Ne Job: The Intern from Hell
Chapter 10 – The Form Golem Rises
The Bureau was never quiet, but this silence was different.
Every clerk, every assistant, every celestial auditor froze at their desks as the Form Golem rose to its full height, its body stitched from thousands of glowing, urgent documents.
Ne Job, still smeared with ink and half-buried under rejection slips, pointed up at it with trembling hands.
"Yue… tell me this is just a nightmare. Tell me I'm going to wake up late for work and find out none of this happened."
"No, Intern." Yue's glasses glinted dangerously. "This is your mess, and you will clean it up."
The Form Golem roared again, its voice like ten thousand clerks shouting "Deadline!" in unison. Its chest bore a glowing sigil:
"CASCADE ERROR: INTERN LIABLE."
Ao Bing folded his arms. "Well. Congratulations. You've managed to turn paperwork into an extinction-level event."
Ne Job whipped around. "Are you seriously mocking me right now? That thing is going to pulp us into sticky notes!"
---
The Bureau's Emergency Response
A bell tolled deep in the Bureau's halls. Emergency shutters slammed down. Filing cabinets sprouted legs and scurried for cover.
Sirens wailed:
"CODE 99! FORM GOLEM INCIDENT! ALL EMPLOYEES TO EVACUATION ZONES!"
Clerks screamed as they stamped last-minute requests for leave slips. Assistants dove under desks. Even the immortal photocopier spirit unplugged itself and wheeled out the back door.
Only Ne Job, Yue, and Ao Bing remained in the central hall with the monster.
Yue adjusted her cuffs. "Listen carefully. A Form Golem cannot be defeated by force. Its body regenerates as long as unfiled paperwork exists in the Bureau."
"Unfiled—?!" Ne Job clutched his hair. "That's infinite! The Bureau is made of unfiled paperwork!"
Ao Bing smirked. "Then you're doomed."
"Not helping!" Ne Job snapped.
---
The Battle Begins
The Form Golem raised its massive hand—a stack of tax reports the size of a house—and slammed it down.
Ne Job rolled off his chair just in time, the impact shattering the floor and leaving a crater filled with shredded paper.
"Yue!" he shouted, scrambling behind his desk. "You said it can't be beaten by force! What about… what about fire?!"
"Fire is prohibited inside the Bureau."
"Then water?"
"Water warps documents. Also prohibited."
"Then what CAN I do?!"
Yue's eyes narrowed. "You fight it… with paperwork."
Ne Job's jaw dropped. "WHAT?!"
---
Bureaucratic Combat
The Form Golem swung again. Ne Job dove aside, grabbed a loose form, and hurled it like a ninja star. It stuck harmlessly to the golem's leg.
The monster paused—then absorbed the sheet into its body, growing larger.
"YUE!!!" Ne Job screamed. "It eats forms! It's eating my attacks!"
"Not just any forms." Yue's voice was calm, precise. "It only consumes mistakes. Bad filing, errors, sloppy handwriting—that strengthens it. But if you submit a perfect form… you can damage it."
Ao Bing raised a smug eyebrow. "So essentially, Intern, you must do the one thing you are utterly incapable of."
Ne Job growled. "Shut up and give me a brush!"
---
Ne Job's Attempt
He dipped his brush in ink, sweat dripping down his forehead. The form trembled in his hands. He began filling it out with desperate speed:
Name of Applicant: Ne Job.
Department: Lost Causes.
Purpose of Request: Survive giant paper monster.
He stamped it and flung it at the golem.
The form smacked the creature's chest—and for a second, the sigil flickered. The golem let out a pained groan, staggering back half a step.
It worked.
Ne Job's eyes widened. "It worked! Yue, did you see that?! I hit it! I can do this!"
Yue's expression softened slightly. "Don't celebrate yet. That was one form. You'll need hundreds."
The golem roared, slamming its fists into the ground, sending shockwaves of red-stamped "URGENT" sheets flying in every direction.
---
Chaos in the Hall
Ne Job scrambled, tripping over rejected forms as he filled out another. He was writing like his life depended on it—because it did.
Request Type: Emergency Filing.
Reason: Monster attack.
Signature: Ne Job (in panic).
Stamp. Throw. Hit. The golem staggered again, part of its arm peeling away into loose sheets that dissolved into nothing.
Ne Job whooped. "I'm doing it! I'm slaying the beast with the power of administration!"
Ao Bing rolled his eyes. "Barely. Your handwriting still looks like a dying spider."
"Then help me!" Ne Job snapped.
"I'm not lowering myself to intern-level combat." Ao Bing flicked his sleeve. "This is your punishment."
---
The Final Deadline
The golem bent down, its glowing eyes locking onto Ne Job. With a deafening roar, it slammed both fists together, creating a tidal wave of paper that rushed across the hall.
Ne Job was swept up, flailing as he was buried again.
When he emerged, gasping for air, Yue was standing at his side, holding out a fresh stack of forms.
"You can't win by flailing, Intern," she said firmly. "Bureaucracy is about precision. Focus. Discipline. Breathe."
Ne Job stared at her, wide-eyed. "Yue… are you… are you actually encouraging me?"
She adjusted her glasses. "Don't misunderstand. I just don't want to do your punishment paperwork."
Still, her words steadied him. For the first time since entering the Bureau, Ne Job stopped panicking. He dipped his brush, straightened the form, and began writing—not as a joke, not in desperation, but with actual concentration.
The strokes came out smoother. The characters clearer. The form looked… almost official.
When he stamped it and hurled it at the golem, it struck like a spear of light. The monster reeled back, entire sections of its body disintegrating.
Gasps echoed through the Bureau. Clerks peered out from hiding. "The intern… he's filing correctly?!"
Ao Bing's smirk faded slightly. "…Impossible."
---
Cliffhanger
The golem shrieked, its form destabilizing. But then the glowing sigil on its chest pulsed brighter, absorbing even more power from the surrounding unfinished documents.
It swelled, doubling in size, towering so high its head scraped the ceiling.
"ERROR OVERFLOW. DEADLINE MODE ACTIVATED."
The monster's body ignited with red flames of bureaucracy. The air thickened with the stench of burning ink.
Yue's face went pale. "It's entering Deadline Mode. If it finishes charging…"
"What happens?!" Ne Job shouted.
Her voice dropped to a whisper. "…Every employee in this Bureau will be automatically terminated."
Ne Job froze, brush clutched in his ink-stained hands. The golem raised its colossal fist, glowing like a bureaucratic sun, preparing to bring it down.
Ne Job's scream echoed through the hall.