his mouth, tossed aside the gerbil's remains, and rose to his feet. The echoes of the earlier explosions still lingered in his mind.
With a triumphant hunt under his belt, he felt his primal Megabat form bubbling up from within, he activated the Megabat mode on his new suit, courtesy of Royd, before shifting into the glorious form of a monsterous giant bat. "Time to freak some people out." He voiced, taking flight.
--------------------
The convoy was a scene of chaos, Humvees flipped on their sides, on their roofs, riddled with bullet holes, and others smoldering from explosions. Megabat landed next to what was left of the lead Humvee, and sonar screeched, finding no survivors among the convoy's wreckage.
Megabat strutted around the wrecked convoy, sniffing, tapping things, and poking burnt corpses with his best Sherlock impression.
"Okay," he muttered, squinting at a cratered Humvee. "I've almost pieced it together." He began drawing on the sand with his wings, piecing together clues and connecting evidence together with artistic precision.
"Fuck yeah...masterpiece." He stepped back and took flight to admire his work from above.
A crudely drawn phallus spanned the entirety of the crime scene; at its tip, tire tracks splurged away from the scene, leading into the perilous desert dunes.
The hunt was on.
----------------------------
The cave smelled of metal, blood, and sweat. The wall lights flickered off as a small device sitting atop Tony's workbench turned on, bathing Tony and Yinsen in a soft blue light.
"Whoa... That doesn't look like a Jericho missile." Yinsen said softly
"That's because it's a miniaturized arc reactor. I've got a big one powering my factory at home. This should keep the shrapnel out of my heart." Tony said, eyes locked on the reactor.
"Well, what could it generate?"
"If my math is right, and it always is, three gigajules per second."
"That could run your heart for fifty lifetimes."
"Or something big for 15 minutes."
Tony moved a bundle of blueprints under a lamp's light, and Yinsen moved to read them.
"This is our ticket out of here." Tony declared in a hushed voice.
"What is it?" Yinsen asked.
"EEEEEP"