This is NOT a translation!
The first chapter is inspired by my abandoned DxD fanfic :)
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It had been a wild night celebrating his friend's birthday. Josh knew he'd drunk way too much, but the horny texts from Amy—the chick he'd been chasing for months—were making him even more reckless.
"Just got home, parents out till tomorrow. Door's unlocked. Come over~"
Fuck yes! This slut finally wants the D!
Josh stumbled to his car, keys jingling in his shaky hand.
cree-scrach
He peeled out of the parking lot, tires screeching. Google Maps open, he typed in Amy's address.
"Main roads? Too slow!" he slurred. Spotting a shortcut through the backwoods, he grinned. "Hell yeah, adventure time!"
wroom-wroom
The car lurched onto a narrow dirt trail, trees blurring past. Josh blasted metal on the stereo.
♪♫ Immortal temptation takes over my mind... CONDEEEMMNED—♫♪
His phone buzzed—a video call from Amy.
Beep
He answered one-handed. There she was in a skimpy black gown, rubbing herself shamelessly.
"When are you coming, baby~?" she purred.
"Soon, babe! Real soon!" Josh's eyes were glued to the screen as she spread her legs for him.
"Aah~ Hurry... my pussy needs that big cock~"
That did it. Blood rushed south, motivation skyrocketed.
"YEAH! WAIT FOR ME! I AM THE STORM THAT IS APPROACHING!!!" he roared, cutting the call.
The road had turned into a bumpy mountain path surrounded by endless forest. His phone GPS still insisted this was the fastest route.
"You better not fuck me over, Maps!"
But the line plunged deeper into nowhere.
Cresting a hill, Josh suddenly faced a sheer cliff drop.
"Eh..? Oh shiiii—"
He slammed the brakes. Too late.
screech-crunch
The car sailed over the edge, tumbling into the abyss.
Bang! Bam! Crack!
Branches snapped, metal crumpled. The wreck hit the bottom with a final explosive crunch, bursting into flames.
Everything went black.
When Josh opened his eyes, he was floating above his charred, mangled corpse.
"...Am I a ghost now? What the actual fuck?"
||Bahahaha! BAHAHAHAHAHA!!||
A booming, mocking laugh echoed through the void.
Josh whipped around. Facing him was a massive, shapeless shadow that suddenly morphed into a giant white cat—with three glowing eyes.
"Ayo... what the.."
The cat snapped its fingers. Space ripped open, and both were yanked into a vast room with pitch-black floors and walls, blinding white ceiling.
||Gwahahaha! Dude, that was the SHITTIEST death I've seen in centuries!|| the cat wheezed, rolling on the floor.
"Ugh.. You think my death is funny?!" Josh yelled.
||ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY!|| it roared. ||Drunk driving because ...pussy? Trusting Google Maps into a cliff? And that line—"I AM THE STORM THAT IS APPROACHING"?! PFFFT—comedy gold! I'm dying!||
Josh crossed his spectral arms, frowning. Okay... it was kinda pathetic when said out loud.
"Who the hell are you anyway?"
The cat wiped a tear, still chuckling. ||Kekeke... I am Sebre Brenez Otzr Gzt. But you can call me SBOG. Or just ROB, since you humans love that fanfic term.||
"A Random Outer God? Like in isekai stories?"
||Hah! Never heard that one, but I like it. I scoop up souls whose deaths make me laugh and give 'em a second chance—with wishes. Yours? Top-tier trash. Congratulations, you're getting isekai'd!||
Josh blinked. "So... wishes? How many?"
||Normally three, but your death was so hilariously bad I'm feeling generous... nah, screw that. One wish only. Make it count, buddy.||
"First of all, can I choose the place, to get reincarnate" Josh asked.
|| Uu, Uu, No can do~ But after those FanFics, I can tell you that you will be Isekaied in an AU!||
"Hmm.. then can I wish for omnipotence? Or nigh-omnipotence at most?" Не asked.
||Hm. No, you cannot wish for power that exceeds my capabilities, Buddy, so you'll have to wish for something else other than being the multiverse's strongest or something like that. ||
"Alright," Josh didn't even hesitate. He knew exactly what would make him unstoppable.
"I want the Gamer system. The full thing—like in those Korean manhwa. Infinite growth, skills, stats, the works. That shit turns anyone into a god eventually."
The ROB's three eyes gleamed excitedly. ||Oho, greedy little shit. Straight for the broken cheese, huh? Should say no... but you made me laugh so hard. Sike—Granted!||
||Ok, I need to go, but I'll be watching!!|| The cat booped his spectral forehead. ||Oh, yeah! You'll find your system after you get iseki'ed!||
zoooop!!
...
Cold.
That's the first thing my tiny new brain registers. Freezing goddamn stone under my bare ass, December wind biting at my skin.
But I'm not crying. Hell no. Babies are supposed to wail the second they're out in the world, right? Not me. I'm too busy grinning like an idiot inside this helpless little body.
Why, you may ask. Because I've got proof now! The ROB chose me! It's a fucking proof that I'm just built different. Always knew I was better than everyone else—now the universe itself is admitting it!
