The sun was blazing overhead, waves crashed rhythmically along the shore, and the cries of seagulls blended with the distant laughter of carefree students. Summer break had finally arrived, and for Lance Grayfield and his friends, that meant one thing—beach trip.
"Hey Jaden! How's the ice cream coming along?" Lance shouted, lounging under a beach umbrella like a king surveying his kingdom. He wore mirrored shades, swim trunks with pineapple prints, and had an obnoxiously large watermelon slushie in hand.
Behind him, Jaden was hunched over a cooler with sweat on his brow, clearly doing everything but relaxing.
"They'd be done by now if you got off your lazy ass and helped me!" Jaden snapped, fumbling with the stack of cups and scoops as he tried to prepare everyone's desserts.
Lance smirked, stretching out even more. "You've got no one to blame but yourself, bro. You bet everything on rock-paper-scissors. I won fair and square."
Jaden looked like he was about to throw the cooler at him. "You rigged that game! You started it with rock three times in a row!"
"That's called psychology," Lance said smugly, twirling his straw. "Can't help it if your brain is too basic to handle next-level strategies."
Jaden groaned. "I knew I should've made Jin handle desserts instead of trusting you."
Lance ignored the complaint and casually strolled over to the table of desserts. Without asking, he grabbed the most decorated ice cream—a triple swirl with peanut crumbles and caramel drizzle.
"Wow, this looks good." He took a bite with a satisfied hum. "Mmm, tell Jin he outdid himself."
Jaden blinked, eyes widening in horror as he realized what Lance had just eaten.
"Wait... you didn't just take that one, did you?"
Lance looked confused. "This one? Yeah. Why?"
"That's Jin's! It's got peanuts in it, you idiot!" Jaden screamed, lunging forward and smacking the glass out of Lance's hand. The dessert hit the sand with a splat.
"What the hell, man?! You that mad about losing a bet?" Lance coughed, brushing caramel off his chin.
Jaden grabbed him by the shoulders. "No, you moron! You're allergic to peanuts! Don't you remember what happened last time? You almost died!"
Lance blinked. "Oh. Right."
And then, as if on cue, his knees buckled.
He fell backward, arms outstretched dramatically. "Jaden... catch me..."
But Jaden just stepped aside with a blank look, letting Lance face-plant into the sand.
"Some friend you are," Lance mumbled, turning over slowly. "Can't even give me my final dramatic moments…"
"You're not dying," Jaden replied dryly. "Where's your EpiPen?"
"…I ran out."
"You what?"
"I ran out, alright?!" Lance covered his face. "And I couldn't buy another one. You know I'm broke. Rent ate my soul last month."
Jaden stared at him in stunned silence. "You—You absolute dumbass! You're going to die over an ice cream?!"
"Well... if this is how I go, I guess I'll find out if Isekai's are real. Also, delete my browser history. Burn the whole hard drive if you have to. Some files on there were never meant to be seen by mortal eyes."
"You're not dying, you idiot!"
But Lance was already fading, his vision tunneling, the world around him slowly drowning in white light.
"…Is this what death feels like?" he whispered.
The last thing he heard was Jaden's voice, laced with pure frustration:
"YOU IDIOT!!"
---
When Lance opened his eyes, he found himself lying on... water?
No, not quite. The surface beneath him was like liquid glass—crystal-clear and impossibly smooth, reflecting the sky so perfectly it felt like he was floating in the air. The clouds above shimmered gently, and in the center of this vast, ethereal lake stood a single massive tree.
It towered above everything, its branches like rivers of glowing silver and leaves that swayed in a breeze he couldn't feel.
And beneath the tree sat a man.
He wore a white kimono that shimmered like moonlight. Long white hair fell to his shoulders, and his eyes were closed in peaceful meditation.
Lance blinked. "Whoa... I was joking about the isekai thing... Is this... heaven? Or—wait—is that God?!"
The man opened his eyes and slowly stood. He was massive—easily over eight feet tall—and a golden aura radiated from his body, both intimidating and strangely comforting.
"God?" Lance asked, wide-eyed.
The man shook his head.
"No."
"Oh. Then... who?"
"I am Talos," the man said calmly. "Spirit of Rebirth. God is... far above me. I am merely a servant of his will, tasked with reincarnation."
Lance sat up. "So you're like, the guy in charge of sending people to other worlds?"
Talos nodded once.
"That's actually kinda cool."
