"You're saying you wouldn't want a harem? You're insane!" Kai said to his friend, who was playing video games next to him.
"Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't want a harem, but it's just super unrealistic. Besides, dealing with so many women can be tiring. Trust me, my girlfriend is stressful enough." Leo responded.
"Nah fam, this isn't a normal harem situation. In this scenario, you have powers, maybe you're the hero who beat the demon king, or a knight who has shaken the world with your power. Women would flock to you, bro. They would beg to be your maid, let alone wife." Kai grabbed a snack, munching on it as he spoke.
"I get that, but the chances of that happening are literally zero. We live in the real world, not in a fantasy one. You need to stop playing those games and reading those fantasy novels."
"Bro, bro, you're not seeing the vision. Living in a medieval fantasy world is literally the best, especially if you get to choose your starting powers."
"Let me guess, you'd choose hypnosis or some sort of mind control. Sick bastard." Leo shook his head.
"See! Now you're getting it! If you hypnotize them, then you wouldn't have to deal with the stress of having a bunch of girls. You can make every girl love you and just have fun."
"It wouldn't be true love, though." Leo retorted, pointing at Kai with a game controller in his hand.
"Who gives a fuck?! Be real, if you could have loyal people who are guaranteed not to betray you or give you stress, you'd take it. Who cares if there's no love? Love is overrated." Kai plopped onto his bed, relishing in the what-ifs of his imagination.
"This is why you don't have a girlfriend."
"Fuck you Leo!" He smacked Leo's head with a granola bar.
"Don't get me wrong, Kai, I do see the vision, I'm just ignoring it because it's so unrealistic. What would happen to the people you mind control? Their feelings? Their emotions? Would you want women who are empty on the inside as your lovers?" Leo asked
"This is why you gotta wish for the hypnosis that can affect the senses and emotions. Come on, bro, this is basic cultured-men knowledge, you should know this."
"You're actually crazy, man." Leo laughed and continued to play the game.
"I'm just a man of culture, unlike you, girlfriend having ass bastard. Truck-kun, I offer you my life." He laughed, getting up from his seat and walking to the kitchen to get some soda.
"Shit, we're out. Hey man, I'm going to grab some soda. I'll be back in like twenty minutes. Want anything?"
"Yeah, get some popcorn with extra butter, oh, and nacho seasoning. That shit is so good on popcorn." Leo could already feel his mouth salivating at the thought of eating popcorn with nacho seasoning.
"Got it." Kai grabbed his keys and left his apartment building.
Ever since he was young, Kai has loved fantasy stories. Knights in shining armor, heroes fighting against the demon king, powerful mages, and even reincarnation stories.
In those stories, Kai would escape from reality every time his finger swiped his phone screen to go to the next chapter. The magic, the mysteries, the possibilities, he loved them all.
Eventually, he thought, what if he were in those worlds? He imagined himself as the main character of a novel he read about a powerful magic knight, a Hero. The Hero had everything: looks, charm, power, and most importantly, women.
To Kai, Heroes deserved a harem and had all the right to indulge in all the love-making they could do. But then in the later chapters, something changed his view on this entirely.
The Hero was betrayed by one of his lovers. She poisoned him after they made love, killing him, but not before revealing that she was the lover of the demon king. But reading further, it turned out that the Demon King mind-controlled the hero's lover, turning her against him.
Kai was furious. One of his favorite novels ended because of some shitty power such as mind control. But then it had him thinking. Was mind control really that bad?
Ever since that day, Kai had been fascinated by mind control and hypnosis stories.
'Fuck! If I had mind control powers, I would be living my best life, having fun, going on adventures, and meeting sexy women, not living in that shitty apartment.' He arrived at the store, picking up the items he had come for.
When he left the store and started walking back to his apartment, he spotted a woman on her phone crossing the crosswalk. The light was red for pedestrians, and cars were zipping past at high speeds.
"Hey, lady, cars are coming! It's dangerous!" Kai shouted
"I have a boyfriend." The lady said, not even looking in his direction.
"The fuck? Bitch I don't care about that! Cars are coming, and the light is red for pedestrians."
"I said I have a boyfriend!" The lady continued to walk, unaware of the danger that crept up on her.
