What are dreams?
I've been told that dreams are immersive versions of what we inwardly wish for without realising it. Or a part of us exploring a reality that could never be real.
The concept of it sounded like a privilege.
Perhaps because my dreams, contrary to what I've been told… were always the same.
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A void of black took the world with an iron grip.
Empty as it was dark. Pulsing with an energy that seemed to consume, not give.
And within it, silence hummed.
The sounds of monks chanting to the mountain gods. Ancient hymns of forgotten shore.
Amidst the sunken fingers of white ghosts and the rising fog of soft whispers, there was a young boy with bright, yellow hair.
A tranquil sun that fought against the encroaching darkness.
Where the child hovered, the darkness seemed to heed. Bowing to the invisible forces of a human, unconscious and lost in the depths.
Yet, that depth sang.
And the boy who seemed untouched began to steer.
His eyelids quivered, and his chest thumped with the beat of life.
The child's gaze snapped open, and behold, a pair of golden lenses stared back into the abyss.
It stirred. Shifting side to side as if ascertaining its surroundings.
And once it did, it spoke.
"Come out."
The silent hum froze.
And the darkness seemed to yield.
Surrounding the youth, seven forms of shadows emerged.
Their bodies were of ancient umbra. Figures that seemed to warp. Moulding and shifting into the will of the golden child.
They moved as if pulled by a taut string, hovering over the boy where they stopped, meters away from him.
Each figure seemed to gawk at the sun within this mighty eclipse. Unwilling to move further than they already did.
Any closer… and they will be consumed.
What felt like seconds was, in truth, centuries of watching.
And like the very beginning, nothing changed.
The golden sun scoffed.
"Awaken."
***
A young boy rose from his bed like the dead.
His yellow-lush hair glowing with the rays of the sun, a small groan escaped his lips.
He tugged at his forehead while his bed yawned with the lightest of motion.
A cushion of straws and hay. Conventional as it was, it was uncomfortable.
The young lad shook his head, evading the clouding thoughts that had begun to plague him.
"That dream again?" He muttered under his breath when a gust of something dark shimmered at the corner of his eyes.
He froze.
Raising his head to meet the figure which stood by his door with a dry expression on his face.
"And… you're still here."
An apparition of a Knight made of dark clouds and shadow stood by his door.
His vividly patterned helmet and adorned armour were a stifling contrast to the beams of the rising sun.
On its helm was a cross that ran down and across its face. A thin visor reflecting two pairs of dark flames. Pulsing as if it were alive.
Its armour seemed to absorb the rays of the sun, and not reflect them. Ancient splendour reflecting from its pristine form.
Like the shadow itself, it remained unmoved.
Its helm captured the lad's face with a menacing glare. Its pulsing lights flicker wildly.
The Phantom Knight, he called it.
The two figures watched in silence… like they always did every morning.
'I had assumed I would lose you today…'
He rose from his bed just as his blanket dropped, revealing an adaptable figure of chiselled muscles and distinguished proportion.
He shifted his gaze away from the apparition when a voice snapped him from his thoughts.
And pulled him back from the lucidity of his dream.
"Luca! Breakfast is ready!"
Her voice, though strained from years of living, was filled with the warmth and love that had always followed her since her youth.
Liora, the boy's mother's voice, rang in his ear with certainty.
Luca turned to the side of his bed where two tools were placed carefully. A hoe and a pickaxe.
He grabbed them and headed for the door. Picking up a t-shirt soon after.
"I'll be right down."
He replied.
'Though, once again… I find myself wondering how you knew I was awake.'
Reaching his door, he pulled it and walked out.
Then closed it slowly, as the sound of chattering armour followed closely behind him.
The apparition phased through the door and headed down with him.
'They say the parts of us we wish not to let the world see are hidden within us.'
His gaze shifted to the side where the apparition walked silently.
'Yet, for some reason. I find myself believing that I stare at it every morning.'
How long had it been since he first saw the ghostly figure that no one else saw?
Well, from the very beginning.
With years gone by, he had come to understand it as the Alter persona.
A manifestation of the part hidden within us.
But, he couldn't tell for sure.