Talos's tone remained calm and unreadable as he spoke again. "Lance Grayfield. You are one of the rare few who died without pain, without fear, without regrets… without goals, without purpose, without a girlfriend, and certainly without money."
Lance's jaw dropped. "...Okay, the last three weren't necessary."
"My apologies if the truth hurts."
Lance rubbed his face. "You're not exactly easing me into this afterlife thing."
"I'm simply stating the facts," Talos said blankly. "Your life was surprisingly uneventful. I'm surprised you didn't carry even a single regret."
"Well, I was about to regret the ice cream…"
Talos ignored him. "In any case, you are now eligible for reincarnation. You may choose the kind of world you wish to be reborn into. Your options include: an Earth-like realm with aliens, a world of ninjas, or one with alien ninjas possessed by inner demons."
Lance perked up. "Hold on. You're letting me choose?"
Talos nodded.
Lance's eyes sparkled. "Alright then... do you have a world with cat girls?"
Talos's face twitched for the first time.
It wasn't amusement or joy—it was disgust.
Lance frowned. Huh. That's the first emotion he's shown since I got here. Why does he look like I just kicked a puppy?
"I see..." Talos muttered. "So you're one of those."
"One of what?" Lance asked, defensive. "I'm not a furry, if that's what you're implying! I just like cat girls. It's different!"
Talos didn't respond. He simply raised a hand, summoning a glowing portal beneath Lance's feet.
"Well, I've chosen the perfect world for someone like you. You'll receive a power upon arrival. Try not to die immediately."
"Wait! You said ' try not to die what's in that world ?!"
Lance's question was cut off as the ground vanished and he plummeted into the glowing blue vortex.
His scream echoed as the portal sealed shut behind him.
Lance fell from the sky like a screaming meteor.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHH—!"
His pitch climbed with every second. He flailed helplessly as a dense forest rushed up to meet him, trees blurring past in streaks of green. By the time he broke through the last layer of clouds, his voice had reached such an ear-shattering pitch that several birds below fainted mid-flight.
"Oh crap oh crap oh crap—!"
Just before he collided with the earth at terminal velocity, a soft glow enveloped his body. The air around him shimmered, and his plummet slowed instantly. He hovered inches above the grass, suspended by invisible energy.
His feet gently danged in the air and he blinked in disbelief. "Wait… I'm alive? I'm actually alive!"
He spun in place, checking himself for injuries, then grinned in triumph. "Ha! Take that, gravity!"
Then a thought hit him.
I really hope no one heard me scream like that…
The image of him shrieking like a high school girl dodging a mouse flashed in his mind. He winced, visibly embarrassed.
"Yeah, no one heard that. Totally. Dignity intact."
But just as he started regaining composure, the glowing aura abruptly vanished—and he dropped straight down, landing face-first in the grass.
Thud!
"…Okay, this is getting old real fast."
He groaned, pushing himself up and brushing off stray leaves and petals. His back gave a satisfying crack as he stood.
"Well," he muttered, stretching his arms, "if I know my isekai tropes—and I definitely do—I should head toward the nearest town. That's where I'll find a guild, some suspiciously cheap armor, and a group of attractive, single adventurers looking to join my party. Preferably one tsundere, one kuudere, and a big sister-type for—"
WHAM!
A boot slammed into his chest, knocking him flat onto his back and straight into the dirt. Again.
"BWARGH—! What the hell!?" he shouted through a mouthful of soil. "Why does this keep happening?!"
He spat out grass and lifted his head groggily. A shadow loomed over him.
Standing above him was a girl.
She looked around his age, maybe a little younger, but her appearance was anything but ordinary. She had messy orange hair, two fuzzy tiger ears twitching atop her head, and stripes decorating her sun-kissed skin. Her sharp amber eyes glinted with a predatory gleam.
And… she was drooling.
Actually drooling, like a wild animal eyeing fresh meat.
"Uhh…" Lance swallowed hard. "Hi?"
She didn't respond. She just stared down at him with wide eyes, licking her lips like she hadn't eaten in days.
Lance went pale.
Oh no. She's not a waifu. She's a wild animal!
"H-Hold on, I'm not food! I'm a person! Human! Homo sapien!"
The girl leaned in closer, sniffing the air around him.
Lance instinctively scooted back, holding up his hands in surrender. "Please don't eat me. I just got here. I haven't even gotten a starter sword yet!"