"Lady! Hey! Be careful!" As Kai slowly approached the lady, a speeding truck blazed by, not paying attention to the road.
"Watch out!" Pushing the lady out of the way, Kai took the full force of a semi-truck slamming into him at 70mph.
"Ew! Did you seriously try to touch me?! I'm telling my boyfriend.
'Seriously? I got hit by motherfucking truck-kun to save you and you're still taking about your boyfriend? Fuck you!' Kai thought to himself before he died.
---
"Pfffft Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!! I can't believe it! There's no way that actually happened!" A voice laughed, echoing as if it were in a tunnel.
"Ughh, what happened?" Clutching his head as he got up, Kai examined his surroundings.
'A white void? The fuck is going on?'
"Yo, Kai, over here."
Turning to the voice, Kai saw Leo sitting in a white chair, eating popcorn.
"Leo? Oh, nice, you got the soda and popcorn. Bro, you won't believe what happened to me." Getting up, Kai started talking to his best friend, not even noticing his transparent body.
"You helped a lady from being run over by a semi-truck, but got hit yourself?" Leo asked, munching on his popcorn with nacho seasoning.
"Hell yeah, that happened! Crazy, isn't it? It's like truck-kun wanted me to get transmigrated." Kai laughed
"You're dead, bro."
Kai paused. "What?"
"You're dead. Look at your body." Leo pointed at Kai's body with his dirty finger.
Doing as his friend told, Kai examined his body and saw that he was not only transparent but intangible.
"Holy fucking shit! Did you get hit too?" Kai asked with concern. "Wait, how did you get popcorn into the afterlife?"
"What? No, I'm not dead."
"Huh? Then how are you here?" Now, Kai was starting to get confused
"Ahem, well, the truth is, I'm a god, the god of the omniverse. I was bored, so I came to Earth to mingle with you all. Found a hot woman, fucked her, got her pregnant, she gave birth to you, then-"
"Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah! Back up! You're my dad?" Now Kai's entire view on reality was getting warped
"Oh yeah, I am, aren't I? I forgot." Leo laughed, eating more popcorn.
"How the fuck do you forget something like that? We met when we were 2. We've been friends for the past 16 years! How are you, my dad, and if you are, how did you forget? How were you even a baby when we met?
"Wanted you to live a normal life, I guess. I don't fucking know! I probably just wanted to fuck your mom again. And I can change my form anytime I want."
Kai thought about everything, taking it all in. He wanted to be shocked, be angry, but he couldn't help but be excited.
"So does this make me a demi-god?" He asked, his eyes now glinting with excitement
"No. I made a human body so my divine essence wouldn't spawn demigods. It was a pain killing all of my demigod children. They tried to take over the entire universe. Won't make that mistake again. Anyway, you're dead and your soul will reincarnate, but since you're my favorite and only living child, I'll reincarnate you into a fantasy world with three wishes of your choosing."
"Yes!!! Best dad ever!" Kai organized his thoughts before speaking.
"You already know what I want, bro! Hypnosis, the one we talked about in my room. Oh, and I don't want it to be traceable or anything. Oh, and I want it to be permanent unless I turn it off myself."
"You're so fucking weird but okay." Leo snapped his fingers.
"Next, I want the perfect body. Always in peak physical condition. No sicknesses, diseases, or anything like that. And it can adapt and evolve."
"Sure. At least this wish was normal." Leo snapped his fingers once more.
"And lastly, I want a status window where I can level up, earn skills and abilities and all that good shit."
"A system, got it." But before Leo snapped his fingers, Kai interrupted
"NOOOOOOOOO! Not a system. Fuck systems. I want a status window!"
Leo sighed in frustration. "What's the difference?"
"A system gives you quests for rewards and shit. But if you decline them, you wont get rewarded and sometimes the quest is bullshit and has bullshit conditions. You can even face penalties for not doing or not completing quests. I'm not tryna deal with that. A status window just gives you everything, but you need points to use it. That's what I want."
"You're so picky, but whatever, here you go." Leo snapped his fingers.
"Yes! So now, about the world I want to get sent to-"
"Nice chat, good bye." Leo interrupted Kai and waved his hand, transporting him to the new world he would be sent to.
"You motherfuck-" Kai vanished before he could even finish cussing out his father.