Why he was able to see him in the physical had always been a brain-ruiner for the young lad.
"Hah, Luca, my boy, I see you've decided to grace us with your presence."
Luca's steps echoed with the creaking of wood until he came to a halt in a small dining room.
The familiar scent of breakfast took root quickly in his senses.
He cast a glance at the man who sat at the other end of the small table, a smile forming on his face as they locked eyes.
"Father, your jokes are getting old."
The young boy hovered over the chair and took a seat.
Waiting patiently as their meals were served by the middle-aged woman of a similar appearance to Luca.
Mavrik, Luca's father, laughed out buoyantly.
"I hear when a child becomes an adult, they tend to grow wings and avoid their parents."
Luca's smile widened, a chuckle escaping his lips.
"I only turned 13, Father, I'm not planning on moving out or anything yet."
The room was filled with the lively chatter of the family and the small laughs that filled the corners.
But their laughter wavered, as the darkness that came with the age of maturity began to grow worry in their hearts.
Liora sat with them after dropping a tea kettle.
She settled with the others with an expression that failed to hide her worry.
"Luca, how do you feel? How were your dreams?"
Mavrik frowned and turned to his wife.
"Liora dear, it is a joyful day. Let's not sadden it with such discussions."
Liora sighed as she rolled a napkin over her worn-out dress.
"We can no longer deny what is to come.
He is at the age where they begin to experience the signs.
What we need to do is prepare him."
Mavrik's frown deepened.
"I will not have such conversations in my dining room."
Liora turned to him with a tear-filled gaze.
"How much more can you den"– "Father, Mother."
The air immediately went silent with the sound of Luca. Accompanied by the clicking of wooden cutlery as he picked them up.
"I understand your worries… your fears, but let us put that aside for now, as father says."
Liora turned to him with the same expression that failed to stay hidden within the mask she tried to hoist over her face.
Luca, with the endearing golden eyes, stared deeply into his Mother's.
"We will discuss this once the meal is over."
His mother's shoulders slumped slightly.
A heavy sigh escaped her lips as they began to serve their meals and dine.
Luca remained settled on his spot.
Holding the mask that had never once wavered in front of his parents.
He had always been the child who calmed the storms.
An iron mind and a will that was just as strong, but today… All of that meant nothing to what was to come. If it were to come, but no matter how much he thought about it, the trance was inevitable.
His thoughts reeled in as a ghostly figure moved at the periphery of his vision.
Luca didn't need to raise his head to know what it was.
Its presence was one he had never ignored, especially on this day. It was the reason he was confident in going through the trial that eluded many.
The being settled not just in the dining room, but in Luca's chest as well.
Its arms folded with an aura that sent Luca's heartbeat on a marathon.
'Times have changed since the Day of the Umbral. What was it… a thousand years ago? When the planetary body, Eidolon, first appeared.'
The history he had learnt in hiding in the restricted libraries of his old, poorly funded school flowed through in slides.
'It signalled with it, a new dawn… and the birth of the Egoists.
Beings that had surpassed the state of humanity and begun their assimilation with their inner selves… the Alter personas… their Ego.'
He stopped mid-meal and turned to his side, where the apparition stood in silence.
Its eyes were brimming with life behind its visor as they locked gazes.
'At the age of thirteen, the Null trance ensues us, and brings with it… the Trials of Self-conquering.'
A sigh escaped his lips as he continued his meal.
Ignoring the side glance thrown at him from the side.
'How unfortunate that I have come to that age… but I knew from the start that I could never run away from it.'
You see, while many considered the Null trance as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, many considered it a curse. A divine punishment.
For just as it had the purpose of self-conquering, it gave way to the uncanny lust of self-destruction.
Luca froze once more as his thoughts reeled in the information.
A shock of static current ran down his bones as he let out an exasperated sigh.
'Not everyone goes through a trance, so maybe all my worries will be rewarded with nothing.'
He threw them away and feasted on his breakfast.
Drowning his thoughts in ash-bread, dipped in herb butter and a thick broth of stew grain, laced with season and ghost peppers.
And on the side, a cup of fermented milk.
Worrying never solved anything.