My golden eyes scan the dark street. Old brick buildings, gas lamps flickering, cars parked that look straight out of the 80s. No clue where I am yet, but one thing's clear: this ain't modern Earth. Good. Means no cops, no cameras, no rules I already know.
A cold, emotionless voice echoed in my mind.
[Gamer System Activated]
[Host: Joseph]
[Level: 1]
[Class Selection Available: Warrior / Rogue / Mage]
[Race: Human]
HP: 100/100 |
MP: 150/150 |
SP: 100/100]
[STR: 3 |
DEX: 4 |
CON: 5 |
INT: 8 |
WIS: 6 |
CHA: 7 |
LUK: 5]
[Passive Skills Added:]
- [Gamer's Mind] (EX): Immunity to mental interference and emotional manipulation.
- [Gamer's Body] (EX): Body functions as in a game. Sleep in bed to recover HP/MP/SP. Level up to heal all ailments.
Already my mind is racing with plans—how to exploit this system, how to turn whatever backwater village or city this is into my personal playground, how to grind until I'm untouchable and everyone else is either beneath me or begging to be.
A blue screen pops up again, cold and mechanical.
[Please Select A Class]
[Warrior / Rogue / Mage]
[Subclasses can be unlocked and equipped later after reaching level thresholds.]
I blink. Oh, yeah, I need to choose a class? And since I can equip other classes in future I'm not that worried... but first.
"Explain each one," I think at the system. No way I'm picking blind.
[Warrior: Focuses on physical combat, durability, and direct confrontation. High growth in STR, CON, and weapon mastery skills. Excels in prolonged battles and tanking damage.]
[Rogue: Emphasizes stealth, agility, precision, and utility. High growth in DEX, LUK, and skills related to evasion, critical strikes, lockpicking, and subterfuge. Versatile for survival in unknown or hostile environments.]
[Mage: Centers on magical affinity, mana pool expansion, and spell acquisition. High growth in INT, WIS, and elemental or arcane skills. Requires safe environments for early development due to initial fragility.]
No idea if this world has magic or not. Could be urban fantasy, could be some horror shithole or an urban cultivation—Nope! That shit scares me! No cultivation ROB! Please!
Ok.. I need to think!
I'm a baby and probably an orphan because no parent will place their baby in this situation, right? If the system is right, then this 100% does not qualify as a 'safe environment'. Picking Mage right now is foolishness.
Warrior's safe but boring—straightforward meathead path.
Rogue though... stealth, crits, utility? That's perfect for staying alive while I figure out what the hell is going on. Plus the system already said I can add subclasses later. Start sneaky, stack everything on top later. Smart.
"Rogue," I decide instantly.
[Class Selected: Rogue (Level 1)]
[Stat Bonuses Applied]
[STR: 3 → 6 |
DEX: 4 → 7 |
CON: 5 → 8 |
INT: 8 → 11 |
WIS: 6 → 9 |
CHA: 7 → 9 |
LUK: 5 → 9]
[New Skills Unlocked]
[Sneak - Lv.1]: Reduces noise and visibility while moving intentionally.
[Dagger Mastery - Lv.1]: Increases damage and accuracy with bladed weapons under 30cm.
[Observe] (Active): View information about targets.
A warm rush spreads through my tiny limbs—like the system's already making this baby body less useless. Muscles tighten just a fraction, reflexes sharpen. Still a goddamn infant, but now an infant that could probably shank someone if I had a knife.
Nice!
-[New Feature Unlocked: Blessing Gacha]
[Every three rolls: Exactly two Blessings and one Curse.]
[Rolls are weighted toward synergy for early survival.]
[You have been granted three starting pulls.]
[All Blesings guaranteed Uncommon rarity or higher.]
Holy shit. Guaranteed two blessings per three rolls? And starting with uncommon and above? This is busted as fuck!
[Rolling Three Pulls...]
[Roll 1: Epic Blessing Acquired]
[Mind Is A Library(Epic)]
Whatever you read or watch, it'll be filed in an empty shell within your mind's endless library. Congratulations, you don't need to cram for passing an exam.
[Roll 2: Uncommon Blessing Acquired]
[Free from Sustenance (Uncommon)]
You no longer require food, water, or air to survive. Starvation, thirst, and suffocation are irrelevant.
[Roll 3: Common Curse Acquired]
[Nightmare Bound (Common)]
You cannot sleep for more than 4 hours consecutively. Attempting to sleep longer forces entry into vivid, exhausting nightmares.
My baby face twisted into a triumphant smirk as I lay there under the dim streetlight, tiny fists pumping.
Fuck yeah! This is basically photographic memory, right? Heh~ My mind is a goddamn Library.
And no need to eat or drink? Perfect for grinding 24/7.
The curse? Four hours max sleep? Big deal—I don't even need sleep anymore, so who cares about a little nightmare? I'll just power-nap like a boss and keep leveling.
This is it. Proof I'm the main character. Everyone else in this world is just an NPC waiting to get farmed.
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I just wanted to write something. I don't know if I'll continue it or not :)
And yeah, don't worry, he'll be OP as fuck. He'll have magic before enrolling at Hogwarts, so no need to stress.