The problem with being the Lord of Heaven was not the power.
Power was easy. Laws folded. Time behaved. Karma queued politely. Even tribulations knew when to bark and when to sit.
No, the real problem was paperwork.
The Lord of Heaven sat on the edge of the Azure Causality Throne, staring into the endless scrolls floating before him. Each one glowed with divine light, stamped with seals like FATE ADJUSTMENT REQUEST, KARMIC DISCREPANCY REPORT, TRIBULATION MISFIRE (URGENT), and—his personal favorite—
"MORTAL PRAYED TOO HARD."
"Why," he asked the empty cosmos, "is this my problem?"
The cosmos, as usual, did not answer.
Instead, Heaven did.
She materialized beside the throne in a soft shimmer of light, dressed in pristine white robes embroidered with stars, cycles, and a frankly excessive amount of symbolism. Her long hair flowed like a river of moonlight, her expression earnest to the point of pain.
"Master," Heaven said brightly. "You're three million requests behind schedule."
The Lord of Heaven groaned and slid further down the throne until he was practically lying across it like an exhausted cat.
"I was behind schedule before time existed," he muttered. "This is not new information."
Heaven clasped her hands. "But Master, the backlog is accelerating. Three realms experienced spontaneous enlightenment events last night."
"That sounds like a them problem."
"And seventeen cultivators broke through early due to karmic overflow."
"Why do they keep doing that?"
"One mortal accidentally invented a new cooking technique and triggered a minor destiny cascade."
The Lord pinched the bridge of his nose. "I swear, if one more person achieves enlightenment through soup—"
"—it was stew," Heaven corrected gently.
Silence.
Then:
"I need a break," the Lord of Heaven said.
Heaven froze.
Her pupils shrank. The stars embroidered on her sleeves flickered.
"A… break?" she repeated carefully.
"Yes. A vacation. Time off. Retirement. Sabbatical. I don't care what you call it."
"Master," Heaven said, voice tightening, "you are Heaven."
"Yes, and Heaven is overworked."
He gestured at the scrolls. "Look at this. Do you know how many times I've personally fixed the reincarnation queue because someone reincarnated as a rock?"
Heaven hesitated. "To be fair, that was karmically appropriate."
"That was my fault," he snapped. "I was tired."
He stood, robes of supreme authority flowing like collapsing dimensions, and pointed dramatically at the endless firmament.
"I have governed existence since before causality learned how to walk. I balanced yin and yang when they were still arguing about whose turn it was. I personally trained the first tribulation lightning to stop vaporizing entire continents."
Heaven nodded vigorously. "You did a wonderful job."
"I am done."
The words echoed.
Even the scrolls stopped rustling.
Heaven stared at him as if he had just announced his intention to un-invent gravity.
"Master," she said slowly, "that is… not an option."
"Oh, it absolutely is."
He waved his hand, and the throne dissolved into mist. The scrolls vanished with a relieved sigh.
"I'm reincarnating," he said. "Mortal body. No memories of authority. No throne. No responsibilities."
Heaven's face drained of color.
"You can't just—"
"I already did."
Reality hiccupped.
Far below, in a backwater mortal realm so insignificant it barely registered on the cosmic radar, a baby cried.
The Lord of Heaven exhaled in bliss.
"Oh, that feels better already."
Heaven's POV — INTERNAL PANIC MODE
This was bad.
No—this was cataclysmic.
Heaven stood alone in the now-empty firmament, staring at the place where her Master had been.
He was gone.
Not sealed. Not slumbering. Not observing from behind a veil.
Gone gone.
"…Master?" she whispered.
No response.
The systems of fate trembled. Karma queues jittered. Time asked several anxious questions and received no answers.
Heaven immediately rolled up her sleeves.
"Okay," she said, forcing calm. "This is fine. Master has done… eccentric things before."
She conjured a projection.
STATUS CHECK: LORD OF HEAVEN
Authority: Dormant
Location: Mortal Realm #3,487,221
Cultivation: Zero (???)
Intent: Avoid Responsibility
Her eye twitched.
Avoid responsibility?
That wasn't a setting. That wasn't even a valid concept.
"…He must be exhausted," Heaven said softly.
She clenched her fists.
"Very well, Master. If you want a break… I will support you."
The laws themselves shuddered.
Heaven smiled.
"I will help."
Mortal Realm — Somewhere Very Unimportant
The baby cried again.
The midwife jumped.
"By the ancestors—did you feel that?" she asked.
The room was silent. No thunder. No light. Just… a strange sense that the air had briefly bowed.
The baby, wrapped in rough cloth, stopped crying.
He opened his eyes.
They were ordinary. Perfectly mortal.
Good.
The former Lord of Heaven relaxed.
Excellent, he thought. No power. No aura. No destiny markers. No one will care who I am.
Outside, the sky rumbled.
"…Huh."
The rumble passed.
The baby yawned.
Probably coincidence.
Heaven's POV — ASSISTANCE INITIATED
Heaven hovered invisibly above the mortal realm, watching anxiously.
Master looked so small.
So fragile.
So… breakable.
She frowned.
"This will not do."
She extended a finger and made a tiny adjustment.
Just a little karmic cushioning.
Nothing obvious.
Certainly nothing that would draw attention.
The weave of fate rearranged itself obediently.
Somewhere nearby, a wandering cultivator tripped over a root and dropped a jade pendant worth a fortune.
It rolled.
It stopped.
Right next to the baby's cradle.
Heaven beamed.
"There," she said. "A normal life."
The heavens cracked faintly.
Back in the Mortal Cradle
The baby slept peacefully.
The former Lord of Heaven smiled in his dreams.
I'm finally free.
Above him, unseen, the laws of existence leaned closer.
Just to check.
Just in case.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Three days later, the village elders would gather in whispered panic.
Because lightning had struck the same empty field seven times in one night.
And the thunder had sounded… happy.
Far away, Heaven clasped her hands together, eyes shining with devotion.
"Master's tribulations are already guarding him," she said proudly.
"I knew helping was the right choice."