I was enjoying a rare, deep sleep when something bright stabbed straight into my eyes.
I groaned, rolled to the side, and covered my face with my arm. "Who's the idiot shining a torch at my face?"
But when I finally forced my eyes open, no one was there. Instead, a floating panel hovered in front of me, glowing with red letters.
[Delivery System Starting…]
I blinked, then a second time. "What the hell is this?" But before I could even process what was happening, heavy footsteps shook the ground.
The kind that sounded like someone dragging a whole damn tree.
Instinct hit me like a slap, so much animalistic that it screamed at me to run away. You don't want to know what's coming!
I did what every sane person would do in my situation and bolted away.
Then it came. A massive kobold, at least twice my size, built like a tank on two legs, burst out of the bushes with red eyes, lunging straight at me.
Damn. My heart dropped, remembering the furry content from my previous life and how each one had a massive dong.
"Don't tell me I'm stuck in a furry BL novel!"
"Oh, no way!" I tried to scramble back, but my legs weren't cooperating. My limbs felt longer… and different?
He didn't stop charging. I could've sworn he was shouting a name that somehow sounded familiar to me.
Then he grabbed me, and instead of crushing me, he hugged me. Really hard, to the point my spine cracked loud enough for me to hear it.
If I had to complain about something, it would be his foul breath.
"Seriously?" I groaned.
"Ragnar! Brother, where were you!? We looked all night! The clan's losing their minds!" he cried, his voice hitching.
And then he wiped his snot all over me.
"Bro, really?"
A two-meter monster of muscle and scales bawling on my shoulder like a lost puppy.
I just stared at him, mentally detached. My brain was stuck between Who are you? and Please don't snap my spine in half.
"I… uh… yeah, I'm here?" I said with an awkward smile.
That's when I noticed something warm on my forehead, so I touched it with my claws.
Feeling the thick crimson blood that wasn't the same as human blood I was used to back when I was a doctor.
But another little detail interested me more.
"Why the fuck do I have claws?"
"This… absolutely nut!" I said the same comment I would say about every Dark Souls game I played.
Because that's the same level of how fucked I was.
Shock settled in slowly, maybe because a talking kobold was still clinging to me.
Then memories that weren't mine rushed in, running through the forest in the dark, then tripping and falling on my head.
"Did I really… die because I tripped?"
Out of everything? Just because of simple gravity? Does Newton's law even apply here?
"You've got to be kidding me."
And apparently, I wasn't even reincarnated into a decent kobold. Instead, I replaced one with terrible night vision, worse footing, and basically no survival instincts, the weakest kobold in existence.
The same kind that people make memes about in waifu gacha games and write fanfics about him.
Though, I doubt anyone would write a fanfic about a kobold like this.
Then it fell on me. I took a sneak peek at my little brother down there, and it looked HUGE.
I guess it wasn't a big loss, but still. Could you give me a tutorial here?
As I kept thinking, the big kobold finally let go, stepping back with an embarrassed sniff.
"Ragnar… the elders will be relieved. Come on, let's go back," he tugged my arm gently, like he thought I'd vanish again.
It was really adorable. This big kobold really cared about his brother.
But then my attention snapped back to the floating panel in front of me as it finished loading, with letters glowing in red light.
[First Delivery Mission Generated]
Deliver 30 Valva to the nearby Goblin Clan
Rewards:
20 Tomado
5+ Interaction Points
1 Evolution Chance
I deadpanned at it.
"Deliver fruit… to goblins… that hate us… Right." My voice faded with each word.
Valva and Tomado, forest fruits the kobold clan usually traded. Valva was sweet and common; goblins especially loved it. Meanwhile, Tomado was rarer and valuable.
So if I delivered thirty Valva, I'd get twenty Tomado back. Not a bad deal.
Each tribe had its own patron goddess sisters.
But both were low-ranking compared to the Sovereign Goddesses at the top.
The gods at the top were strong enough to crush dragons like bugs. You'd only see them in the Astral Realm, where even the air could flatten mountains.
But that didn't matter. What mattered was that kobolds and goblins lived too close, fought too often, so we were like neighbours that hated each other.
A delivery between us was basically impossible.
It was the same difficulty as 1 man vs. 100 gorillas, but each one had laser beams coming from its eyes.
Meanwhile, my brother tilted his head at me. "What did you say?"
"Nothing. Pain's going away." Hearing my words, he looked relieved.
I wasn't sure what the original Ragnar acted like, but I could fake it.
I looked back at the panel, seeing the most important reward.
Valva… NO, I meant that 1 Evolution Chance.
That alone hooked me. Evolution was a huge deal for kobolds: more strength, better magic resistance, even stamina.
And it sounded fun to evolve and unlock new skins like inside a game. Maybe I would even have draconic wings!
But to evolve, I had to finish this ridiculous mission.
I paced a little, thinking. Goblins and kobolds hated each other, sure, but I remembered something.
Recently, the goblins were getting bullied by a group of low-IQ orcs that wandered near their territory, too dumb to raid, strong enough to beat goblins senseless for fun.
Everyone heard their complaints, even the kobolds.
I tapped my claws on my arm. If the goblins are desperate… they'll negotiate.
If I helped them with their orc problem, they'd let me deliver the fruit safely.
"So that's it," I whispered. "Help them, deliver the Valva, get my evolution. Simply."
My brother's ears twitched. "What are you mumbling?"
"A plan," I said. "A really good one."
He didn't get it, but he nodded anyway.
A small grin crept onto my face. Even in this small body, the thought of proving everyone was wrong excited me!
"Brother," he said quietly, "we… We were really scared last night. Why did you run into the forest? Did something chase you?"
I glanced at him. 'Should I tell him Ragnar died because he tripped over air?'
Yeah, nope. No way. I was starting my new life with that.
"I'll tell you later," I said. "Right now, we're going home because I need to prepare something."
"Prepare what?" He looked at me puzzled.
I smirked. "A delivery."
He blinked at me, then nodded with complete trust.
We walked back toward the kobold settlement under the rain.